“Remoted” – Day 374 (Thursday)

I've won a lottery I didn't enter!

The messages from the scammers have made their way into my inbox and DM.

Last week, there was an email from a Mr. Christopher Wray with the very official sounding Antiterrorism and Monetary Crimes Division at FBI Headquarters, informing me about a large lottery payment I have won from a lottery I never entered. The exclamation points in the greeting are convincing, though.

All I have to do to get it rolling is to send a $96 fee to have my $4.8 million released by the IMF and have a check shipped to me. Simple, right? Last I heard, the FBI was not in the lottery winning notifications arena, and  no, I won’t be sending a payment. 

Sugar baby invite!

This week, over in Instagram, there was a bizarre and random invitation from a self-proclaimed sugar daddy named Thomas who has a new Instagram account with zero followers, one post, and as my magnificent luck would have it, he is, for whatever reason, following me. He says he loves my profile picture, and if he is actually looking at my IG, he must also love food, because that is about 90% of what is on there. 

Although it would be more believable if Thomas was inviting me to a Pampered Chef party or an online cooking group, he has extended a kind invitation to be his sugar baby – with weekly payments. This is intriguing. I know the definition of “young” keeps getting pushed out and 40 is the new 20 and 50 is the new 30, but the reality is, I’m closer to retirement age and an assisted living facility that to any age that is young. Unless, of course, this dude is as old as Methuselah at age 969, in which case, my age would be relatively young. It’s hard to tell by the tiny photo in the message if he is Methuselah, but I'm doubting it, Thomas. 

Sugar daddy Thomas was blocked, but that is now feeling a little hasty. Maybe I should have at least inquired about the weekly payments. After all, I did just also win a foreign lottery, so my luck is running pretty hot. Between the lottery the FBI wrote me about and the weekly payments from Thomas the sugar daddy wannabe, this could be my entry to the easy life. It may be time for an appointment with a wealth manager to develop a plan for my new income streams.