random thoughts – Day 2,187 (Friday) – ruins

Roman ruins, March 2023.

Three years ago on this date (March 13), four friends and I were in Rome. Usually, we traveled together to resort hotels on beaches with buffets, restaurants, beverage plans, and waiters who delivered to the chaise lounges on the beach. In Rome, we stayed in a lovely hotel located a short walk from Trevi Fountain. The Coliseum was down the street. Ruins were everywhere, nestled between buildings. 

We walked for hours every day, exploring the city’s ruins, museums, churches, cafes, and restaurants. We took day trips to Pompeii and Tivoli and learned that hotel-booked tours pick you up at your hotel and bring you to the site, but they don’t necessarily bring you back where they picked you up (or at all). We drank coffee, Aperol Spritzes, and lovely wines and ate pizza, fresh pasta, pastries and gelato. There were grotto restaurants and sidewalk cafes. The hotel breakfast area had a view of the nearby rooftops. It was wonderful.

What a difference three years makes. Back then, I had a decent amount of vacation time and a decent salary that led me to the strategic decision to to endure a dead-end job for several more years because retirement age was creeping closer and starting over somewhere else would likely mean less vacation time. Then, last year, the merger swooped in and snatched away the job I was willing to tolerate. And nine months after the layoff, I’m still trying to start over and find another job in a market crowded with new graduates and hundreds of other experienced, laid off professionals. Advertised roles with my former job title include the responsibilities handled by three or four people on my old team and pay half the salary. Breaking into a new area seems even more impossible.

At Trevi Fountain, March 2023.

The stress of the past year has loomed large and overshadowed any fun stuff. Luckily, I have photos to prove to myself I used to be a visible, productive member of society who sometimes traveled instead of the feral remnant of that person who now looks for a job, tries to not spend money, and sometimes gets stuck dwelling on the ruins of a former life. 

Maybe I need to return to Trevi Fountain and make a better wish. I’m pretty sure in 2023 I wished for dumb shit like romance and happiness (and that hasn't worked out), but maybe I should have wished for financial stability and a job that lasted until full retirement age. Live and learn.

random thoughts – Day 2,186 (Thursday) – progress

Receding snowline.

It wasn’t as warm today as recent days, but it was still above freezing and the snow continued to melt. Behind my house, the snow on the small hill is receding like a middle-aged hairline and is free of snow at the top. 

Even with all the snowfall this year, it looks like it will be drought conditions again this spring/summer. I read an article recently that said the groundwater table is reported to still be low and it has to do with the speed of the snow melting and running off the ground instead of melting into the ground. Or something like that. I'm not exactly a scientist or an environmentalist and sometimes I half-read articles and learn just enough to be dangerous. I guess I won't be launching my home car wash or laundry service this year, either. Phew.

I managed to miss out on engaging with nature during the past two warm, springlike days. I was shopping and lunching one day, and stress sweating in a dentist chair for a chunk of the next day. Today, in weather that was 30 degrees cooler than a few days ago, I walked to get the mail. It’s the second time I have walked to the mailbox since last fall (but who is counting?). 

The snowbanks have melted back, the street is its full width again, and it wasn’t wet or windy or sub-zero temperatures, so I laced up my sneakers, put on a coat, hat, and gloves, and walked. My neck was cold because I recklessly thought I wouldn’t need a scarf, and that made me walk quickly so I could get back to the warmth of the house.

The only mail today was the replacement sunglass clip ordered from the company I bought glasses from a few years ago. I lost the original sunglass clip a year ago, and despite my fantasies of finding it under the seat in my car or in a tote bag or a coat pocket, it hasn’t turned up. Every sunny day I would mourn the loss of the clip on shades and I finally caved and ordered a new one. This means I'll probably find the old one any second now.

Working on the 4" x 4" canvas.

And after a month of overthinking, procrastinating, and searching through images, yesterday I finally started my 4” by 4” canvas for the art auction at The Brush Gallery in a couple weeks. The outside edges of the canvas were painted black. Today, the final selection of the photo for the front was made. Even though the photo had originally been printed at the correct size, it was a smidge longer on one edge and required trimming of about 1/32 of an inch which I labored over for far too long.  Apparently, I like to torture myself with such details and knew I wouldn't sleep for a week if I didn't trim it. Now it just needs three or four coats of Mod Podge to seal it all and I can deliver it next week.

random thoughts – Day 2,185 (Wednesday) – teeth and mood

After waking up with some coffee and Wordle, at 10:00 this morning I called the dentist. The temporary crown that broke off Tuesday night while eating cheese had not miraculously regenerated overnight to be whole again. The best case scenario I hoped for was that the permanent crown, ordered last week and scheduled for delivery next week, had already come in from the lab. The December crown had arrived from the lab in a week, so I knew it wasn’t totally unreasonable.

Luck was with me, the crown was in, and I was booked for a 12:00 appointment. Sometimes when things in my world go sideways, they at least have the decency to have favorable timing. At departure time, a paperback book went into my bag in case there was a wait, and I hit the road.

I was barely one page into my book when the dental assistant called my name. There were x-rays, poking, prodding, and the removal of the remainder of the temporary crown. My gums were poked, prodded, and pushed up to accommodate the margins of the crown. The new crown was ready to go in. There were several attempts, a lot of fussing and minor drilling. It didn’t fit. The scanner wand, which is too big for my mouth, was stuffed in there anyway for more 3D images. My jaw ached.

In the end, a new temporary crown was installed. A new permanent crown was ordered. It was another two-hour episode in the dental chair before I was released. I felt like I’d been punched in the head and dragged behind a truck. My dental misadventures are starting to feel like a boring mini-series.

From the dentist I went to my favorite gas station to top off the tank, where the gas that was $2.999 last Wednesday was $3.199 today. Then I headed home. I was hungry and my stomach was rumbling. A Friendly Fribble seemed like just the thing to soothe my mouth and fill my stomach so I stopped at Friendly’s and got one.

The dental appointment was draining. My gums ached and throbbed. I felt cold and sat on the couch like a potato for most of the afternoon, still in my outdoor jacket. By suppertime, I perked up a bit and took off the jacket. An Aldi store brand frozen pizza was heated. It was hard to eat on one side of my mouth, but I wasn’t risking offending the already abused other side of my mouth with crunchy edges. It’s finally starting to feel better than earlier today. Tomorrow it will feel better.

Snow melting.

The recent warm temperatures have been appreciated. It was 66 degrees on Tuesday, and 56 degrees today. It has led to some snowmelt in the back yard, with patches of earth and rocks showing. Seeing the fallen leaves and the rocks lightened my mood.  Next up in the mood improving department is the the Love is Blind: Ohio season reunion on Netflix. Every little bit helps.

random thoughts – Day 2,184 (Tuesday) – sunshine and monkey wrench

It was a pleasant day with a cloud-free blue sky, sunshine, and warm temperatures. The best part might have been not hearing the furnace kick on a million times. 

New books!

Another bright spot was spending time with Mom and Sis. We went to Dollar Tree, where we each stocked up on greeting cards among other budget friendly items like toilet paper, paper towels and aluminum foil. I overshot my shopping list when I hit the aisle with books for $1.50. I got four books including one by Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles, and a cookbook I chose when I flipped through it and saw the recipe for Shredded Cabbage Fritters.

After Dollar Tree we went real old school and went to Friendly’s for lunch. Yes, Gardner still has a Friendly’s. It has been decades since the last time I was in a Friendly’s. We each got a Fishamajig®, and it is still delicious. The accompanying fries were the perfect level of crispness. The Happy Ending Sundaes had creamy ice cream and hot fudge. I hope it’s not a million years before I go there again.

Tuesday's dance space.

Dance group was productive. We meet in a space in a church, with a decent wood floor and a stage. Tonight we worked on four group dances for our June show which is in the same space we practice in. The dances are coming along nicely. To make up for the bad weather cancellation last week we went a half-hour longer tonight and will do so again next week.

Overall, it was a great day, at least until a monkey wrench was tossed into the works. I decided to have some provolone cheese for an evening snack, and wouldn’t you know it, the temporary crown that required 2.5 hours in the dentist chair last Wednesday broke. On cheese. What. The. Heck. What remains is jagged and feels gross. The permanent crown is supposed to be done next Wednesday. I guess I’ll be calling the dentist in the morning.

random thoughts – Day 2,183 (Monday) – another OCD day

Tarnished.

Another day, another variety of activities and annoyances. At 8:30 this morning, there was a call from an 800-number that has called several times in recent weeks, with no messages left. Curious, I answered, and it was someone claiming to be from Comcast/Xfinity. From the start it felt scammy. First, there was dead air when I answered the phone and it took a few seconds before there was a click and then a voice on the line. The caller, in a heavily accented voice, said they had been notified of a security alert with my internet connection. They asked if I was at home.

It felt shady and I responded that the call felt like a scam and I was hanging up. I checked the phone number online and it’s been frequently reported over several years as a scam that spoofs a Comcast 800-number and attempts to get banking info. I knew it felt off. Maybe I should have stayed on the line and consumed the scammer's time to allow less time for calling other people. Maybe next time I'll think of it.

Cleaned up and shiny.

Much of the day was spent cleaning and mending the second coin belt. This one went a couple hours faster than Sunday’s coin belt marathon cleaning project because this belt had fewer coins in the larger size, and is made entirely of metal parts with no beads that needed to be avoided. 

The coins were quite tarnished and my hands were black with grime until it occurred to me to wear gloves, which I bought for doing tie-dying. Duh. This would have saved my poor fingers yesterday. The second belt now looks shiny and new. Once I get some jump rings and another OCD episode I will clean up and mend the remaining belt.

It was warm today, but my only encounter with the great outdoors was when I rolled the trash bin to the curb and then took it back up the driveway a couple hours later. There were birds singing their little hearts out this morning in the bushes out front and it was nice to hear them. It will be nice when spring settles in.

random thoughts – Day 2,182 (Sunday) – manual labor

On Saturday, I bought three previously used metal coin belts and several other dance costume elements from another dancer. When metal coin belts are worn for dance class or in performances, connecting jump rings can get loose and time tends to cause the metal components to tarnish.

On Sunday, after driving to dance group in dense fog that felt like the setting for a Stephen King story, then returning home in much clearer conditions, I set to work mending the belts. This is exactly the kind of project to grab my attention and hold it for hours. More than six hours today, to be a bit more exact.

I consulted a couple sources online for guidance on how to clean the metal belts. I checked the instructions on the Barkeepers Friend I used to clean my dance zills to a brilliant shine a couple weeks ago. Then, I set up shop in the living room with the jewelry pliers, some jump rings, a couple old towels and wash cloths, a bowl of water, and the Barkeepers. The latest season of Love is Blind played on the TV for company and chances to randomly yell at participants.

One down, two more to go.

The first belt features more than 130 beaded strands (yes, I counted) with a metal coin at end of each one. The top edge of the belt is constructed of a metal underlayment with small coins attached on the front. Each and every one of the coins on the belt was individually cleaned and taken from a brassy orangey tone to a softer golden tone. There is no faster way I know of to have it come out consistently cleaner. It took all afternoon, and another couple hours after a supper break for some soup.

The process of cleaning was a great way to see where jump rings were detached or missing and fix or replace them. The belt was also too long, so I removed a couple of the beaded strands to shorten it and used the beads to repair some strands that had beads missing.

A second belt was examined to determine what repairs (and supplies) are needed. Mostly, it needs about a dozen jump rings replaced to reconnect the under layer, some medallions reattached, and to be cleaned up. This will require buying jump rings in a size I don't have on hand. The third belt needs the coins cleaned and to be shortened. 

My fingers now need some time to heal from the manual labor and abuse of hours of rubbing hundreds of coins with a damp terry cloth towel and then drying them. Then I can move to the other belts and the construction of a coin bra before choosing a fresh, not yet discovered, temporary obsession to occupy my time and keep me from boring household chores like vacuuming rugs, alphabetizing the spice cabinet, and arranging for service on the dryer that has become an amusement park ride for the clothes that now come out well tumbled and still damp.

random thoughts – Day 2,181 (Saturday) – fancy late night

The day began with an unconventional breakfast of the rice and black bean concoction that was Friday’s lunch and supper. When I get on a food kick I tend to ride it to the end.

A friend picked me up a short time later so we could meet with a dancer to shop a treasure trove of costume components and accessories and specifically saris which we can use to make other costumes. We returned to our homes with armloads of dance coin belts, trims, veils, jewelry, and saris. 

Back at home, there was time to relax for a minute before dressing for the night's museum gala, which was made easier than usual by having planned the outfit on the dress form earlier in the week. In the past, there would be a mental list of potential outfit ideas and I would wait until the day of an event to check my mood, try on a slew of outfits, and have a full-blown case of panic before deciding what to wear. This new way felt a lot more civilized. A couple times in years past, I attended events on behalf of the bank as a fill-in for someone who couldn’t make it and didn’t know I was attending until the day of the event, so the outfit timing wasn't always my fault. It could get a little crazy, especially if it was a themed event, but it was always fun.

It was crowded in the gallery
during the remarks.

Tonight’s night out in society was Fitchburg Art Museum’s 100^th Anniversary celebration, and the galleries are stuffed floor to ceiling with works from their extensive collection. The old art mixed with the new and made for a colorful and eclectic exhibit that included paintings by Eleanor Norcross, the founder of the museum. The wall colors in the galleries are painted gorgeous deep greens and blues and the art really pops on the walls. 

"Whimsical."

People dressed up for the event and attire included tuxedo with cummerbund; many sequin-crusted dresses, tops, and jackets; long dresses; dress pants; neck ties and bow ties with suits. It is exactly the sort of attire I love. 

I opted to embrace the “colorful” and “kaleidoscope” terms in the event description and wore a chiffon ruffled skirt, light pink sparkling boots, a purple sequin top and hip scarf, and a multicolor kimono-type robe, and topped it all with a multicolor fascinator. Not to brag (ha!) but one guy liked my boots, five people said they liked my "headpiece," and one museum staffer said I had “the most whimsical outfit of the night.” Thank you indeed. I saw a couple dancer friends and a former bank colleague and it was fun to chat and catch up.

The catering was a colorful array of fruits, vegetables, cheeses, cold cuts, crackers, bread, hummus and dips, along with passed hors d’oeuvres including homemade waffle bites with blackberries and cream, guava empanadas, Thai chicken skewers, and crostini. The desserts featured brownies, thick cookies, and cannoli. It was all tasty and I’m pretty sure I tasted it all.

There was an interactive art wall which involved pulling a tile from a jar and drawing the image from the tile onto a card and hanging it on a grid marked on the wall to create a much larger artwork. My friends and I all got into the colored pencils and got busy.  It was a cool idea and really fun.

One of the interactive art walls.

The event ended at 9:00 which was perfect. My friends and I traded stories about what a typical (non-gala) evening would look like and in all cases, it involved being in comfortable clothes on our respective couches by 7:30 and mentally preparing for bed. We joked out being awake and out “so late.” But we were glad to be dressed up and mingling with other fancy folks, looking at art, and eating fancy food.

It’s funny how the concept of “late” changes with age. In our 20s, we would just be getting ready to go out at 9:00 and now at that hour we are ready to head home and are plotting exits. Sleeping “late” when I was younger meant noon or early afternoon, and now I feel like I’m getting up late if it’s after 7:00 a.m.