“Remoted – Hybrid” – Day 631 (Tuesday)

Hats I didn't need but got anyway.

The mail was a mixed bag today. More simple joy arrived in the form of a couple hats which weren’t really needed and weren't scheduled to arrive until Thursday. Kudos to the transportation chain on that one. 

And yes, I wore a new hat in the house for a while. It wasn’t necessarily because it’s a new hat. It’s because, despite the thermostat being set at the exact same settings for several years, for some reason, this year I am extra wimpy and sensitive to even the tiniest hint of chill. It’s annoying. And hats worn in the house create a hat head situation which wasn't a concern when working 100% from home but is an annoyance when needing to go downtown to the office. 

In the frequently played “Daily High-Low” game, the high was thanks to delivery folks. In addition to the early Prime hat delivery, US Postal delivered a Christmas card from my niece and her future husband, two issues from new magazine subscriptions, and a ValPack mailer with surprisingly useful ads and coupons.

One of the lows came in the mail where it fraternized with the highs. It was an innocent looking envelope with festive purple and silver dots and what looked like a handwritten address. It was a birthday card from Chewy-dot-com for Moose. His “gotcha” from the shelter anniversary date is Friday, which was the date used as his birthday in the absence of other info. The day I tried to edit him out of the Chewy account info I just couldn’t and haven't tried again since, so today he got a birthday card and I cried.

The other day I came across a small, cheerfully wrapped gift intended for my brother last Christmas. Something else was bought online and delivered to him and his wife directly to the house, so the wrapped gift was set aside for the next time I saw him. Thanks to the pandemic eliminating last year’s usual family holiday gatherings and his death this summer, “next time” seeing my brother never happened. The small, ungifted gift brought tears. 

Winnie relaxing between naps.

A friend who is acquainted with grief told me that it will come and go like the waves and the tides. She’s right. And the waves have been crashing in like a coastal storm lately.

Even Winston is cause for stress and sadness. In recent weeks, his thirst and urination volume have increased and he wakes me up to go out once or twice during the night. When I arrive home from work, his diaper wrap is soaked, dripping, and reeks like ammonia. The drips on the floor are sticky when I wipe them up. He sleeps most of the time. Internet search results indicate these could be bad signs. We have a vet appointment on Saturday and it's going to be a long few days until then.