random thoughts – Day 2,345 (Sunday) – screws and loss

Screws. 

Fourteen years ago today, I lost a few screws. (Unleash the loose screw comments. Go ahead, I’ll wait.)

The screws were in my left leg – two at the knee, two at the ankle, and were inserted the previous October with the rod that was set in my shinbone (tibia, if you want to be all correct about it). The fibula also snapped, but it never got any attention during the rebuild. 

I could see the screws under my skin and it grossed me out, so when the surgeon said they could be removed, my response was along the lines of “ok, great, can we do it right now?” Unfortunately, it was not like adding a manicure to the pedicure appointment and required planning and scheduling and transportation coordination due to factors like anesthesia.

I miss these guys.

Once removed, the screws were set into a screw top container (ha, ha) and I took them home. My morbid self had asked for them and I was surprised (and slightly freaked out) at how long they are. They are currently still in the container and somewhere in the house, but it might take some digging to locate them.

While I relaxed on the couch after the quick procedure during which I enjoyed a satisfying drug-induced nap, Moose and Winston, my constant companions, kept me company. I really miss those little guys. 

It stinks that great pets can’t live forever or at least as long as we humans live. Moose shepherded me through a breakup and the immediate aftermath of the broken leg, and Winston joined us several months after the leg injury and added his flavor of support.

The screws are gone from the leg, and so is my full trust in my leg. It’s great for walking, casual hiking, and even belly dance, but those don’t involve jumping or anything even remotely strenuous. This summer’s weekly ballet class has illuminated my lack of trust in my left leg (and ankle) for leaps of any flavor. Leaps used to be my thing. Some of my dancer friends were amazing at spins and holding long poses with an amazing elevation of a leg, and I loved the hang time in a leap and often received the teacher feedback of “great push off” when we did grand jetes across the back of the room. 

In dance, it was leaps, and in roller derby we had to jump over objects while skating to pass our skills test. Now, I barely trust myself to do a tiny hop over a crack. The broken leg broke my spirit. I’ve known it for a while, but it’s become shockingly obvious to me lately. I gained a titanium rod and lost the bold and zesty version of myself I was before it happened. It’s been gone so long now I don’t know if it’s possible to get even a sliver of it back.

random thoughts – Day 2,344 (Saturday) – water, sunshine, and food

Rippling pool water.

The forecast was for nice weather and that was good because it was the day of one my belly dance groups pool party pot luck. Dance bestie picked me up and we headed to the destination -- a lovely backyard oasis with a pool, massive dining countertop, beautiful plantings, and lots of seating.

We live in several different towns and some of us hadn’t seen each other since our show on June 16^th which now feels like a very long time ago. In September we will start our classes again, in a new venue as the old place was sold. That has been the situation with both dance groups I’ve been in over the past couple years.

It was a bit cool and cloudy at the start of our gathering which made it comfortable and perfect for eating. There was so much food we could have fed the navy with salads of the vegetable, bean, pasta and antipasta varieties; assorted veggies and fruits; multiple varieties of hummus; lemonade and iced teas; and desserts. So many desserts, including carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting made by dance bestie to continue the celebration of my birthday earlier in the week. The carrot cake cupcakes were far superior to the store-bought carrot cake earlier in the week.

Poolside prettiness.

The water rippled and sparkled in the pool. After a couple people went in the water and came back out, the clouds split up and scattered and the sun came out stronger. I’m not really a pool person (the chlorine wreaks havoc with my skin) and was content to sit at the edge of the pool with my feet in the water.

We sat in the shade near a tall pink variety of hydrangea (I had to look it up in PlantNet) and chatted. During the afternoon our multifaceted group covered all the important topics -- food, a couple local murders, looking for houses, state police department horses, an upcoming dance show, various styles of dance classes, children and grandchildren, sleep and waking up, knee problems and surgeries, and a thousand other things. It was fun.

The evening walk was taken earlier than usual and it was quiet. There were none of the usual critters and very few people in sight at 5:30. A cookout was underway at one house and the smell of smoke filled the air.  After walking off the caloric equivalent of one potato chip from the afternoon party, I dove into some bean salad, followed by carrot cake muffins. Life was extra good today.

random thoughts – Day 2,343 (Friday) – turkey antics

Today’s new and exciting episode of Real Turkeys of South Gardner opened with the females with poults parading on my street. The one with the four littles and the one with the teenage turkey reappeared around 2:30 this afternoon and traversed the yards on both sides of the pavement.

During my evening walk I was surprised to not see the four males who nearly always congregate two streets over. I was hoping to see the one turkey dude eyeballing himself in the truck chrome again, but the truck sat in the driveway, ignored.

Turkeys on a Roof.

Instead, a few houses down the street from the Tundra with chrome, there was an odd sound up high and that is when I finally spotted the four males. They stood along the peak of the roof of a house as the sun sank lower. Against a backdrop of trees, they strutted and posed like sculptures and shifted around and one even shoved another one. Now I wonder if there have been turkeys on my own roof. 

This evening’s staging of Turkeys on a Roof  was even more entertaining than the usual ground level episodes. I look forward to upcoming episodes of the unscripted adventures of Real Turkeys of South Gardner.

random thoughts – Day 2,342 (Thursday) – birthdays and such

My birthday has been dealt with in a number of ways over the years. My family has always acknowledged birthdays, no matter what. When we were little, my brother’s birthday (July) and mine (August) were celebrated together with a family party, often on a Sunday afternoon at Mummu’s apartment, with cousins from Mom’s side.

Significant birthdays got some drama. When I turned 13, I was visiting at Mummu’s until Mom said it was time to come home. It felt weird that I was at Mummu’s and I couldn’t just go home, but once home, I knew why. When someone finally picked me up, there was a surprise party and a ten-speed bike that was assembled while I was at Mummu’s. 

My Sweet 16 fell on Friday the 13^th. The plan was a pool party at our house and painting “The Rock” at the granite quarry where, in a tradition started in 1936, the senior class would traditionally paint their graduating year in red and white paint on the granite face of the big hill facing town. My friends and I would start our junior year that fall, so it was essentially an act of sabotage to go paint our year.

My parents weren’t fans of the rock painting idea, but somehow caved and bought some red paint for the job. My friends came over. There was a huge thunderstorm and my party became an indoor event with Dad, who was a freelance DJ, playing all the hit music in our dining room.

When I was turning 30, another surprise party was planned. At the time, X1 and I lived around the corner from Mom and the house I grew up in. X1 and I shared an office in the house and he used the big desk for work stuff, I used a smaller table for sewing. Usually, the only thing on the top of the very tidy desk was a phone and a calendar. On the weekend before my weekday birthday he had written “surp party” on the calendar which, of course, I saw. I finally asked if it was required I act surprised. It was supposed to be a cookout at Mom’s, but it poured and became another indoor house party.

Cake and ice cream, round two.

There were no surprises this year. Mom and my sister chatted in advance about going to lunch and then filled me in. We no longer ask “what do you want to do on your birthday,” because none of us want “a fuss” and will answer with “nothing!” The current (successful) system is to formulate a loose plan and then tell the birthday person, “we were thinking of X and/or Y for your birthday, unless you want to do something else.” Doing nothing is forbidden.

Today’s weather was sunny and warm and thunderstorm free. We decided on lunch at Gardner Ale House and then walking around downtown a bit, followed by cake and ice cream and Yahtzee at Mom’s. (Later, for supper, I had a second round of cake and ice cream.) 

The Ale House has a couple non-meat menu items which is twice as many as some places so I was afforded the luxury of being torn between the veggie burger and a veggie quinoa bowl instead of settling for the lone item on menus elsewhere. Mom had a burger, Sis had a roast beef sandwich, and everyone was happy with their food.

New tree in the kitchen.

After lunch we crossed Parker Street to visit a new shop featuring local artisans that opened about a week ago (TejvaB’s Treasure Chest Boutique) and another shop nearby (Happy Trails Natural Foods). They are both great little shops with lots of interesting stuff including décor and gift items. Need local honey or honey pollen? They’ve both got it. Cool decorator items? Covered. Jewelry or maybe some natural supplements? On it.

I bought a tree of life hanging piece with bells and now I have a lot bordering on possibly too much stuff hanging in the kitchen. We’ll see. Things can easily be moved. I possess the technology (hammer, nails).

In other exciting news – turkeys of all ages and genders paraded through the yard this morning. Also, there may be bear poop in my front yard (discovered this evening on a walkabout). Earlier in the summer there was definitely some in the back yard. Today’s suspicious material looks the same but is smaller.

random thoughts – Day 2,341 (Wednesday) – reach

Tendrils reaching out.

There were weird dreams this morning (again) which is usually the signal that I have slept too long. Sometimes the editor/narrator in my brain thinks “this is weird, it must be time to wake up.”  

Some of the latest weird morning dreams before waking have included themes and imagery from previous dreams. I’m trying to pack for a trip and my stuff has gone missing. I’m moving into a dorm-type building and can’t find my room or I find it and somebody else is already set up in my space. I'm at a big hotel with a maze of staircases, storage rooms, cafes, and lounges and can't find my way back to my room. I’m standing alone in the center of an empty room with beautiful wood floors and large windows. Some day I'll figure out what it means.

When I checked the time, still groggy with sleep, it was 8:12 and I thought, “hmmm 8:12 on 8/12” as if it was still a dream and this information was supposed to be significant. And I got out of bed.

There was a delicious fresh eggs and cheese breakfast burrito, followed by a shopping trip with Mom to Kohl’s. I found three purses I liked there and none of them had a price tag. It didn’t feel worth the effort and I put them back. I ended up getting a Cuddl Duds base layer shirt on clearance and using two Kohl’s cash certificates.

This afternoon I learned about the desire of the spaghetti squash plant to reach out and climb. The plant grew across the dirt until it reached the fencing intended to prevent me from accidentally mowing it down. Now, several dainty, curly tendrils have wrapped themselves around the garden fencing. In doing so,  the blossoms seem to now be more elevated from the ground. I should have done some research before plunking it into the ground and might have known a trellis or a plant cage would be helpful. Now I can't get one in place without ripping the tender supports.

random thoughts – Day 2,340 (Tuesday) – eggs and containers

Pretty colored egg shells.

A friend gave me a box of 16 fresh eggs the other day with shells in pretty shades of tan, pale green, and white. Today, I used half of them to make baked egg and cheese with broccoli and tomatoes.

Fresh eggs laid just a couple days ago crack so much easier than grocery store eggs laid who knows when and trucked in from who knows where. And they are so delicious. 

At least half of the transformed into a baked dish product will be set into containers and frozen, ready for the next cycle of I’m hungry, I don’t feel like cooking, and I need food now. At those times, the lifeline to sanity is usually a plastic container of deliciousness from the freezer. Within three to five minutes (depending upon contents) the frozen block has been returned to a hot and ready-to-eat state and peace settles over the land. It’s a wonderous thing.

Eggs transformed.

Most of my current freezer containers are reusable black takeout containers that were sent home with me from someone else’s home after a dinner. Once upon a time, my containers were fashionable and colorful collections of Tupperware, invented by Earl Tupper in nearby Leominster, MA. To some degree, the colors kept up with fashion and decorating trends. Mom’s Tupperware pieces, bought in the 1970s, were collections in olive, tan, orange, and gold and coordinated with our Corelle dinnerware in Spring Blossom Green (aka Crazy Daisy).

My Tupperware, from the 1980s, was a disjointed mishmash of the 70s sunset colors and 80s blue, gray, and mauve. During a divorce, we split up the Tupperware, even though I was the one who endured the sales parties at the homes of colleagues and paid for the stuff. Like with everything else I walked away from, I told myself it was a small price to pay to be free. I got two of the square sandwich keepers with aqua lids, he got the other two. We split up the drinking tumblers, the hamburger patty holders, and the storage sets. I still have some of it, all these decades later. None of them are the correct size for the rectangles of my baked egg and cheese, but the recently acquired take away containers are.

random thoughts – Day 2,339 (Monday) – circles

The cycle of laundry and household chores chugged along today. It is mystifying to me that, despite weekly vacuuming, I am still finding sewing pins in the rug. I’ve been plotting a couple projects in my head, but I haven’t pinned and sewn anything since before the show in June. Even so, two more straight pins were picked up today during the vacuuming. Another mystery is how there are what appears to be several bleach spots on my sheets, yet I don’t use bleach.

Genuine fake stone circle.

The circles and cycles of time and life took literal form after a trip to WalMart. I have been looking for garden bed edging and today, the website indicated there was some in the store near me so I took the one-mile journey to explore. I checked the outdoor outdoor section last week and found none. 

Today, armed with a product screen shot showing edging and the status “in stock” in case I needed help from a store employee, I started in the in-the-store outdoor section. After aisles of planters, hoses, and tools, I hit the jackpot. In an aisle shared with pool supplies, several styles of garden edging were found. Even better, several were marked down.

I bought two boxes of genuine fake plastic stone border section with stakes. Back at home, I set to work immediately and fashioned a circle of hollow plastic “stones” in a circle under the tree. Forming the circle was harder than I expected. The first effort was lopsided and looked more like an egg shape. It took a couple tries to even out the circle. I need to pull out some more grass.

While I was toiling, a couple neighbors paused to chat. It was fun, and also the most social activity my yard has seen since move-in day just over a year ago.

Imposter carrot cake.

After the yard labor, I set my sights on other circular items from WalMart. One was a tiny sweet potato pie in a brown box. The other was a carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I love carrot cake. In recent years, I’ve been buying one during my birthday week. 

Tonight I learned that WalMart may choose to call it a carrot cake and bury it under icing with a frosting carrot on top, but the flavor is 100% spice cake and there is but a single carrot flake of texture in the thing. I will still eat the imposter carrot cake, and now I feel compelled to have a taste and texture comparison of the so-called carrot cakes from Hannaford, Price Chopper, and the not-so-nearby Market Basket, but that might just be the nerd in me looking for another way to make a chart.