random thoughts – Day 2,351 (Saturday) – finnish pastry and thirsty robot

The day began with attending the Finnish Mama 4^th Annual Summer Finnish Coffee Table. I initially thought it was on Sunday, but luckily got the info straight in time to attend on the correct day. Some of my friends are in the Finnish dance group and I have been very negligent in seeing them perform, which I have felt bad about.

I saw a Finnish Mama booth at a festival last fall that the dance troupe performed at and I was intrigued by the variety of pastries. There were coffee breads with orange and other fruit flavorings, and lots of smaller bun type breads that I wanted to try, but that festival day was warm and it was during the stretch when my neck and shoulder were in big pain and after we danced I just wanted to get out of Dodge as quickly as possible. 

Dancers in authentic Finnish costumes.

Today was a great opportunity to check out the pastries and see my friends dance the Finnish dances. I didn't quite know what to expect, and all I can say is "wow"! A long table in the center of the room was loaded with plain and flavored coffee breads, tiny cakes, and cookies. There was coffee, iced tea, and cucumber water.

The dancers wear authentic Finnish costumes from various regions in Finland and perform several dances. I even had a chance to chat with someone who has been to Finland several times and now I want to go there even more. 

The day turned into a double-header of social events with a meet-up at Thirsty Robot for supper, music and a game from the big rack of tabletop games. We played Shut the Box, a wooden dice board game I had never heard of before and now look forward to playing again.

Five of us shared quesadilla, pretzel, and pizza. Some of us were meeting for the first time, but it felt like we were all long-time friends. The quesadilla is amazing with a lacy edging of browned and crunchy cheese. The pretzel was warm and soft and served with mustard and beer cheese dip. The pizza was as good as the last time I was there. We ate until we were full and there was still some left over. I love it when a day without solid plans blossoms into a fun time with friends.

random thoughts – Day 2,350 (Friday) – schedules and procrastination

Another Friday and another week have come and gone. Despite being unemployed for 14 months, I still have the Monday-Friday office work sense of time with weekdays as one vibe and weekends having a special time-off mood. Except all my days are time-off days now. Every day is essentially a weekend day.

Today was another of the new ordinary every day is a weekend day days. I had a plan to take the free commuter train to Boston. When I had made no effort to leave the house to be on the 11:25 train, there was still the 1:25. When I was still at home doing nothing at 1:15, there was still the 3:25 train, but that was just pushing everything too late.

So, like most of the Fridays all summer long, I hung around the house, ate every few hours, and read a book (Rage by John Kellerman). There is always next Friday, but that is the final Friday of the free commuter train program, so if I blow it again then, I will have missed out.

Lawn offering.

One of the commuter turkeys that pass through the yard on a schedule that has not yet been catalogued left an offering of a feather. I’ve seen random feathers on lawns throughout the neighborhood and today it was my lawn’s turn. It fluttered in the not so green grass with the breezes until I picked it up and stuck in the flowerpot with the reddish mum. 

Somewhere in a box in the house are several turkey feathers from the yard in Tennessee. There was never a plan for them, they just live in a box with the art supplies.

random thoughts – Day 2,349 (Thursday) – water and storage

The city is under a mandatory water ban from 9 am to 5 pm which went into effect May 11. The ban states that “Nonessential outdoor water uses that are subject to mandatory restrictions include:

-          Irrigation of lawns via sprinklers or automatic irrigation systems;

-          Washing of vehicles, except in a commercial car wash or as necessary for operator safety;

-          Washing of exterior building surfaces, parking lots, driveways or sidewalks, except as necessary to apply surface treatments such as paint, preservatives, stucco, pavement or cement.

Unfortunately, my adherence to rules that benefit the public good often causes me to resent those who disregard them and potentially endanger the public or abuse public resources (like the water supply).

What water ban? Let's wash the shed.

Today, my resentment was provoked by a neighbor who spent several hours this morning washing his house, carport, shed, planter boxes, snow plow that has sat in the driveway since he took it off in the spring, back deck, and all his lawn equipment which he had pulled out of the shed. This same neighbor washes his truck practically every other day. 

I didn’t act on my resentment and feelings of moral superiority and stayed inside my house reading a book, looking out the window once in a while and observing the activity, and telling him off in my head for being a selfish water wasting dipshit.

Stuffed animal storage chair!

Anyway. After the domestic washing event was done, my social media scrolling delivered chuckles. One of them was in an ad for Five Below, chain store purveyors of inexpensive trendy things. A featured (and fascinating) item in today’s ads was a “stuffed animal storage chair.” 

Damn skippy, I could have used that storage chair when I was young and had tons of stuffed animals and I have adult friends and family who would probably like it now.  It might even look really cool stuffed with all my belly dance practice scarves and veils which are currently crammed into and overflowing a basket. New decorating quest? We’ll see.

random thoughts – Day 2,348 (Wednesday) – milestones and intrusions

The milestone accolades continue to pile up. Well, in Duolingo and other pretend realms, not so much in real life. Today, my streak hit day number 2,222 which, numerically looks cool. It popped up on my phone screen after completing a lesson this morning and, like so many other things in my phone and laptop, has absolutely no value in the world beyond my phone. 

My email is now gamified with a little badge popping up to pat me on the back if I delete some magical number of messages some magical number of days in a row. This one has zero fun value and is 100% annoying. I am not looking to spend more time in my inbox, I just want to check messages, get out, and move on with my day. I don’t want extra overlays on the screen patting me on the back and blowing smoke up my butt for deleting some emails.

The annoyances have multiplied in the retail world in the form of interrogations, specifically Ocean State Job Lot, which is close to the house so I go there a lot. The annoying practice is to flash a survey on the payment screen while the customer is attempting to pay and get out of the store. No, I don’t want to answer questions about today's customer service and hold up the rest of the checkout line that extends halfway up an aisle while doing so. Ocean State still has employees at the registers and doesn’t force us to check out purchases ourselves and I appreciate that.

The surveys are rampant, but usually arrive via text or email and I can deal with them (mostly delete) on my own time. I get one every time I go to the dentist. I ignore it, and they send a follow-up. I get them from the doctor’s office (also ignored). And Amazon. And Kohl’s. Walmart. Ocean State the one time I ordered something ship to store. I am exhausted by ignoring all the requests and then the screen congratulating me for deleting emails. I'm all surveyed out.

random thoughts – Day 2,347 (Tuesday) – choose your own

Yesterday I returned a books to the Little Library Box and it was so full I needed to take more out so they would fit. One of them is a “choose your own adventure” book. I’ve heard of the concept, and the book is pretty cool. Each chapter ends with an choice and tells what page to go to for the option chosen. There is a lot going in for 188 pages.

On the way to dance I stopped for gas and air. The tiny station on route 2 was packed with vehicles being jockeyed into position and a massive dump truck swallowing up the space. To the credit of the other drivers, we all made it out unscathed.

Dance was good, but the wood floor was slippery again, especially when we had the A/C running. I slipped in my ballet shoes and I slipped when I was barefoot. there was no winning. We tried both choices. The slightly less slippery floor meant sweating like crazy but the conditioned, drier air meant a more slippery floor, and neither was ideal. It’s hard to dance full out when I don’t trust one knee and ankle and the floor is already trying to wipe me out.

On the way home, I decided to stop to grab some supper. The options included Market Basket prepared food, Chines food, or pizza. I missed the turn into a plaza with both Chinese and pizza, missed the turn for the grocery store, and ended up at a pizza place down the street from home. The pizza was good, just not the way I love it. The crust was a bit thicker than I like, it was light on sauce, the mushrooms were chewy and seemed like they came from a jar, but to its credit, it had a good amount of cheese. I will likely choose a different menu option if I go back there. The pizza option has ben chosen and it’s time to back up a chapter, make a different choice, and try that adventure.

random thoughts – Day 2,346 (Monday) – more real turkeys

Narcissus!

Real Turkeys of South Gardner returned with new episodes today. The afternoon matinee featured fast moving adult females on Sunrise Lane accompanied by several equally fleet footed younger birds that Mom and I call “the teenagers” because they are larger than the youngest birds, but not as large as the adults. This looked like a different flock than the one I usually see with the two hens, one adolescent, and four littles.

The group hustled across from my side of the street to the other as if they were in a race and were soon hidden by shrubs and fencing. They moved too fast to get them all in a photo. One of the adults was walking a bit off, and she may be the hen that had the injured foot last year. If it is her, she’s made great improvement. If it isn’t her, what’s up with the lame hens?

Silly bunny.

Later, over on Champagne Road, the gang of four toms seemed to be missing a member. Two toms were walking on the roof of the tan house. Narcissus was across the street making love to his reflection in the chrome on the back of the Tacoma. I was imagining the soft turkey noises I heard were the fowl equivalent of "dang, you are one handsome dude, I can't take my eyes off you." Maybe the toms rotate the chrome time and it isn't always the same one. I wonder if the vehicle owner is aware of the evening admiration ritual and chrome pecking. The fourth tom was nowhere in sight. I hope he’s okay. Maybe he was on the far side of the roof.

A few houses up the street, a bunny dined from the greenery growing in the long crack in a longer driveway. There was lawn on either side of the driveway, so it was amusing seeing it sitting on the pavement eating from a skinny strip of grass.

It's darker earlier now and as I passed the houses, images from giant TVs could be seen from the street. My TV looks like a postage stamp compared to some of the ones I saw, but I am unbothered. I have no desire for a TV screen so large someone on the street could also watch.

random thoughts – Day 2,345 (Sunday) – screws and loss

Screws. 

Fourteen years ago today, I lost a few screws. (Unleash the loose screw comments. Go ahead, I’ll wait.)

The screws were in my left leg – two at the knee, two at the ankle, and were inserted the previous October with the rod that was set in my shinbone (tibia, if you want to be all correct about it). The fibula also snapped, but it never got any attention during the rebuild. 

I could see the screws under my skin and it grossed me out, so when the surgeon said they could be removed, my response was along the lines of “ok, great, can we do it right now?” Unfortunately, it was not like adding a manicure to the pedicure appointment and required planning and scheduling and transportation coordination due to factors like anesthesia.

I miss these guys.

Once removed, the screws were set into a screw top container (ha, ha) and I took them home. My morbid self had asked for them and I was surprised (and slightly freaked out) at how long they are. They are currently still in the container and somewhere in the house, but it might take some digging to locate them.

While I relaxed on the couch after the quick procedure during which I enjoyed a satisfying drug-induced nap, Moose and Winston, my constant companions, kept me company. I really miss those little guys. 

It stinks that great pets can’t live forever or at least as long as we humans live. Moose shepherded me through a breakup and the immediate aftermath of the broken leg, and Winston joined us several months after the leg injury and added his flavor of support.

The screws are gone from the leg, and so is my full trust in my leg. It’s great for walking, casual hiking, and even belly dance, but those don’t involve jumping or anything even remotely strenuous. This summer’s weekly ballet class has illuminated my lack of trust in my left leg (and ankle) for leaps of any flavor. Leaps used to be my thing. Some of my dancer friends were amazing at spins and holding long poses with an amazing elevation of a leg, and I loved the hang time in a leap and often received the teacher feedback of “great push off” when we did grand jetes across the back of the room. 

In dance, it was leaps, and in roller derby we had to jump over objects while skating to pass our skills test. Now, I barely trust myself to do a tiny hop over a crack. The broken leg broke my spirit. I’ve known it for a while, but it’s become shockingly obvious to me lately. I gained a titanium rod and lost the bold and zesty version of myself I was before it happened. It’s been gone so long now I don’t know if it’s possible to get even a sliver of it back.