random thoughts – Day 1,643 – (Monday) – pirates on tv

Tonight, a new Netflix adventure was begun. New for me. The show, Black Sails, set in 1715, was released in 2014. The show is described on a Wikipedia page as a “historical action adventure” and “period drama” that was written as a prequel to Robert Louis Stephenson’s Treasure Island, which I’m pretty sure I never read.

The show’s theme music hooked me from about the third note. Heavy drum beats and the wail of what could be bagpipes get the blood pumping. Dance steps and combinations pranced through my head. This is not the first time theme music has lured me into a show. Westworld and Game of Thrones also had the same effect.

The main characters at the start of Black Sails are a bunch of pirates who have arrived in port after being at sea. Even before they landed, they seemed remarkably clean and healthy looking. More like the models on the covers of romance novels than sailors living in close quarters, working on the ship, and attacking and robbing other ships.

Clear and bright.

There is an array of startling and crystal-clear blue, green, and brown irises set in pure white orbs. Even after a sword fight, attempted coup, and beating a shipmate to death, the eyes remain clear and bright, and in many cases, free of undereye bags. How is this possible? Did they plunder a cargo of Visine, refreshing cucumber slices, and chilled eye masks? My eyes don’t look that fresh and bright after a solid nine hours of sleep.

Pearly whites.

There are plenty of close shots of pirate after pirate with toothpaste ad perfect teeth. Come on. Things seem much more advanced in 1715 than I ever imagined. The dental care with this crew seems to have been top notch, even by 2024 standards. There must have also been some Crest 3D Whitening Strips or dental office bleaching solution in the plundered cargo. I don’t know the last time I saw that many people with perfect, glistening teeth in one place in real life, but TV show production is clearly a magical world. 

Of course, the women are lovely. A brothel is an important location in the first three episodes of Black Sails, and there are lots of lovely lasses wandering around, in many cases, topless. The men get to flash their brilliant smiles, and the women get to flaunt their lovely bosoms. The parts of clothing and artfully draped fabrics they wear are kind of nice, though.

Overall, it’s an interesting story about commerce and piracy politics on the high seas and in port. With eye candy. I give it a thumb up. A single thumb. I like it, but I don't love it. Except for the opening music, which I am quite smitten by.