“Remoted” – Day 367 (Thursday)

On a whim, or maybe not exactly a whim, because I have thought about it for years and salivated over the ancestral wonders that could be revealed, I ordered the Ancestry.com DNA kit. The fancier one with the extra “Traits” feature.

While in the Ancestry.com site stressing over the excessive and overwhelming number of “hints” about people on my tree, I noticed there was a sale on the kits. A headline, obviously timed for St. Patrick’s Day, invited people to "find out how Irish" they are. After missing the sale at the end of 2020 by procrastinating, I had told myself I would pounce the next time there was a sale. It was more of a promise fulfilled than a whim. The Ancestry website beckons, “Now that you've created a family tree, take an AncestryDNA test to explore your ethnicity, find DNA matches, and discover people you share a common ancestor with.” Oh, yes. Let’s explore. The magic digits were typed in to pay the $79 fee, partly in an effort to stop breaking promises to myself. 

Someday I will salivate for you.

The kit arrived in a fraction of the 7-10 days mentioned in the ad. This is in contrast to my passport renewal which cost $7.95 for two-day priority delivery that took six days to arrive. I am quite thoroughly miffed at the United States Postal Service, which used to be quite reliable, for the grossly exaggerated and misleading advertising. It seems like I could have pedaled that Priority envelope to Philadelphia on my bicycle and gotten it there faster. At least it wasn’t anything urgent that could have been a problem.

Anyway. Despite the DNA kit arriving several days earlier than expected, the tube still has not been prepared with the recommended level of saliva and mailed to Utah. The excitement seems to have passed. For several days, I’ve seen the pretty pearly white box sitting there while I’m drinking my morning coffee and think, “Ewwww, I’m not going to send coffee spit.” Or supper spit. Is fresh toothpaste saliva okay? Can the test even detect coffee spit? So many questions. Other times, it seems like my mouth is too dry and I need to drink some water first. Then, it’s forgotten again. 

This may need to be treated as a work project with a deadline or set as an appointment on my Outlook Calendar with the nagging reminder. That’s how things are accomplished at work, and what it took to finally get the passport renewal mailed after a six-week delay. When it's finally done, I wonder if the "Traits" feature will reveal a tendency to procrastinate or need for deadlines.