The absence of the “old” desktop version of Scrabble through Facebook has altered my free time. I played Scrabble through Facebook for years, like maybe 10. It was recently replaced by Scrabble GO which is
hard to navigate on a desktop and clearly designed for mobile. And phones are too small for this game or my fingers are too fat to move the tiny tiles, but in any event I tried it and I hate it. On a desktop, it’s like the nursery school version of a game – annoying sound
effects, the tiles bounce up and down when you shuffle them. The game board is
stupid tiny even on a desktop, then zooms as you try to place the tiles which
is annoying. It was a great game and then they went and ruined it. Whoever “they”
are. I am mad at them.
So now I play Candy Crush on my phone instead of Scrabble on my computer. Also a stupid
game, but it’s the only version of it I know so I have no better predecessor to be mad about. The
screens while the game loads are amusing with cheery messages like “Swipe
the stress away” and “Time to relax.” Umm, this game actually aggravates me more than it "relaxes" me. There are levels labeled “Nightmarishly Hard Level”
(aka, the tagline for all of 2020). When you run out of turns or a bomb goes
off and ends the round, the game offers the opportunity to keep playing by
paying money. Real money. Ummm, no thanks.
No more lives. Get a fresh one in a few minutes. |
If you lose five times in a row (or however many
lives you had), you are informed “No more lives” and your options are to buy more
time (again with the real world money), ask friends, or wait some specified “Time to next life.” Dang. I wish it
were that easy to get a “next life” in real non-Candy Crush life. Lose a few
rounds, wait 15 or 30 minutes, be issued a next life and a do-over. Things are
more tolerable with a known endpoint, and how many times have you wanted a
do-over? The hard part is, you can’t advance without winning the level, which sounds
like the premise of reincarnation where you keep coming back until you resolve specific
issues or learn certain lessons in life.
Candy Crush lives have lessons. The game highlights a potential
move. Sometimes, it’s the only available move to line up three candies, but not
always. Just because the game suggests it, it doesn’t mean it’s the best move
for you. Kind of like advice from well-meaning (or not so well-meaning) people. There is multiplying chocolate, which is the same effect as being buried up to your neck in whatever. The game has some Las Vegas slot machine elements at play. Stuff flashing and
dinging and swishing, seemingly at random, and when you win, it’s a candy
explosion version of fireworks. Some levels feel impossible, which is infuriating, but after failing the
same level for what feels like 5 million times over a couple days, suddenly it
just solves itself. I think there is a mercy rule built in to keep people from
giving up altogether because it is no fun losing all the time. Not in a game, and not in real life.
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