random thoughts – Day 1,347 – (Friday) – poop bucket

Poop bucket.

Sometimes weird stuff is kept “in case I need it,” and sometimes, unlike 99% of the stuff in the kitchen junk drawer, it turns out the item is actually needed. One such item that was kept for, what was at that time, an imaginary potential use, is the emptied 2.5 gallon Minwax Polyurethane metal container from when the floors were coated in the stuff before I moved into The BungaLowell. 

Lined with shopping bags, the can was used to harvest the fecal offerings from the Canine Overlords, mysterious deceased birds, and the random trash that blows into the yard from parts unknown. Despite no longer having dogs, the can and the poop scoop remain. And thank goodness.

Early this week, the carbon monoxide detector was chirping in the basement and needed to be reset. Thanksgiving morning, it emitted its annoying sound again. In pajamas and a bathrobe, standing on the basement steps, verifying it was the detector, the landscape was surveyed to assess the aftermath of Wednesday's rain. There were some damp spots visible. 

As my gaze swept across the floor towards the area near the bulkhead, something else was noticed. It wasn’t water. The first thing spotted looked like a wrapped wire which turned out to be a long tail attached to a large-ish brown body. Generally shaped like the mice that have periodically been found deceased in the various traps placed strategically around the house, it was significantly larger. Like about four times larger. 

I was unprepared to deal with wildlife while in pajamas. After dressing, I took the step stool downstairs to reset the monitor. Then I stepped carefully across the basement to investigate the death scene and the known facts and observations. The rodent was city dumpster in an alley large. There was no blood. The tail looked discolored. The corpse wasn’t present two mornings earlier. 

The massive size really has me creeped out about the point of entry. It was great to bolt from the premises to go to Mom’s for Thanksgiving dinner.

This morning, I took a deep breath and went back downstairs. The corpse was still there, which was less disturbing than if it had disappeared. There was no way the poop pickup tool was large enough to scoop up the body like with the previous smaller mice, but there was a plan formulated overnight.

The dustpan was called into service for the operation. The corpse was double bagged with the floor sweepings gathered because as long as I was downstairs, it made sense to do a tidy up. Found among the wreckage was a sprung mouse trap, laying empty and several feet away from the rodent. The bag of basement dust and dirt and the corpse of the Rat King were deposited in the trash bin. The whole thing took a few minutes and several declarations of “ewwwww” and “oh God, oh God,” uttered in the horror movie way and not the joyful surprise way. 

It wasn’t fun. But it’s done. Just another homeowner’s tale. And thank goodness for the poop bucket. Best piece of trash I ever kept.