random thoughts – Day 2,353 (Monday) – light panels and turkeys

Plastic light panel, ca 1989.

The sun was shining and all was well. At least, until I tried to actually do anything. For the past year, I have intended to remove the textured plastic covers from the ceiling lights in the kitchen and bathroom to clean them. Periodically, over that year, I have tried to figure out how to release them from the frames to facilitate the cleaning. Today, I tried again. Just like before, it didn’t go well.

There are two tiny levers on each frame. I stood on the stepstool and tried to pry the miniscule tab out with the file from a nail clipper. It was a total failure in the bathroom and the tabs wouldn't budge. On one of the kitchen fixtures, the levers actually move and I got them swiveled out. And then nothing happened. I still couldn’t figure out how to get the plastic sheet out. 

They are all yellowed and very crispy and are very likely the original 1989 sheets of plastic. If I break it, how will I replace it? I don’t even know what it’s called or where to find it. 

Turkey dinner party out back.

The female turkeys and the younglings paid two visits to my backyard today. I was surprised on the morning visit. I was out by the recycle and trash bins and the turkeys suddenly appeared from behind the shed. Just a few feet separated us as they sauntered by, and because all I was doing was putting a jar in the bin, I didn’t have my phone and missed the best chance for close-up turkey photos.

During the evening dinner party visit, I happened to be at the kitchen sink and they appeared. One clever little poult wiggled itself through a space in the wire fencing around the squash, basil, and lavender plants and feasted on the ground in peace and solitude while the other birds headed to the far side of the yard. 

random thoughts – Day 2,352 (Sunday) – plans and gentle peaks

Woke up to clouds and rain and no plans for the day, which was perfect because I have books to read. Before I had finished knocking out the last couple chapters of the book I was too tired to finish last night, there was an incoming message about going to the movies today. Yes, please! That is also a perfect wet weather activity. The plan was set – 4:00, chick flick (Spa Weekend).

The time between making and executing the plan was spent on details for a Boston trip on Friday, doing laundry, telling Miss Kiki how wonderful she is, and eating leftover brew pub quesadilla for lunch. The rain stopped and the sun broke through sometime around 1:30 or so.

There was a test run of the “Sharper Image Acupressure Mat and Pillow” with “over 7,000 gentle peaks” (very pointy plastic bits) to stimulate muscles. I bought it Saturday at Ollie’s Bargain Outlet right before meeting friends at Thirsty Robot. I wasn’t looking for such a product, but it found me. It was the only one on the shelf.

Feet activated.

I set the new acupressure mat on the living room floor and laid down with it under my back and the pillow under my head. It didn’t really feel like anything anywhere. I moved the bulk of my hair so the pillow’s “gentle peaks” had more direct contact with my head. I pulled my knees to my chest so my back had more direct contact with the mat. It was neither pleasant nor unpleasant. I wondered if anything was even happening and also if my clothing was too thick as the model on the box was wearing Lycra leggings and a cropped sport bra top and I was wearing cotton twill pants and a long sleeve tee shirt.

When I stood up, my back felt pretty good, as in, not horrible. I stepped on the mat and the soles of my sock-clad feet felt stimulated, activated and ready for action. Kind of tingly and suddenly, immediately alive. Wow. That, right there, was worth the $12.99 bargain outlet price tag.

The movie was good, as in, it was a brief distraction from the ongoing stress and strain of real life – BS politics, war, increasing prices for food that will either sicken us or kill us (salmonella jalapenos, salmonella eggs, cyclospora lettuce, E. coli alfalfa sprouts, E. Coli blueberries, etc.). Luckily, movie popcorn is not on the list (yet) and a large bucket of it was had and called supper.

There were some decent laughs in the movie and my friend and I now want a spa weekend, just not as screwy as in the movie. My body always hurts and my skin is developing all the issues I was spared as a teenager. I want soothing music as I sit around in a fluffy robe sipping cucumber water between a massage a facial and to feel relaxed even if it takes money for someone else’s skill and training to make it happen. Lord knows, I don’t know how to make it happen on my own.

Unfortunately, neither my friend nor I know of a single day or weekend spa in our region. I went a couple times to a lovely place in Clarksville, TN, but that was a million years and 1,100+ miles ago. I detect a research project on the horizon.

random thoughts – Day 2,351 (Saturday) – finnish pastry and thirsty robot

The day began with attending the Finnish Mama 4^th Annual Summer Finnish Coffee Table. I initially thought it was on Sunday, but luckily got the info straight in time to attend on the correct day. Some of my friends are in the Finnish dance group and I have been very negligent in seeing them perform, which I have felt bad about.

I saw a Finnish Mama booth at a festival last fall that the dance troupe performed at and I was intrigued by the variety of pastries. There were coffee breads with orange and other fruit flavorings, and lots of smaller bun type breads that I wanted to try, but that festival day was warm and it was during the stretch when my neck and shoulder were in big pain and after we danced I just wanted to get out of Dodge as quickly as possible. 

Dancers in authentic Finnish costumes.

Today was a great opportunity to check out the pastries and see my friends dance the Finnish dances. I didn't quite know what to expect, and all I can say is "wow"! A long table in the center of the room was loaded with plain and flavored coffee breads, tiny cakes, and cookies. There was coffee, iced tea, and cucumber water.

The dancers wear authentic Finnish costumes from various regions in Finland and perform several dances. I even had a chance to chat with someone who has been to Finland several times and now I want to go there even more. 

The day turned into a double-header of social events with a meet-up at Thirsty Robot for supper, music and a game from the big rack of tabletop games. We played Shut the Box, a wooden dice board game I had never heard of before and now look forward to playing again.

Five of us shared quesadilla, pretzel, and pizza. Some of us were meeting for the first time, but it felt like we were all long-time friends. The quesadilla is amazing with a lacy edging of browned and crunchy cheese. The pretzel was warm and soft and served with mustard and beer cheese dip. The pizza was as good as the last time I was there. We ate until we were full and there was still some left over. I love it when a day without solid plans blossoms into a fun time with friends.

random thoughts – Day 2,350 (Friday) – schedules and procrastination

Another Friday and another week have come and gone. Despite being unemployed for 14 months, I still have the Monday-Friday office work sense of time with weekdays as one vibe and weekends having a special time-off mood. Except all my days are time-off days now. Every day is essentially a weekend day.

Today was another of the new ordinary every day is a weekend day days. I had a plan to take the free commuter train to Boston. When I had made no effort to leave the house to be on the 11:25 train, there was still the 1:25. When I was still at home doing nothing at 1:15, there was still the 3:25 train, but that was just pushing everything too late.

So, like most of the Fridays all summer long, I hung around the house, ate every few hours, and read a book (Rage by John Kellerman). There is always next Friday, but that is the final Friday of the free commuter train program, so if I blow it again then, I will have missed out.

Lawn offering.

One of the commuter turkeys that pass through the yard on a schedule that has not yet been catalogued left an offering of a feather. I’ve seen random feathers on lawns throughout the neighborhood and today it was my lawn’s turn. It fluttered in the not so green grass with the breezes until I picked it up and stuck in the flowerpot with the reddish mum. 

Somewhere in a box in the house are several turkey feathers from the yard in Tennessee. There was never a plan for them, they just live in a box with the art supplies.

random thoughts – Day 2,349 (Thursday) – water and storage

The city is under a mandatory water ban from 9 am to 5 pm which went into effect May 11. The ban states that “Nonessential outdoor water uses that are subject to mandatory restrictions include:

-          Irrigation of lawns via sprinklers or automatic irrigation systems;

-          Washing of vehicles, except in a commercial car wash or as necessary for operator safety;

-          Washing of exterior building surfaces, parking lots, driveways or sidewalks, except as necessary to apply surface treatments such as paint, preservatives, stucco, pavement or cement.

Unfortunately, my adherence to rules that benefit the public good often causes me to resent those who disregard them and potentially endanger the public or abuse public resources (like the water supply).

What water ban? Let's wash the shed.

Today, my resentment was provoked by a neighbor who spent several hours this morning washing his house, carport, shed, planter boxes, snow plow that has sat in the driveway since he took it off in the spring, back deck, and all his lawn equipment which he had pulled out of the shed. This same neighbor washes his truck practically every other day. 

I didn’t act on my resentment and feelings of moral superiority and stayed inside my house reading a book, looking out the window once in a while and observing the activity, and telling him off in my head for being a selfish water wasting dipshit.

Stuffed animal storage chair!

Anyway. After the domestic washing event was done, my social media scrolling delivered chuckles. One of them was in an ad for Five Below, chain store purveyors of inexpensive trendy things. A featured (and fascinating) item in today’s ads was a “stuffed animal storage chair.” 

Damn skippy, I could have used that storage chair when I was young and had tons of stuffed animals and I have adult friends and family who would probably like it now.  It might even look really cool stuffed with all my belly dance practice scarves and veils which are currently crammed into and overflowing a basket. New decorating quest? We’ll see.

random thoughts – Day 2,348 (Wednesday) – milestones and intrusions

The milestone accolades continue to pile up. Well, in Duolingo and other pretend realms, not so much in real life. Today, my streak hit day number 2,222 which, numerically looks cool. It popped up on my phone screen after completing a lesson this morning and, like so many other things in my phone and laptop, has absolutely no value in the world beyond my phone. 

My email is now gamified with a little badge popping up to pat me on the back if I delete some magical number of messages some magical number of days in a row. This one has zero fun value and is 100% annoying. I am not looking to spend more time in my inbox, I just want to check messages, get out, and move on with my day. I don’t want extra overlays on the screen patting me on the back and blowing smoke up my butt for deleting some emails.

The annoyances have multiplied in the retail world in the form of interrogations, specifically Ocean State Job Lot, which is close to the house so I go there a lot. The annoying practice is to flash a survey on the payment screen while the customer is attempting to pay and get out of the store. No, I don’t want to answer questions about today's customer service and hold up the rest of the checkout line that extends halfway up an aisle while doing so. Ocean State still has employees at the registers and doesn’t force us to check out purchases ourselves and I appreciate that.

The surveys are rampant, but usually arrive via text or email and I can deal with them (mostly delete) on my own time. I get one every time I go to the dentist. I ignore it, and they send a follow-up. I get them from the doctor’s office (also ignored). And Amazon. And Kohl’s. Walmart. Ocean State the one time I ordered something ship to store. I am exhausted by ignoring all the requests and then the screen congratulating me for deleting emails. I'm all surveyed out.

random thoughts – Day 2,347 (Tuesday) – choose your own

Yesterday I returned a books to the Little Library Box and it was so full I needed to take more out so they would fit. One of them is a “choose your own adventure” book. I’ve heard of the concept, and the book is pretty cool. Each chapter ends with an choice and tells what page to go to for the option chosen. There is a lot going in for 188 pages.

On the way to dance I stopped for gas and air. The tiny station on route 2 was packed with vehicles being jockeyed into position and a massive dump truck swallowing up the space. To the credit of the other drivers, we all made it out unscathed.

Dance was good, but the wood floor was slippery again, especially when we had the A/C running. I slipped in my ballet shoes and I slipped when I was barefoot. there was no winning. We tried both choices. The slightly less slippery floor meant sweating like crazy but the conditioned, drier air meant a more slippery floor, and neither was ideal. It’s hard to dance full out when I don’t trust one knee and ankle and the floor is already trying to wipe me out.

On the way home, I decided to stop to grab some supper. The options included Market Basket prepared food, Chines food, or pizza. I missed the turn into a plaza with both Chinese and pizza, missed the turn for the grocery store, and ended up at a pizza place down the street from home. The pizza was good, just not the way I love it. The crust was a bit thicker than I like, it was light on sauce, the mushrooms were chewy and seemed like they came from a jar, but to its credit, it had a good amount of cheese. I will likely choose a different menu option if I go back there. The pizza option has ben chosen and it’s time to back up a chapter, make a different choice, and try that adventure.

random thoughts – Day 2,346 (Monday) – more real turkeys

Narcissus!

Real Turkeys of South Gardner returned with new episodes today. The afternoon matinee featured fast moving adult females on Sunrise Lane accompanied by several equally fleet footed younger birds that Mom and I call “the teenagers” because they are larger than the youngest birds, but not as large as the adults. This looked like a different flock than the one I usually see with the two hens, one adolescent, and four littles.

The group hustled across from my side of the street to the other as if they were in a race and were soon hidden by shrubs and fencing. They moved too fast to get them all in a photo. One of the adults was walking a bit off, and she may be the hen that had the injured foot last year. If it is her, she’s made great improvement. If it isn’t her, what’s up with the lame hens?

Silly bunny.

Later, over on Champagne Road, the gang of four toms seemed to be missing a member. Two toms were walking on the roof of the tan house. Narcissus was across the street making love to his reflection in the chrome on the back of the Tacoma. I was imagining the soft turkey noises I heard were the fowl equivalent of "dang, you are one handsome dude, I can't take my eyes off you." Maybe the toms rotate the chrome time and it isn't always the same one. I wonder if the vehicle owner is aware of the evening admiration ritual and chrome pecking. The fourth tom was nowhere in sight. I hope he’s okay. Maybe he was on the far side of the roof.

A few houses up the street, a bunny dined from the greenery growing in the long crack in a longer driveway. There was lawn on either side of the driveway, so it was amusing seeing it sitting on the pavement eating from a skinny strip of grass.

It's darker earlier now and as I passed the houses, images from giant TVs could be seen from the street. My TV looks like a postage stamp compared to some of the ones I saw, but I am unbothered. I have no desire for a TV screen so large someone on the street could also watch.

random thoughts – Day 2,345 (Sunday) – screws and loss

Screws. 

Fourteen years ago today, I lost a few screws. (Unleash the loose screw comments. Go ahead, I’ll wait.)

The screws were in my left leg – two at the knee, two at the ankle, and were inserted the previous October with the rod that was set in my shinbone (tibia, if you want to be all correct about it). The fibula also snapped, but it never got any attention during the rebuild. 

I could see the screws under my skin and it grossed me out, so when the surgeon said they could be removed, my response was along the lines of “ok, great, can we do it right now?” Unfortunately, it was not like adding a manicure to the pedicure appointment and required planning and scheduling and transportation coordination due to factors like anesthesia.

I miss these guys.

Once removed, the screws were set into a screw top container (ha, ha) and I took them home. My morbid self had asked for them and I was surprised (and slightly freaked out) at how long they are. They are currently still in the container and somewhere in the house, but it might take some digging to locate them.

While I relaxed on the couch after the quick procedure during which I enjoyed a satisfying drug-induced nap, Moose and Winston, my constant companions, kept me company. I really miss those little guys. 

It stinks that great pets can’t live forever or at least as long as we humans live. Moose shepherded me through a breakup and the immediate aftermath of the broken leg, and Winston joined us several months after the leg injury and added his flavor of support.

The screws are gone from the leg, and so is my full trust in my leg. It’s great for walking, casual hiking, and even belly dance, but those don’t involve jumping or anything even remotely strenuous. This summer’s weekly ballet class has illuminated my lack of trust in my left leg (and ankle) for leaps of any flavor. Leaps used to be my thing. Some of my dancer friends were amazing at spins and holding long poses with an amazing elevation of a leg, and I loved the hang time in a leap and often received the teacher feedback of “great push off” when we did grand jetes across the back of the room. 

In dance, it was leaps, and in roller derby we had to jump over objects while skating to pass our skills test. Now, I barely trust myself to do a tiny hop over a crack. The broken leg broke my spirit. I’ve known it for a while, but it’s become shockingly obvious to me lately. I gained a titanium rod and lost the bold and zesty version of myself I was before it happened. It’s been gone so long now I don’t know if it’s possible to get even a sliver of it back.

random thoughts – Day 2,344 (Saturday) – water, sunshine, and food

Rippling pool water.

The forecast was for nice weather and that was good because it was the day of one my belly dance groups pool party pot luck. Dance bestie picked me up and we headed to the destination -- a lovely backyard oasis with a pool, massive dining countertop, beautiful plantings, and lots of seating.

We live in several different towns and some of us hadn’t seen each other since our show on June 16^th which now feels like a very long time ago. In September we will start our classes again, in a new venue as the old place was sold. That has been the situation with both dance groups I’ve been in over the past couple years.

It was a bit cool and cloudy at the start of our gathering which made it comfortable and perfect for eating. There was so much food we could have fed the navy with salads of the vegetable, bean, pasta and antipasta varieties; assorted veggies and fruits; multiple varieties of hummus; lemonade and iced teas; and desserts. So many desserts, including carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting made by dance bestie to continue the celebration of my birthday earlier in the week. The carrot cake cupcakes were far superior to the store-bought carrot cake earlier in the week.

Poolside prettiness.

The water rippled and sparkled in the pool. After a couple people went in the water and came back out, the clouds split up and scattered and the sun came out stronger. I’m not really a pool person (the chlorine wreaks havoc with my skin) and was content to sit at the edge of the pool with my feet in the water.

We sat in the shade near a tall pink variety of hydrangea (I had to look it up in PlantNet) and chatted. During the afternoon our multifaceted group covered all the important topics -- food, a couple local murders, looking for houses, state police department horses, an upcoming dance show, various styles of dance classes, children and grandchildren, sleep and waking up, knee problems and surgeries, and a thousand other things. It was fun.

The evening walk was taken earlier than usual and it was quiet. There were none of the usual critters and very few people in sight at 5:30. A cookout was underway at one house and the smell of smoke filled the air.  After walking off the caloric equivalent of one potato chip from the afternoon party, I dove into some bean salad, followed by carrot cake muffins. Life was extra good today.

random thoughts – Day 2,343 (Friday) – turkey antics

Today’s new and exciting episode of Real Turkeys of South Gardner opened with the females with poults parading on my street. The one with the four littles and the one with the teenage turkey reappeared around 2:30 this afternoon and traversed the yards on both sides of the pavement.

During my evening walk I was surprised to not see the four males who nearly always congregate two streets over. I was hoping to see the one turkey dude eyeballing himself in the truck chrome again, but the truck sat in the driveway, ignored.

Turkeys on a Roof.

Instead, a few houses down the street from the Tundra with chrome, there was an odd sound up high and that is when I finally spotted the four males. They stood along the peak of the roof of a house as the sun sank lower. Against a backdrop of trees, they strutted and posed like sculptures and shifted around and one even shoved another one. Now I wonder if there have been turkeys on my own roof. 

This evening’s staging of Turkeys on a Roof  was even more entertaining than the usual ground level episodes. I look forward to upcoming episodes of the unscripted adventures of Real Turkeys of South Gardner.

random thoughts – Day 2,342 (Thursday) – birthdays and such

My birthday has been dealt with in a number of ways over the years. My family has always acknowledged birthdays, no matter what. When we were little, my brother’s birthday (July) and mine (August) were celebrated together with a family party, often on a Sunday afternoon at Mummu’s apartment, with cousins from Mom’s side.

Significant birthdays got some drama. When I turned 13, I was visiting at Mummu’s until Mom said it was time to come home. It felt weird that I was at Mummu’s and I couldn’t just go home, but once home, I knew why. When someone finally picked me up, there was a surprise party and a ten-speed bike that was assembled while I was at Mummu’s. 

My Sweet 16 fell on Friday the 13^th. The plan was a pool party at our house and painting “The Rock” at the granite quarry where, in a tradition started in 1936, the senior class would traditionally paint their graduating year in red and white paint on the granite face of the big hill facing town. My friends and I would start our junior year that fall, so it was essentially an act of sabotage to go paint our year.

My parents weren’t fans of the rock painting idea, but somehow caved and bought some red paint for the job. My friends came over. There was a huge thunderstorm and my party became an indoor event with Dad, who was a freelance DJ, playing all the hit music in our dining room.

When I was turning 30, another surprise party was planned. At the time, X1 and I lived around the corner from Mom and the house I grew up in. X1 and I shared an office in the house and he used the big desk for work stuff, I used a smaller table for sewing. Usually, the only thing on the top of the very tidy desk was a phone and a calendar. On the weekend before my weekday birthday he had written “surp party” on the calendar which, of course, I saw. I finally asked if it was required I act surprised. It was supposed to be a cookout at Mom’s, but it poured and became another indoor house party.

Cake and ice cream, round two.

There were no surprises this year. Mom and my sister chatted in advance about going to lunch and then filled me in. We no longer ask “what do you want to do on your birthday,” because none of us want “a fuss” and will answer with “nothing!” The current (successful) system is to formulate a loose plan and then tell the birthday person, “we were thinking of X and/or Y for your birthday, unless you want to do something else.” Doing nothing is forbidden.

Today’s weather was sunny and warm and thunderstorm free. We decided on lunch at Gardner Ale House and then walking around downtown a bit, followed by cake and ice cream and Yahtzee at Mom’s. (Later, for supper, I had a second round of cake and ice cream.) 

The Ale House has a couple non-meat menu items which is twice as many as some places so I was afforded the luxury of being torn between the veggie burger and a veggie quinoa bowl instead of settling for the lone item on menus elsewhere. Mom had a burger, Sis had a roast beef sandwich, and everyone was happy with their food.

New tree in the kitchen.

After lunch we crossed Parker Street to visit a new shop featuring local artisans that opened about a week ago (TejvaB’s Treasure Chest Boutique) and another shop nearby (Happy Trails Natural Foods). They are both great little shops with lots of interesting stuff including décor and gift items. Need local honey or honey pollen? They’ve both got it. Cool decorator items? Covered. Jewelry or maybe some natural supplements? On it.

I bought a tree of life hanging piece with bells and now I have a lot bordering on possibly too much stuff hanging in the kitchen. We’ll see. Things can easily be moved. I possess the technology (hammer, nails).

In other exciting news – turkeys of all ages and genders paraded through the yard this morning. Also, there may be bear poop in my front yard (discovered this evening on a walkabout). Earlier in the summer there was definitely some in the back yard. Today’s suspicious material looks the same but is smaller.

random thoughts – Day 2,341 (Wednesday) – reach

Tendrils reaching out.

There were weird dreams this morning (again) which is usually the signal that I have slept too long. Sometimes the editor/narrator in my brain thinks “this is weird, it must be time to wake up.”  

Some of the latest weird morning dreams before waking have included themes and imagery from previous dreams. I’m trying to pack for a trip and my stuff has gone missing. I’m moving into a dorm-type building and can’t find my room or I find it and somebody else is already set up in my space. I'm at a big hotel with a maze of staircases, storage rooms, cafes, and lounges and can't find my way back to my room. I’m standing alone in the center of an empty room with beautiful wood floors and large windows. Some day I'll figure out what it means.

When I checked the time, still groggy with sleep, it was 8:12 and I thought, “hmmm 8:12 on 8/12” as if it was still a dream and this information was supposed to be significant. And I got out of bed.

There was a delicious fresh eggs and cheese breakfast burrito, followed by a shopping trip with Mom to Kohl’s. I found three purses I liked there and none of them had a price tag. It didn’t feel worth the effort and I put them back. I ended up getting a Cuddl Duds base layer shirt on clearance and using two Kohl’s cash certificates.

This afternoon I learned about the desire of the spaghetti squash plant to reach out and climb. The plant grew across the dirt until it reached the fencing intended to prevent me from accidentally mowing it down. Now, several dainty, curly tendrils have wrapped themselves around the garden fencing. In doing so,  the blossoms seem to now be more elevated from the ground. I should have done some research before plunking it into the ground and might have known a trellis or a plant cage would be helpful. Now I can't get one in place without ripping the tender supports.

random thoughts – Day 2,340 (Tuesday) – eggs and containers

Pretty colored egg shells.

A friend gave me a box of 16 fresh eggs the other day with shells in pretty shades of tan, pale green, and white. Today, I used half of them to make baked egg and cheese with broccoli and tomatoes.

Fresh eggs laid just a couple days ago crack so much easier than grocery store eggs laid who knows when and trucked in from who knows where. And they are so delicious. 

At least half of the transformed into a baked dish product will be set into containers and frozen, ready for the next cycle of I’m hungry, I don’t feel like cooking, and I need food now. At those times, the lifeline to sanity is usually a plastic container of deliciousness from the freezer. Within three to five minutes (depending upon contents) the frozen block has been returned to a hot and ready-to-eat state and peace settles over the land. It’s a wonderous thing.

Eggs transformed.

Most of my current freezer containers are reusable black takeout containers that were sent home with me from someone else’s home after a dinner. Once upon a time, my containers were fashionable and colorful collections of Tupperware, invented by Earl Tupper in nearby Leominster, MA. To some degree, the colors kept up with fashion and decorating trends. Mom’s Tupperware pieces, bought in the 1970s, were collections in olive, tan, orange, and gold and coordinated with our Corelle dinnerware in Spring Blossom Green (aka Crazy Daisy).

My Tupperware, from the 1980s, was a disjointed mishmash of the 70s sunset colors and 80s blue, gray, and mauve. During a divorce, we split up the Tupperware, even though I was the one who endured the sales parties at the homes of colleagues and paid for the stuff. Like with everything else I walked away from, I told myself it was a small price to pay to be free. I got two of the square sandwich keepers with aqua lids, he got the other two. We split up the drinking tumblers, the hamburger patty holders, and the storage sets. I still have some of it, all these decades later. None of them are the correct size for the rectangles of my baked egg and cheese, but the recently acquired take away containers are.

random thoughts – Day 2,339 (Monday) – circles

The cycle of laundry and household chores chugged along today. It is mystifying to me that, despite weekly vacuuming, I am still finding sewing pins in the rug. I’ve been plotting a couple projects in my head, but I haven’t pinned and sewn anything since before the show in June. Even so, two more straight pins were picked up today during the vacuuming. Another mystery is how there are what appears to be several bleach spots on my sheets, yet I don’t use bleach.

Genuine fake stone circle.

The circles and cycles of time and life took literal form after a trip to WalMart. I have been looking for garden bed edging and today, the website indicated there was some in the store near me so I took the one-mile journey to explore. I checked the outdoor outdoor section last week and found none. 

Today, armed with a product screen shot showing edging and the status “in stock” in case I needed help from a store employee, I started in the in-the-store outdoor section. After aisles of planters, hoses, and tools, I hit the jackpot. In an aisle shared with pool supplies, several styles of garden edging were found. Even better, several were marked down.

I bought two boxes of genuine fake plastic stone border section with stakes. Back at home, I set to work immediately and fashioned a circle of hollow plastic “stones” in a circle under the tree. Forming the circle was harder than I expected. The first effort was lopsided and looked more like an egg shape. It took a couple tries to even out the circle. I need to pull out some more grass.

While I was toiling, a couple neighbors paused to chat. It was fun, and also the most social activity my yard has seen since move-in day just over a year ago.

Imposter carrot cake.

After the yard labor, I set my sights on other circular items from WalMart. One was a tiny sweet potato pie in a brown box. The other was a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I love carrot cake. In recent years, I’ve been buying one during my birthday week. 

Tonight I learned that WalMart may choose to call it a carrot cake and bury it under icing with a frosting carrot on top, but the flavor is 100% spice cake and there is but a single carrot flake of texture in the thing. I will still eat the imposter carrot cake, and now I feel compelled to have a taste and texture comparison of the so-called carrot cakes from Hannaford, Price Chopper, and the not-so-nearby Market Basket, but that might just be the nerd in me looking for another way to make a chart.

random thoughts – Day 2,338 (Sunday) – roof and books

Finally, the roofer.

The contractor for my roof and siding project, in response to my messages about two known incidences of the bathroom ceiling leaking during/after rain storms in the past two weeks, had said he would be over last Monday. At 5:00 pm on Monday, the contractor texted that the roofer would be here on Tuesday, but "the time was still being worked out." I don’t know where he came from, but the roofer and his chariot finally rolled up this morning, four days later than expected. I'm glad I wasn't holding my breath. 

After he leaned a ladder against the house, I went outside to show him the end of the house experiencing the issue and took him inside to show him the exact location. I don’t think there would have been any communication with me otherwise.

I also showed him the front section where the water flows off the roof at an angle and runs down the bedroom window and literally into the bedroom when the window is open. He said some metal piece up on the face of the house is warped and recommended gutters. I guess I shouldn't have tossed out the mailer from a gutter company that came a couple weeks ago. Oops.

Roofer guy went onto the roof with a tube of something and I could hear him walking around. There was some banging. He cast a shadow over the kitchen skylight that I could see from the couch. Whatever went on up there didn’t take very long and then he was gone without a word. There has been no follow up from the contractor since the text last Monday.

My summer 2026 salvation.

I spent the day finishing reading a John Grisham novel (A Painted House) I got it a couple days ago from the Little Library Box. It is some quality storytelling and I really enjoyed it. I returned it to the book box today, along with The Great Gatsby, which I read last week. The book box is so full I had to take two more books out in order to fit my returns in. That book box is turning out to be my summer of 2026 best friend and has turned the past couple months into the best staycation ever. It's exactly the sort of summer activity I loved when I was a kid and have been wanting to relive for ages. So far, so good.

random thoughts – Day 2,337 (Saturday) – day watch

Prepping for action.

There are some days where the turkeys are the most exciting thing going in the neighborhood, but this morning offered up some larger action that was interesting. 

The snow-blowing guy across the street from Mom had a digger across the driveway and a dump truck rumbling in the front yard at 8:30 this morning. The noise was just loud enough to be too much to ignore during the coffee drinking hour so of course I watched out my living room window. Whatever was happening looked expensive with two drivers and two rigs.

I called Mom for an unrelated topic, and she said she had something for me so I went next door right away, coffee cup in hand. The view of the heavy equipment action was better and like the couple of covert snoops we are, we watched out Mom's laundry room window as the equipment was put to work. At first, it was hard to tell what was the object of the activity and I thought maybe the driveway would be attacked by the digger thing, but the digger moved to the other side of the truck. As huge blobs of dirt with roots sticking out in every direction were lowered from the digger to the dump truck we saw it was the removal of the root balls of the previously chopped shrubs/hedges/green things that once stood in front of the house.

I imagine that is what I would be facing should I decide to rid myself of the overgrown greenery in front of my own house. It looks expensive, but I don’t know the neighbor well enough to text and ask how much it cost. I might, however, inquire about the contractor so I arrange to get my own price. That seems less invasive/nosey, and is the real reason I want to know.

random thoughts – Day 2,336 (Friday) – talking turkey

Two turkeys and a bunny.

Weeks of evening walks have revealed the patterns of the neighborhood. Between six and seven in the evening, the four male turkeys congregate in the yards two streets over from mine. The last few times I’ve seen them has been in the same section of the street. They are usually in a cluster, pausing in a yard, before moving on to the next one, but tonight, there were only three of them clustered in a yard.

As the three began to spread out across the yard, I noticed a little brown bunny, frozen still under a bush in the same yard, as if in a game of hide and seek. I wondered what would happen if the turkeys spotted the bunny. 

One time last year, a cat was lounging under a bush in my back yard along with a group of turkeys and none seemed bothered by the presence of the others and I am curious if the bunnies and turkeys share the same camaraderie.

The turkey and the chrome.

I kept walking and finally spotted the fourth turkey in a driveway across the street from the rest, near the back of a silver-gray Tacoma. It seemed to be admiring itself in the shiny chrome. It took a step or two away, then returned to the chrome corner. As I got closer, it pecked its reflection in the chrome. There were a couple more sidesteps and pauses at the reflection and then it sauntered off, away from me and towards the direction of its friends.

Meanwhile, the other three turkeys had gathered on a hill across the street and seemed to be watching the whole show. It seems, even in the turkey social world, there is always that one weird friend.

random thoughts – Day 2,335 (Thursday) – bowl of cherries

A morning round of the plants was made. The newly set plants out front were looking good. Someday, after the siding is done, there will be plants on the side of the house to check. It was a delight to see the tiny little baby spaghetti squash still on the vine. The feeling was short lived. I touched it, and it immediately fell off, and just like that, I had become a baby squash murderer. Damn.

After the squash murder, the rest of the day was quiet. Nothing to report except the weather, which was warm and a touch humid. There was nothing on the calendar.

None of the items on the to-do list were even thought about. Mostly I sat around embracing the “life is a bowl of cherries” expression and eating cherries and reading. For days, I’ve been eating cherries by the bowlfull. They have been very delicious the past three or four weeks. As I dipped into my evening bowl of cherries, I noticed the crystal bowl had cracks. What, what? How did this happen? Not to worry, I have six or seven more of them, but I still wonder why and how. Maybe it’s punishment for the squash murder.

random thoughts – Day 2,334 (Wednesday) – holes

New baby spaghetti squash.

Another beautiful day meant another morning working in the yard. Out back, something is still chewing on the basil leaves and I suspect the earwigs. The spaghetti squash plant from my sister produced a couple tiny squashes, but something ate both of them. There is no suspect identified in this crime. There is a new tiny squash but if history holds, it won’t last long.

Out front, holes were prepared to receive plants. A few ferns that had sprung up against the back of the house were transplanted in the ring under the tree out front. Some purple clover things that had escaped Mom’s front flower bed and invaded the lawn were dug up and relocated under the tree. The plan is to keep expanding the circle around the tree with one or two more rings as plants come along.

The tree ring.

On the way back from grocery shopping, there was a stop at WalMart to see if the plants area had been reset. There were racks of fresh new flowers including mums in several sizes and I got a tray of ten cute little mums for $1.44 each. Back at home, the two new flower boxes each received dirt, three holes, and three little mums, and the area under the tree got the rest. Tomorrow I will harvest some of the plentiful dried needles from under the hedges and use them as mulch under the tree. 

Also on the list will be getting ground cover plants for the slope between my yard and Mom’s to reduce some of the mowing, and some dirt and gravel to fill in the area along the concrete slab in the back of the house that has been pummeled by the rain.

Filling holes with plants and dirt felt pretty good, but it didn’t do much to fill the brother shaped hole in my heart on  this, the fifth anniversary of his death. At least the yard will look nice.

random thoughts – Day 2,333 (Tuesday) – fresh new day

Curly bark tree.

The rain moved out and the fresh new day was clear and sunny. The dew on the lawn and the bushes  sparkled. Despite the morning light creeping in the bedroom, I slept late again this morning. It looks like 8:00 is my new 6:30.

The extra sleep had me feeling peppy, and at 10:45, instead of the more sedentary grocery shopping task, I was out front digging out more grass from around the tree with the curly in the front yard so I could set some plants Mom wants thinned from her front flower bed. Halfway through the grass removal, I remembered Mom usually goes out with her friend on Tuesdays. I finished the digging, but I’ll get the plants tomorrow.

Later, there was a search of the websites of nearby retailers for garden edging. Ollie’s in Fitchburg seemed to have it, so a stop was planned there after dance class. On the way to dance, I stopped at Dollar General. Which has yard stuff was on sale, but there was no edging found in the store, which is being taken over by Halloween décor.

Dance was a small group with four of us. It was fun. We changed the barre routine up a bit, then did the usual center work and ran through some of the repertoire. We use decades-old recordings of the original music that were done by our studio pianist. It was very cool back in the day, having our classes accompanied by a pianist. She could slow down the pace of the music until we knew the choreography well enough to be up to speed.

The first ballet studio I danced with used records for everything, including some of the basic technique. The voice on the record would announce things like “piqué turns, diagonally across the floor, continuously” and we would execute the moves across the black and white tiled floor while our teacher watched. When I was in high school and at what is still my favorite dance studio, the only activity we did to records was our initial warmup and stretching, which was led by a studio assistant to provide time for our teacher and pianist to have a quick break.

There was a wildflower tour outside of our dance space (which I forgot about). Unlike the last wildflower walk, which was rainy, the weather was perfect today, but I stuck to the original timeline with stops for gas and then Ollie’s. There were a lot of patio chairs, hoses, and planters, but I couldn’t find edging (despite circling the yard stuff for several laps) or even a store worker to help me. I got bargain grocery items including microwave rice, hot sauce, canned tuna, cinnamon, and cookies, plus pain patches, makeup wipes, and two window box planters. No target item, but still a productive stop.

random thoughts – Day 2,332 (Monday) – weather and whining

The monsoons arrived with heavy rain overnight and woke me up a couple times. At 3:00 a.m., I woke up and went through the house lowering or fully closing windows. The worst awakening was at 4:45 a.m. when the rain was blowing in through the bedroom window. The refreshing spray on my face through the three-inch gap where the window was open may be what awakened me. Then I worried about the bathroom fan/vent that leaked last week and got up. The bathroom was dry.

Bathroom water entry point.

By 8:30, I had finished a book, drank coffee, and patrolled the house for leaks and it felt like I’d already lived half a day. I made a grocery list. As I prepared for departure to the mailbox to mail a card, the little library box for a book exchange, and the grocery store for provisions, I thought I heard dripping in the otherwise silent house. The bathroom floor had developed a puddle as water came through the fan/vent. The roofing contractor was contacted.  The floor was mopped and a wastebasket set under the drip site.

I made it to the mailbox and library box, and then turned back towards home. Interest in grocery shopping had suddenly diminished to zero and was postponed until “later.” A forage of the freezer unearthed a bagel which was toasted to accompany a fried egg with a calcium boosting slice of sharp cheddar, and it was good.

It poured. The sun shone feebly then disappeared again. The rain exhibited extremes from soft and gentle like a romantic perfume commercial and power washing torrents that could cause bodily harm. I read on the couch (The Great Gatsby). Social media was awash in photos of extreme weather on both coasts with flooded streets locally and wildfires in Washington state.

Because the grocery store trip never happened, and I was expecting the roofing contractor, supper was a quick meal of ramen, the reliable staple of my pantry. The slightly less reliable contractor with a confusing message about 320 windows on another job and after deciphering the rambling essay, I concluded he would not be coming to check the bathroom ceiling leak situation

By 6:30, the sun was shining here and the puddles outside were shrinking and the one inside was contained to a wastebasket. The air was cool while I walked around the neighborhood. It was almost as if none of the crazy weather had happened at all.

random thoughts – Day 2,331 (Sunday) – excavating

Life in a box, 2025.

It was apparently a great morning for sleeping because I woke up mostly refreshed and a bit confused a good two hours later than usual. I didn’t stay up extra late. It had been a quiet day at home.  I had thought about reaching out to friends to see if anyone was interested in the Saturday night concert in the park event, but then I got super tired and fell asleep on the couch and suddenly it was too late. I read before bed. Nothing unusual, except for the nap, and somehow I overslept this morning. So weird.

Anyway. One year ago today, my friends and I kicked butt and emptied the moving cube. The emptying of my life in a box took just a few hours, because basically we emptied the cube like it was a race. We piled everything in the house, to be opened and dealt with later. Rugs and large furniture were set, but the rest of it wasn’t the sort of thing where help was helpful. How could I tell someone where to put stuff from a box when I had no idea myself?

Today, I hung a couple more art pieces in what seems to be my now characteristic super slow motion, prolonged decorating process. A photo freshly delivered from the recent Lowellscapes show went on a wall in the guest room which is still slightly cluttered with luggage and a couple unpacked boxes. There is now one less framed photo on the dining room table. I will celebrate the progress while simultaneously mourning the fact that the table was cleared for less than 24 hours.

Korean calligraphy brush and mat on a wall.

While standing in the alleged art room, I spotted the paper towel tube labeled “calligraphy brush” on a bookshelf and removed the contents. It’s a calligraphy brush I bought in Korea in 2000 or 2001. It came with a blue and tan mat made out of the material of a sushi rolling mat and used in some placemats. I had forgotten about the mat. I had forgotten about the brush. At first I thought it was the small parasol, also from Korea, which has lived in a tube the same length of time as the calligraphy brush and also the larger parasol.

It has lived, wrapped in red tissue paper inside a paper towel tube since I bought it. The brush, with the mat behind it, now has a home on a wall near the mirror that X2 bought for me from an antique store in Korea for Christmas of 2000. Somewhere, still in an unpacked box in the house, is a padded box with a mah jongg set also bought in Korea, which hasn’t seen the light of day since 2001. The excavations will continue. Maybe tomorrow.

random thoughts – Day 2,330 (Saturday) – house anniversary

One year anniversary of the house.

One year ago today, I closed on the house in Gardner and it’s been a very fast year. Things have been done (new bathroom vent/fans, new access doors for the crawlspace, new roof). Things are waiting to be done (new siding, new exterior lights, finishing the guest room). The list of improvements is still long, but that is all part of owning a house. Things were thought of and procrastinated into oblivion (housewarming party, naming the house). 

The residents of the neighborhood, both human and animal, are quiet. The turkeys, bunnies, and outdoor cats move through the yards in silent ninja mode. The major noise makers are generally the squawking crows, the lawn mowers, and on Mondays, the trash truck. 

The environment is a refreshing change from the bigger city cacophony of sirens and loud neighbors yelling over booming music. It’s been a mostly good and peaceful year.