“Remoted” – Workday 60 / Day 80 (Thursday)

Many months ago, back before the pandemic (should we now call it BTP?), the phone would come off the charger at 6:00 a.m. with a 100% charge and be drained to nothing and shut itself off by 3:00 p.m. (without being used). Carrying the charging cord to work became as routine as carrying my lunch. I knew I’d need to do something, but it’s so easy to keep putting it off, especially when the primary purpose of my phone is the camera feature.

Initially, I thought the problem would be resolved with a visit to the phone store at the mall like I’ve done a couple times already. The rep there could do the button pushing work, and after the store, I’d go to Target for the craft beer selection, which is my usual reward for the punishment of the mall. But there were weeks (months?) of excuses. I’m at work. It’s too early. It’s too late. I need to eat supper first. I’m not in the mood. Maybe it will fix itself. I don’t like the mall and I don’t like talking on the phone so I don’t want to call.

When the “Remoting” and the Stay at Home orders came down, I hadn’t yet been to the mall. The phone’s performance got worse, with trips to the charger every few hours, then every 1.5 hours. Today hit a record, coming off the charger at 100% and drained to 13% a mere 19 minutes later, then down to 9% in the few seconds it took to plug it back into the charger.

It was clear this couldn’t be put off any longer. Crap needed to be dealt with. A call was made to the phone carrier (the second in two weeks). Questions were asked by the first rep on the line. “Is there a bulge in the phone where the battery is?” Huh? I dunno, let’s take off the Otter Box and check. No bulge, but the phone was hot!

There was a transfer to another rep who confirmed the phone was eligible for replacement under the “total protection” coverage for which I’ve been paying for a couple years. But instead of just arranging to send a replacement phone, we needed to jump through some hoops and do a Reset to Factory Settings. Why? It was already established this was covered. The same process happened with the first call a couple weeks ago, too, but I ran out of time after the backup and didn’t get to the reset before needing to jump off to watch the telecast of my niece’s Senior Parade.

Today’s diagnostics indicated “the battery is fine,” at the same time the phone was burning my hand. The tech wanted the factory reset to determine now if it was the phone itself, or something on the phone. Is this the blame an app loophole to avoid replacement after already saying it would be?

After 45 glorious and delightful minutes on the phone, under the pressure of trying to get the order in today for delivery tomorrow, the diagnostics and backup were done. Then it was the reset and another call from the tech for another 30 minutes on the phone. The verdict? The phone is screwed up. No news there. There is a new phone on the way, but the cutoff was missed and it will arrive on Monday.  

In the meantime, I get to reload my apps, and everything in today’s world has an app. You know what I mean. Between the apps that come loaded on the phone, plus banking, credit card, doctor’s office, vet office, social media for my cyber life, there were 109 apps before the reset, and that was after I had deleted any newer apps that I was afraid were causing the problem (sorry Next Door, you are the new kid on this block, so bye-bye). After the factory reset and before the reloads of my personal apps, there were 89 apps. Seriously?

Damn Ben & Jerry.
Who ate my ice cream?

It was progress and there is an end in sight, but instead of a feeling of triumph, the process and the time on the phone left me with a huge headache. Ice cream was in order. Thanks to a Whole Foods delivery last week, the freezer held some. Sadly, but not surprisingly, in a week, a 1.5 quart container of Whole Foods brand Butter Pecan (so good!) and a container of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia (also so good!) were consumed (apply directly to butt, hips, and thighs). That left the B & J Chocolate Fudge Brownie as the last ice cream standing. So much for thinking all that ice cream would last two weeks. I apparently do not know myself as well as I like to pretend. Until tonight, the plan had been to not touch that last container until at least the weekend, but the phone headache demanded it now. The seal was cracked, the lid was opened, and lo and behold, it looked like someone had already beat me to it. What the heck Ben & Jerry? For the princely sum charged for this tiny container, could you at least fill it? Cripes.