“Remoted” – Workday 117 / Day 169 (Tuesday)

So young, so naive.

On this date, a very, very long time ago, I was a young, naive bride. I barely remember the version of me from back then. That September 1 was a hot Saturday. The groom and I were married by a minister in the Protestant church where I was baptized, attended Sunday School, sang in the youth choir, and was confirmed.

The reception was held in the function room of a restaurant that had previously been a disco. My family and our friends attended. The preparations, the ceremony, and the reception were a blur and then the whole big event was over. 

A week later, we traveled to Co-op City in the Bronx for a Jewish second ceremony with a rabbi at my in-laws’ home. The ceremony was followed by a reception with my new family at an Israeli night club in Queens that had a belly dancer on the stage and purple fake fur on the walls and ceiling.

September Groom and I met during my senior year of college. He was a dozen years older than me and the first boyfriend who stuck around longer than three months. Right after my graduation from college, we began living together. Eighteen months later we were married. Nine years after that we were divorced. 

Viewed through the lens of experience, there were red flags all over the place from the start, which were ignored. It’s amazing what you will accept when determined to be "right" about your choices. Then, eight or nine years later, you realize you can’t do it anymore. Or maybe that was just me. The marriage that started on that long ago September 1 was three pretty good years that went by quickly, followed by twice as many less good years that felt like forever. I kept thinking it would be better when we had our own house /went on vacation /got a new car/ etc., but accomplishing the material goals didn't fix the problems. Chalk it up to lessons learned. The hard way.