random thoughts – Day 2,271 (Friday) – what a year

One year ago.

One year ago today (June 5, 2025), my house in Lowell went on the market. Listing day capped off a couple months of downsizing, decluttering, and making a few minor interior updates leading up to the optimal time to list. The year since has passed at a blistering speed. My head has been spinning for most of it.

On June 30, I had been officially laid off, the Lowell house was under contract, and my realtor and I were preparing an offer on what became my next residence. All of last summer was spent packing, moving, and unpacking. Two months after listing day, I was dodging moving boxes and clutter in a house in another city in another part of the state.

There are a few things I miss about the old place and old life. I miss the lily of the valley, irises, columbine, lilac, bleeding hearts, day lilies, and evening primrose in the yard and wonder if the new people kept them or ripped them out. In exchange for the flowers and city noise, I got a quieter wooded setting and more privacy, and I can always plant stuff, so it was a good trade. There are some Lowell specific sites and events I miss, including LaLa Books, The Brush Gallery, Warp & Weft, Fuse Bistro, and St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Shop.

I miss the easy access to the National Park Service Saturday morning historical walks, the annual Folk Festival, the Summer Music Series, the Kinetic Sculpture Race and Merrimack Repertory Theater. If I had known in 2024 it would be my last time at many events, I might have approached them differently. I miss seeing the rowing teams gathering on the Merrimack River for the regattas and the Southeast Asian Water Festival. I miss representing the bank at community events (free food and entertainment!).

It’s been a year of adjusting and baptism by fire. The plan was to work full-time for two more years and during that time, figure out what retirement would look like. The bank had other ideas, sold out, and put a significant number of us out of work. It was miserable and depressing being unemployed and cast into the purgatory of “too old to hire and too young to retire.” It is weird not having colleagues and a paycheck.

After a diligent nine-month search and submitting hundreds of applications, I conceded defeat and stopped looking for another job. I granted myself permission to relax and stop feeling guilty about every minute not spent combing through job descriptions and customizing cover letters and resumes that are likely never seen by human eyes. After a few months cool-down period, it’s time to set some new priorities and draft the next act of this life.

random thoughts – Day 2,270 (Thursday) – adventure day

My sister has the week off from work and I got to spend time with her (and Mom) again today. The adventure du jour was a trip to Market Basket in Rindge, NH. This is another new stop on my Market Basket world tour for which I have been woefully negligent in making notes to document my successes.

The transportation plan had been based on the criteria of largest cargo area and functioning A/C. My car has A/C but a miniscule cargo area. My sister’s car has great cargo space but no A/C. Mom’s car met both requirements. We piled in and buckled up. And the car wouldn’t start.

StepDad had just arrived home and was waiting for us to exit the driveway before he pulled in, except we couldn’t get out. He assessed the situation and determined it was a dead battery. After a quick strategy session, we exited Mom’s car and headed into my sister’s. Some stuff was removed from her trunk and set in my driveway and we were on our way. The absence of A/C didn’t bother me, but Sis was warm. This is nothing new and it’s possible I have ice water in my veins.

It was a nice ride to Rindge, but I can’t claim that Market Basket to be my favorite. My list of needs was short (11 items) and was made using the flyer.  The stuff I wanted the most (goat cheese crumbles on sale for $3.99) was out of stock, but I got the 99-cent English muffins, the last package of cheese ends, and they had my favorite ramen flavor (creamy chicken) so that was good.

It was the kind of day I’ve been longing for. One that had activity but still felt was long and leisurely like the summer days when I was around 10 years old. I started a book this morning, went shopping with Mom and Sis, then came home and finished the book (it’s only 177 pages). It felt like it was 5:30 or 6:00, but it was only 3:15. Nice!

A trip was made to Tractor Supply to look at yard ornaments and to Aldi for the produce items I knew cost less than the ones I didn't buy at MB. TS had more of their never-ending stock of metal roosters, both big ($200) and small ($50). I was amused but not fully tempted. I must have been hungry, though because I ended up with a cart full of tempting stuff in Aldi.

Veggies baked with sliced feta.

At home, I decided to try a recipe I’d seen for sheet pan baked veggies and feta cheese so I got busy chopping. I should have consulted the recipe before shopping because I didn’t have all the ingredients (no fresh lemon, onions, garlic cloves, or orzo) and improvised.

Green beans (not in the recipe), broccoli, and grape tomatoes were cut and drizzled with olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Feta cheese was sliced and placed in with the veggies and the whole thing was baked. The tomatoes took on a more intense flavor, the feta browned a bit and it was really good plated with ditalini. There will definitely be more iterations of that dish.

Paving season continues.

After supper I took a walk around the very quiet neighborhood and dropped three books off at the little library box and took two out. Asphalt paving equipment is parked again by the mailboxes so paving season may not be fully done yet. 

Yesterday, a section of the main entrance road was dug out and patched. Today I noticed a couple smaller street patches and several more homes with fresh driveway pavement. Two houses on my walk have roofing company signs planted in the yards. ‘Tis the season for upgrades in the neighborhood.

random thoughts – Day 2,269 (Wednesday) – full day

Some days are not busy, others are. Today was busy. It kicked off with visiting Salvation Army Thrift Store with a friend to source items for costume making. We got there right before they opened and got the last parking spot. I got a few things that had interesting trims and that can easily be reworked, keeping in mind how much I already recently acquired and that Mom has a box of fabrics she wants me to take off her hands. My friend found some really cool stuff.

Next on the fun slate was a trip with Mom to my sister’s. It’s my sister’s birthday today and we picked up a red velvet cake on the way over. It was a nice visit with pizza, cake, and chatting with Sis and my two nieces who still live locally.

The evening included a DIY video class on removing popcorn ceilings. My house has popcorn ceilings throughout and they don’t bother me (now, anyway), but I thought it might be interesting to learn about what is involved in changing them. A free webinar is a convenient and easy way to find out. Two minutes into the video and hearing the word  "popcorn" many times, I suddenly wanted popcorn to eat but there is none in the house. If only I had planned better. Sigh.

This looks fun.

Of course there are a bunch of supplies needed, all available from the orange store presenting the video. I know from a marketing standpoint, highlighting and selling product is a major reason to do educational videos, and it was nice to see the correct use of the tools in the video. It looks like it is fun and satisfying scraping the stuff off. 

Will I remove any of the popcorn ceilings? Who knows. But even if I never do it myself, now I know the 99 steps and the supplies involved, so that could be helpful, especially if someday I’m getting quotes for the work.

random thoughts – Day 2,268 (Tuesday) – explosions

Rhododendron explosion.

The rhododendrons in front of the house are exploding with big pink puffs of color. I love them. I also can’t wait for them to be done so I can trim the overgrown beasts. They seem to have not been cut back for ages – much like the one at the house in Lowell when I moved there. That’s where I learned about the timing of the buds setting. You know, after I had cut them all off with my major late summer trimming and then had no flowers the first spring I was there. Oops.  Live and learn. At least I didn’t make that mistake again.

While pacing like a panther awaiting an update on the roofing project which I thought was happening today but then learned a few hours later was not, I decided to channel my impatience in a more productive manner. I had been seeing videos on FB of “The Long Lost Steps” of Cecchetti with Diana Byer, who has been resurrecting the technique with short reels.

When I was a teenage dancer with Marion Rice Studio of the Dance, part of our center work was the “Cecchetti Arms” series. The new reels feature the six port de bras (French for “carriage of the arms”) in the Cecchetti series, which I loved doing then and it turns out, love now. So, instead of pacing and to avert an outburst, I ran through all six sections of the arms series with the videos.

It worked and I felt less like my head would explode. It was so much better that I started doing final checks and tweaks on costume parts for the June 16 show. Unfortunately, this got me aggravated all over again. Tops I thought were finished are suddenly too loose. New adjustments done today kept falling short. Others just caused new problems.

Duo and I were having a day.

The length on one top was fixed, but now the neckline is doesn't sit right. The straps on another top were checked, rechecked, trimmed shorter, and had Velcro added for the closure, and after all that, they are still too long and need more work. Another top that just needed a bit of velcro for a more secure closure is suddenly too big. Even one of my tops in Sunday's show suddenly wasn't fitting right after being perfect a week earlier. 

So frustrating! Seriously, what the blankety bank? The icon for the  Duolingo app had an expression that matched what I was feeling, so that was at least amusing. 

Tonight, while dressing to go to dance class, a toe cap on my least old pair Converse All Stars was chipping off. Another pair that is several years older does not have this problem.  I took the top and overlay for one of the dances to class to give it a real-world test drive. It was not good. I really need a class in alterations because this has become too much. 

In a veil sequence that is part of a large group number, despite my best effort to not step on my veil, it kept happening. Any minor foot movement seemed to suck the veil under my foot and the corresponding arm movement would rip the veil from my hand. 

To my credit, I did not actually explode as a result of any of the noted and still unspoken annoyances of the day. I will take that as a win and move one.

random thoughts – Day 2,267 (Monday) – delivering

Mess from dance night.

The photos for the Lowellscapes Show (open June 6 to July 26) were due today. The mess from the costume bags being dumped in the kitchen upon arrival home last night needed to be dealt with because the magical gnomes or fairies or sprites or whatever that are supposed to tidy up overnight keep blowing me off. It was a busy morning.

I got caffeinated and ready to get busy. The costumes were pulled from the bags and rehung. Hair accessories were returned to the designated storage in the bathroom closet. Makeup was returned to its rightful place in either the everyday makeup drawer or the stage makeup storage box.

Once the dance stuff was dealt with, I moved to the photos. Gallery paperwork needed to be completed with image titles and emailed. The six framed pieces were set into a tote bag, where they all fit, but it was too heavy to manage. I envisioned missing a step outside the gallery and having a bag with smashed glass and damaged photos. A second bag was found and the load was split into a more manageable configuration.

The ride to Lowell was after the morning rush and therefore reasonable. I finally parked in the no-longer-so-new Hamilton Canal Innovation District (HCID) garage at Dutton and Canal. It opened in 2020, but until last year, I had a work parking pass at another garage and always parked there or in the bank parking lot. The level of the garage I parked on was practically vacant, which felt a little like the setting for a scene in a suspense movie.

Delivered.

The work was safely delivered. I was the first one to arrive with pieces and I had a nice chat with the gallery executive director. While I was there, two other photographers in the show arrived with their pieces and I got to meet them. 

It was fun hanging around in the gallery for a little while. I miss the atmosphere and am looking forward to the exhibit’s reception in a few weeks. Being laid off from work and then moving removed me from more than just a job. It’s like I was laid off work then I laid myself off from some several once-nourishing aspects of my life and I need to reclaim that territory.

random thoughts – Day 2,266 (Sunday) – dance day

The weather was more respectful than yesterday, as in it was not precipitating “wintry mix” and was a more civilized 60-plus degrees. The morning and early afternoon were spent readying for the Natick Dance Showcase. The time used was more than sufficient, but I had the luxury of being unoccupied and chose to linger, pause, and move through the day in a shockingly calm manner.

There was coffee. Reading. Phone games. A shower. Run throughs of the dances. Verification of the costume components, which required two bags for transport. Yet another unsuccessful search for the elusive large I*EA duffel that would have eliminated the need for two bags. (I’m beginning to think I imagined ever owning it, as it has spent most of its time over the years in hiding.)

An undocumented amount of time was spent on makeup and hair. There were comical moments. To keep my bangs from doing weird things, I pinned them under in a roll while doing makeup, then forgot about it. When I took them out, they were tightly rolled in some horrible scene reminiscent of what Mummu did to my bangs when I was a kid and she had me looking like I was 50.

The little eye liner bottle fell from the counter and splattered eyeliner all over the floor. Waterproof eyeline, as in harder to clean up. Makeup remover towelettes worked. While putting on shoes and socks for departure I noticed there was spilled eyeliner still on my foot. Oops. It would not come off. The eyelash glue squirted out with more enthusiasm than needed, leaving splotches on the counter, the tweezers, and my fingers. There was swearing. Another makeup remover towelette saved the day.

With two hours until carpool pickup time, I wondered what to do next. Read? Recheck the bags for the 10^th time? Possibly jinx things by practicing the dances again? There were bits of all of those things with mixed results. I practiced a veil sequence from the duet but with a different veil because I didn’t want to unpack the one for the dance. It was a different size veil and a heavier weight and it didn’t go well.

Overall, the show was great. It was a surprise a few days ago when my duet partner and I learned we were opening the show. Our dance was to “Habibi Metal”, a fun take on some classical instrumental music. We embraced the “metal” and danced in jeans and metal tee shirts (AC/DC and Headbangers Ball) with zills and veils. We even had a headbanging move in it we named “the Beavis and Butthead” and it was so much fun.

Act One performers

Now, it’s time to start plotting the next choreography. So much music, so many ideas.

random thoughts – Day 2,265 (Saturday) – snow showers and costumes

May 30^th. At 7:25 a.m. it was 45 degrees with a wind advisory from 8 a.m. until 8 p.m., and “wintry mix” forecast until noon. The wind had the trees whipping wildly and the wintry mix included crispy ice and snow mixed with rain. The voice of Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz crept into my head, “unusual weather we're having, ain't it?” from the scene where Glinda the Good makes it snow in the poppy field to wake up Dorothy and her travel companions.

C’mon New England. This is supposed to be the start of beach season, not ski season. At least it wasn’t like my junior year of high school when “The Mother’s Day Snowstorm” delivered a foot or more of heavy, wet snow overnight May 9 - 10 and school was cancelled, so there is that to be thankful for.

Today’s plans to attend various outdoor events were scrapped the minute I got out of bed and grabbed the winter bathrobe and turned the heat back on. There was zero interest to freeze outside at the Greek Festival I have always liked, the grilled cheese food truck at the local cheese shop I keep meaning to visit, a hike at a nearby park, or anything else that was penciled on the calendar. 

New hair flowers for new dance top.

Instead, I organized the two costumes for Sunday’s show and packaged into zipper lock bags the various components for each. I ventured as far as Dollar Tree (1.5 miles from home) to seek out a very specific color fabric flower to go with one costume and larger zipper lock bags.

After scrutinizing the flowers located in four different spots in the store, I finally found the color I was looking for to coordinate with the new dance top for the troupe performance. In another week, I'll be doing the same thing for a couple of the costumes for the June show.

At home, I cut two of the yellowish-orange flowers from the bunch and attached them to a hair clip with a wire trash bag tie, green ribbon, glue, and hand sewing. The costume bits that had been packed earlier in the day were repacked into the spacious new, 2.5 gallon bags. Things are as ready as they will ever be, but that won't stop me from waking up around 3 a.m. from the recurring dream where I have arrived at the venue without a costume.