random thoughts – Day 1,353 – (Thursday) – back yard neighbors

There are two houses that sit behind mine and that I can see from my windows. One is a two-story duplex and we share a back fence. One occupant likes to stand on the back steps and talk on the phone really loud. 

The occupants of neither side of the duplex use window coverings. No curtains, no mini blinds. When I’m closing the blinds in the bathroom, or adjusting the curtain over the sink, my eyes are often drawn to the brightly lit windows across the yard. Quite a few too many times, as the room is lit like a Broadway stage, there is a person standing at or near the window in the room as bright as a stage. Usually it's a shirtless man wiping his face or a woman with a towel coiled on her head and another wrapped under her arms, and I have conclude that these are bathrooms. 

I feel like a creeper and then think that maybe it's not really me and the people behind me are exhibitionists. I have become very adept at quickly closing the curtain and the blinds. Once or twice I have wondered what would happen if I gave a big neighborly wave before closing the window coverings. 

The neighbor coughing in the window.

The other house behind mine is also a two-story dwelling. The second floor of the house has an occupant who, unlike the duplex next door, believes in window coverings. The window dressing of choice is usually a green Celtics flag. This neighbor likes to open the window and the storm window, then hang out the window to smoke. That is no big deal. 

What is a big deal for about the past six months is the occupant hanging out the window coughing. If I’m anywhere in the kitchen, bathroom, office, or worse, outside in the yard, deck or driveway, I can hear the coughing. It’s deep and phlegmy and after a minute or two, I’m totally grossed out and on the verge of regurgitation.  

This week has been especially bad. The neighbor was simultaneously smoking and coughing so deeply  that my lungs were burning. There is also the flicking of ashes out the window, and when done, flinging the butt out the window, because as many smokers know, the world is, indeed, their ashtray. It's probably just a matter of time before the small roof below his window goes up in flames. 

When the window goes down, the Celtics banner goes back into place, and all is blessedly quiet. For about 45 minutes or so anyway, until the next episode airs. Sometimes I fantasize about living in a remote area with no neighbors. I bet it's nice.