“Remoted” Day 350 (Monday)

This ranks as a pretty great Monday. My jaw began improving yesterday, making noodles for supper possible. Today, the motion was a few degrees even better and supper was a veggie stir fry. Never before has eating a bowl of veggies with shrimp been such a joyous event. The petite Brussels Sprouts were adorably tiny, but a couple of them gave the jaw a tiny twinge. Overall, though, day two of actual solid food was a success.

Real food! Veggie stir fry
with shrimp and olives.

The other great thing that happened is related to other stress running in tandem with the jaw situation. 

It all started with the snow and its rearrangement. After shoveling from each of the snowstorms early in February, I was nauseated. The kicker was the day I chopped ice for about fifteen minutes and then felt sick in my stomach for the next five hours. It was disturbing enough that my primary care doctor was called. I was in the office the next day (Thursday) where they did an EKG (which was described as "spectacular" but maybe just to make me feel better). It turns out, in women, nausea is a symptom of heart issues. Instructions for “no shoveling” were provided as another predicted snowfall approached.

First thing Friday morning, I was in a cardiologist’s office. Another EKG was done, and the doctor looking at a printout commented, not that it was "spectacular," but that things were “atypical.” I wasn’t sure if he meant the EKG or me in general. There was also an excruciatingly detailed, blow by blow account provided of another test that only might need to be done that involves something going in through an artery in the arm and up into the heart. It grossed me out to the point of numbness and provided more stress than almost anything else. That day, anyway.

A nuclear stress test was scheduled for a few days later. The blood lab was visited for tests ordered the day before at the primary care office. When I checked the results late in the day, in the midst of a series of results marked “ok” and “normal,” suddenly a cholesterol number screamed at me in bold red with the word “High” next to it. Things just kept getting better. Considering I eat about 90% vegetarian, I guess it's all the cookies and ice cream to blame.

Saturday, after the cardiologist and before the stress test, was the regularly scheduled dental appointment, set back in July. One day before, the toothache and tenderness under the jaw had started. This became another cause for concern because jaw pain is also a symptom of heart issues in women.

Last Wednesday, after several days of oatmeal and soup, was the three-to-four hour nuclear stress test consisting of an IV, hang around for an hour, have some images done, then walk on a treadmill. There were more images after the treadmill. Had the hour-long interlude been mentioned in the instructions, a book would have been brought.

The instructions also said to bring a “snack or lunch” for halfway into the test. Calculating the time from the appointment at 8:30, the halfway point would be 10:30, which is too early for lunch, and because of the jacked-up sore jaw, my snack was applesauce. After the treadmill and before another set of images, I was told to go have my lunch or "a substantial snack." I explained my pathetic applesauce snack. The cardiology team sent me around the corner to McDonald’s for a shake to fulfill the “substantial” requirement and also accommodate the stuck jaw. It seemed funny being told to have a chocolate shake for lunch, but it was delicious. Best doctor's order ever. McD’s was about the last place I expected to be sent by a cardiology team. After the test, I was advised to “avoid anything that raises the heart rate.” Not much about life is very exciting lately, so this didn’t even feel like a challenge.

After the test was over, it was the big wait for results. Every twitch, every twinge freaked me out. My primary care office called this morning to ask if I had heard anything about the stress test yet. Not a whisper. When I checked personal email after work, there was a message to check the patient portal at my doctor’s office sent at 9:30 this morning. The word is, the stress test results are normal. 

To recap the stressful events of the past couple weeks -- three, maybe four  events of snow and ice clearing with a side of nausea, two EKGs, 19 dental x-rays, two jaw exams, eight days of eating mush, one set of blood labs, one four-hour cardiac test, and one chocolate shake.

Standing on the other side of all that and hearing that "the test results are normal," even though very little else in my life ever is, today has been a pretty good day. Spectacular, even.