random thoughts – Day 1,534 – (Friday) – home study

Another day, another failure to plan something to do. The week of doing mostly nothing is a success and I seem to have found my special talent. It was not boring, so from a scientific/self-knowledge position, it is confirmed that one week is not long enough for me to become bored. Maybe the next step in the informal study is a two-week vacation with no plans to test the boundaries of boredom.

Some of my favorite memories involve being a kid on summer break from school. All those long and glorious days with no obligations, making it up as I went along. If  I was ever bored, I don't remember it. When I ventured out, it was usually to the air-conditioned comfort of the public library.

Ta Pethia played under the tent.

Today’s homebound inertia, which was not at all boring, was broken long enough to attend Grecian Festival 2024 at Transfiguration Greek Orthodox Church. The parking volunteers did a great job guiding me to a terrific parking spot across from the church. 

Under a huge tent in a huge parking lot, the band Ta Pethia played Greek music. Two major food areas were set up under the tent. One area served “fast food” of souvlaki and gyro wraps and pastries, the other served the various bigger dinners. 

The plentiful dining options presented the dilemma of deciding what to order. I wasn’t craving anything specific, which would have been helpful. I wasn't even hungry and was there alone, which made everything feel awkward. Being literally alone in a crowd is not my favorite state. 

Grilling.

I heard a couple songs before the band took a break, then stood around feeling self-conscious during the break. I stood on the sidewalk near where some kids were playing in grass and one little girl demanded her mother take photos of her doing very slow cartwheels in an effort to capture in pixels the perfect split position. 

Not too far away, the cooks were grilling meats. Other volunteers prepared food in the church hall kitchen. When the band returned to the stage, I returned to the tent near the back of the tables and tried to not block the travel path.

After an hour of being at the festival, unable to decide what to eat, I headed to the car and home. There was some joking with the attendant who had guided me to the perfect spot and there was a pang of regret about leaving it. 

At home, the ice cream in the freezer required no decision-making skills, no feeling awkward, and no need to crash a table of strangers to sit and eat. Being out is swell, but there really is no place like home. 

random thoughts – Day 1,533 – (Thursday) – rebrand

The vacation week was initially spec’d out as a week of household effort. Plans were loose to nonexistent. Maybe thin some plants and/or add some new ones and trim the lilac now that the blooms have passed. Nothing major. Weather permitting, as in, if it was 85 to 90 degrees like last week, there would be the washing of the vinyl siding and fence. 

The very thick book for book club (452 pages) needed to be read. It's an award winner, which is a general classification that usually goes right over my head. 

The dining room table would finally be cleared of art supplies left there since March. Potential paint colors for the bedroom had been reviewed in advance and the paint purchase planned strategically to occur a day or so before the painting would take place.

The basic painting steps were already known, for the most part. Wall wiping and taping and basic paint application were all familiar from the painting of the kitchen and bathroom in previous years. There was research about wall preparation and painting lighter colors over dark which added steps to the process.

Instead of all the not-quite planned activity, the week has seen a lot of sitting on the couch, phone in hand, Netflix on the TV screen. Along with a headache that lasted several days, there has been a side portion of remorse about the time spent in idleness. Once I got home from dance class on Sunday I didn’t even leave the house again until Wednesday afternoon's Aldi trip. By Thursday, it occurred to me that it hadn’t ever occurred to me to go to the gym, and when the thought finally happened, it was raining and there was no desire to go, 

The week has been a lot of what I claim I will want to do in retirement, assuming that chapter happens. Loose plans that may or may not be executed. Minimal commitments.

The things that were done fell more into the usual routines. Sort of. The morning coffee, Wordle and Words with Friends, instead of taking an hour, took all morning, because they could. It was a great example of something learned in business management classes in college – “Work expands to fill the time allotted.” Some days the usual morning stuff expanded to fill the whole day.

The minimal level of activity expended has inspired a re-brand of the week. Instead of thinking of it in terms of what I didn’t do, it is now re-framed. The new theme is “rest and relaxation.” Under that standard, the week has been a smashing success, and there are still three more days available before returning to the workaday world. And still 245 pages to go to finish the book.

random thoughts – Day 1,532 – (Wednesday) – shopping spree

Dayum. Wednesday already. Stay-cation week is blowing by at a breakneck pace and I am not a fan of the accelerated timeline. Of course, the week was booked with no plans in sight. Once it was on the calendar, I looked for last minute trip specials and art, dance, or writing workshops. Nope, nope, nope.

Today, I saw a post about the big writers conference in Clarksville, which I was part of as an onsite photographer and attendee during its first year, many moons ago. This year’s edition is next week, after I’m back at work and when it’s kind of too late to swap my vacation to next week. Maybe next year I can get it on my radar early enough to plan for and attend.

Today I at least left the house. The weekly Aldi email came this morning and there was a pair of cute sandals shown. I was sufficiently motivated and out the door and on the road to the closest Aldi in Salem, NH (eight miles). Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that living in a decent-sized city would require me traveling to another town for practically everything or relying on online orders. But I digress.

Not bad for a grocery store swimsuit.

The Salem store had a few pieces of several previously featured items in the special finds aisle. There were a few pairs of sneakers (not my size) and a couple one-piece swimsuits, a terry beach robe, but none of the sandals I went there for. I got a teal colored swimsuit for a vacation week in October with actual plans, some parmesan, salsa, and a few other food items. It's my first time buying a swimsuit in a grocery store.

I was already out and about in New Hampshire, so I headed over to the next-closest Aldi in Nashua. They had some different items from previous features -- sneakers, cute skirts and cute tops (none in my size), a patterned swimsuit, and a leftover windbreaker featured weeks and weeks ago that was on clearance today for $7.49. And no black floral dressy sandals. 

I left that Aldi with a pink and orange patterned swim suit (for that vacation with plans), a windbreaker that coordinates with the swimsuit (but will probably never be worn together), ice cream, cookies, and a frozen pizza (none of which will help with the swim suit fit, but vacation calories don’t count, right?).

Now mine -- 25 yards of dip dyed splendor.

The day’s mail delivered a new 25-yard skirt bought for our next dance performance. It’s purple and black, the color scheme I wanted years ago when the troupe first got the skirts. Another dancer had already claimed purple and back then we were trying to not duplicate skirt colors. The troupe has grown a bit since then, a couple skirt colors left with departing dancers, and I have grown a bit tired of my aqua skirt. The skirts are still sold and I had been obsessively checking for purple, but it hadn’t been available in forever. 

Then, a series of events happened. Last week I sent the vendor a message asking if they would ever have the skirt in purple again. Sunday in class, I told another dancer how I had been trolling the site for purple. Monday, my friend from class sent me a text with a link to a purple skirt, asking if it was what I talked about. It was ordered within minutes and arrived today. Now I get to shop for purple costume jewelry. We belly dancers kid around that we dance because we like buying sparkly things and jewelry. It certainly is a big benefit. 

I should buy some accessories this week while I’m on vacation, because just like calories, vacation shopping sprees don’t count. Right?

random thoughts – Day 1,531 – (Tuesday) – paint and pizza

The head was less achey today and that is a good thing. It was a lazy day with a lot of sitting around.

The finalists.

More painting prep research was done. It started with wanting to know if I should wipe down the walls with vinegar and water or water and dish soap or just a dry cloth, but ended spiraling down a rabbit hole of paint company dissertations about how many coats of primer to start with. 

The challenge is painting a lighter color (a blue-ish gray “Solitude” in Sherwin Williams speak) over a darker color (murder scene red in my words). One site recommended two coats of primer before applying the new color, which would mean painting the room three times. Cripes. 

This has the thinking swinging back to the original idea of a dark blue (“Nightfall” in the Valspar world). Or skipping the project altogether because I’m numb enough to the red now and don’t even notice it. It’s not a room where I spend much quality awake time.

Current crime scene.

I almost left the house to go to St. Vincent de Paul and drop off a bag of donations, but I knew full well that I would not just drop the bag off in the bins inside the vestibule and leave. History dictates that I would be inside that shop and looking around. There is no after hours drop-off either.

On the food front, the preferred pizza delivery shop has been sending weekly emails for at least a month with an online ordering offer for a half-off appetizer with a large pizza, Monday – Thursday from 3:00 – 5:00. The email had an “order now” button, which I have tried several times. No discount has ever shown in the order and I have bailed every time. 

Yesterday another email came with the offer, and around 4:00, I tried to buy a large pizza and half price appetizer. Nope. No discount. No code to enter. It was tried again today, and again, there was no discount.

I wanted the stupid deal enough to call. When I know there is an online order option, I don’t deal with the process of calling and having to talk to someone. The guy who answered the phone had no clue about the special, but he yelled to the shop at large (and in my ear) and a woman’s voice responded with all the details, including that it’s an online only offer. Right. And it doesn’t work.

They tested the online order in the shop on their website and it didn’t work, so at least it isn’t just me. I’m guessing they have not seen much of an uptick in the weekday afternoon business over the past month with the defective program. My online order special was taken over the phone. Pizza and Cowboy Bites arrived.

Maybe the accomplishment for my day was alerting the pizza place to the problem they didn’t know they had.

random thoughts – Day 1,530 – (Monday) – head game

Busy brain.

It’s the Monday holiday kickoff to vacation week, and also day three or maybe four of having a headache. Like many other ailments, the headaches seem to ease in gradually. At first, I mostly ignore it, and then later, I realize it is solidly settled in but I don’t know how long it’s been there due to a long cultivation of high-level denial skills as a life-coping mechanism.

Maybe it's from the also newly arrived sleep issues, where I wake up 10,000 time a night. The 3:15 am awakening usually includes a very busy brain that won't shut off. Then, when I finally get up, I'm tired. 

Today, when I woke up with a very present, pronounced, impossible to ignore headache, I remembered having one yesterday, and also vaguely recalled one at some point on Saturday. Oh yeah, and also possibly Friday, too, maybe, but I can’t be positive at this point. Ugh. Even my hair hurts. 

The original plan for this weekend, established last weekend, was to visit Lowe’s for the just-in-time acquisition of the paint and supplies to paint the bedroom. I laid in bed, staring at the red-painted paneled walls I have become numb to over the past eight years (denial skills?), noting the volume of crisp white woodwork surrounding the mile of closet opening, two door frames, two window frames, baseboard, and corner edging. 

The amount of furniture that would need to be moved away from the walls was surveyed – two full dressers, a full cedar chest and two bookcases. The bed sits in an alcove that is currently painted all white, so that will just need to be covered with a tarp, as will the furniture and the carpet.

The process, planned weeks ago, was reviewed. Move the aforementioned furniture without breaking a hip or throwing out my back. The curtains would come down and be brought to the laundry closet. The woodwork and ceiling edges would be taped. The step stool and supplies would be carried upstairs. Oh, and first, there would need to be a trip to Lowe’s for the paint, tape, and tarps. It sounded exhausting. Meanwhile, my head was throbbing.

There were delays. After drinking coffee, which neither helped nor exacerbated the headache but woke me up, and while beginning to change into clothes for the trip to Lowe’s, summer tee shirts were set into drawers to replace sweaters which were bagged for the season. A pile of things intended for donation was refolded. And that was it. I went downstairs and never returned to the bedroom.

Lunch. And again for supper.

Instead of painting, a freezer excavation was conducted. Hot Italian sausage was extracted and cooked for lunch with pasta topped with pesto sauce. It was yummy. More was had for supper because leftovers are efficient. 

Then, because even my eyeballs hurt along with my head and hair, a nap was taken. Later, the litter box was cleaned and the trash was put out. And then the day was basically over. Gone. Done. All of it, except for the headache part, which still lingered. Yay.

random thoughts – Day 1,529 – (Sunday) – amusements and stuff

New language lessons!

Today I took another step in my exploration of languages. Building upon my years of high school French, I have been doing French lessons in Duolingo for quite a while. I did the Finnish lessons in Duolingo and took classes in person at Saima Park in Fitchburg. Finnish is a very hard and frustrating language and when Duolingo got annoying I bounced to Spanish, then back to French. and now, there is a new thing to learn.

Today, at St. Vincent DePaul, I made a $2.00 discovery that will further my language and cultural knowledge. I found a program for “How to Speak Cat.” There are 100 cards in the brand-new box, each explaining a cat behavior, facial expression, and meow. This will be my latest tool to interacting with Kiki. 

Kiki and I are making progress, even before the new tools. The vet had said to expect three to six months for her to settle in and we are right on the three-month mark. This weekend she has let me hand feed her treats while she's in her hidey bed, and approach her on the stairs and get as close as two steps below her. Two days in a row! I hope it isn't a trick.

Kiki letting me get close.

After a slow approach and once I'm in place and telling her how pretty she is (no lie, she is!) she lets me  pet her. Yesterday, she even let me brush her. Keeks seems pretty chill during all this and I’m thrilled. At night, before I go to bed, she loves to have me stroke her cheeks and head and shoulders. 

In other fun and amusing news, a couple recent features on the Facebook app are both annoying and amusing. On my computer, the search feature in FB is the same – a magnifying glass and a search box, and it’s clear the search is happening within Facebook where I want it to be. 

On mobile, the search feature says “Ask Meta AI anything.” Umm, thanks, but I don’t want to ask Meta anything. I want to find updates in my dance group or check the time of an art reception or find the funny cat meme I saw earlier. At least when I start typing, it defaults to my Facebook universe and not the cyber universe at large.

A couple posts in my newsfeed over the past couple days caught my attention with some head scratching amusement. 

On Friday, a post from People of Market Basket had one of their frequent “guess the Basket” posts. Below the image were several Meta AI generated search queries. “Tell me more about basketry.” “Explore basket-making.” “Learn more about basket weaving.” Nice try AI, but no.

Today, a post from George Takei involved someone vaping on a plane with the caption “She thought she could fly under the radar.” And the Meta AI prompts appeared. “Tell me more about under the radar.” “Learn more about radar technology.” Come on, really.

Luckily, this doesn’t appear on every post. But now I’m on the lookout for it because I enjoy weirdness and nonsense. And I wonder if radar technology can help me learn basket making. 

random thoughts – Day 1,528 – (Saturday) – decisions

The list of options for the day was lengthy. Facebook events were flagged up and down the schedule, and the coffee-time decision analysis was conducted. For the morning's entertainment, I could go to the gym and walk on the treadmill at my preferred 4.0 mph pace, alone and freezing under the massive ceiling fans, followed by ten minutes in the massage chair. I would be home within an hour and free to move on to other activities.

Or, I could go downtown for the "Lowell Walks: Hamilton Canal District" group walk led by a local history expert. The pace would be significantly slower, with frequent stops along the route for the learning part of event, and the total time with travel downtown and back would be between two and three hours.

Learning about canals.

The decision swung solidly to the outdoor history walk. Walking indoors on a treadmill on a gorgeous day seemed completely insane and I knew at least one friend would be at the walk. It felt like a healthy decision for both body and mind and as a bonus, I saw three people I know.

I’ve been on quite a few of the themed walks over the years and they are always informative. Today’s lesson included information about the evolution and connectivity of the canals in Lowell and the competitive advantages Lowell manufacturing had once upon a time. The canals helped channel the power of the Merrimack River and today I learned we had one of the first railway lines to help move the textiles to Boston. And a mill builder who went to England to visit a successful mill, the design of which was protected like a trademark. He memorized the layout to replicate the structure in Lowell, which worked because his luggage was searched for notes and drawings, but of course none were found. Corporate espionage and intrigue was alive and well.

One of the recurring topics on nearly every tour, whether it be through downtown or at Lowell Cemetery, is the invention of Moxie Nerve Tonic which eventually became Moxie soda. It happened right here in Lowell, and despite its availability at Market Basket and hearing about it countless times, I still haven’t tried it. Every time I hear the story, I think that it is long past the time to do so. Considering the weird things I have liked over the years (anchovies, liver, black licorice, and Finnish salmiakki) there is a good chance it might be my new favorite beverage and I just don’t know it yet.

There was very nearly an evening visit to Market Basket, but not specifically for Moxie, which I’d forgotten about by then, and more generally for ice cream and bakery treats. I talked myself out of going with the argument that summer and swimsuit season is basically here and ice cream will not help with swim suit confidence. Last year I very deliberately avoided the beach and shorts, because, well, flab. I do not wish to repeat that this year.

Tasty treat.

Skipping MB was well and good, but then, because one of my top skills is self-sabotage,  I undermined the entire effort and made peanut butter and fluff Ritz crackers. Then I ate the rest of the just-opened sleeve of crackers and washed it down with a Wormtown Brewery Be Hoppy beer. The combination of light salt and heavy hops is pretty good, but in terms of overall damage, I should probably have just gotten the ice cream. The sinus issues it triggers is usually effective for curtailing consumption. 

random thoughts – Day 1,527 – (Friday) – temperatures and fisticuffs

I was the only person in the office-office today and it was blissfully quiet. Things were accomplished, including remembering to get outside for a walk before the high school let out and the streets were filled with students.

Nice day for a walk.

It wasn’t overly warm and a quick pace was taken. The route went along the rail line and around the canal, over by the courthouse and the health center and the empty lots where buildings were promised but not yet started, past the registry, and at Central Street, looping back towards the bank. 

The afternoon was all that separated me from a week’s vacation, and I hoped for it to be as quiet at the morning had been and then be over and done with. The plan was to finish a project status update for team members returning to the office from their own time away this week. Emails were sent asking questions and answers were plugged into the status report.

Fisticuffs.

Shortly after 2:30 when school let out, yelling and noise from the street carried up to the office. The view out the window revealed a gathering of high schoolers on the corner in front of Subway. There was yelling as a couple girls pummeled each other and pulled long hair and rolled around on the concrete sidewalk. The temperatures have risen a bit this week, and it seems tempers have grown a bit hot with them. Fisticuffs ensued.

A smaller group of kids stood on the sidewalk on the other side of Merrimack Street, watching the activity and separated from the first group by traffic and maybe also good sense.

I watched out the window for a few minutes. It wasn’t as big a brawl as the one several years ago that had about a hundred kids and resulted in arrests. 

Back at my desk, updating things and cross checking things, it was a couple minutes before I registered more noise outside. This time, it was sirens and three or four police cruisers with them. Sirens don’t always register anymore. With the police and fire stations a block away, they are a permanent part of the soundscape.

A sizeable number of students remained on the corner and weren’t disbursing very quickly even though the officers where telling them to move along. It was comical how they stood, shifting their weight and taking a few steps in place and not going anywhere, ignoring the officers and looking around and upward as if suddenly interested by the local architecture. It looked exaggerated, like stage acting. Eventually, they moved along to wherever kids go after school these days.

I was most glad to have already gone out and returned before the altercation.

Around 3:30, a couple monkey wrenches were tossed my way on a couple projects. No worries, because late on a Friday afternoon before a long weekend/week off is the perfect time for stupid stuff and delays. Right? 

The frequency and pattern with which it happens to me (basically right before every holiday weekend and vacation) feels like some sort of cruel trick of the universe. Enough, already. Now the project update for colleagues also includes a problem or two from out of left field. Sorry, folks. 

random thoughts – Day 1,526 – (Thursday) – home nostalgia

It’s interesting and surprising to me the emotion that a photo can trigger. Anytime I see a photo of Moose or Winston my heart aches. I miss them so much. That isn’t really surprising. The surprise is when I get all mushy over a picture of a house.

Tonight, the trigger was a photo of my ranch house in Tennessee. I’m surprised at the level of nostalgia I feel for the house in the city I couldn’t wait to flee. “The 402”, so named because that was the house number, was 1,200 square feet on the main level with a full basement with garage under and an attic. And a long driveway and lots of parking, which was handy both times I had a party.

The 402.

The 402 had hardwood floors and fireplaces in the main level and the partially finished basement. The dining room had a large window that overlooked the woods out back with turkeys and deer and the occasional fox. The living room had a large window facing the sloped lawn and the street beyond it, with turkeys, deer, an owl, and the occasional fox. The front porch was concrete and wide enough for comfortable seating, unlike the porch at X2’s house which was so shallow that your knees would be skinned on the porch rails when you sat in a chair.

When I walked into The 402, I knew it was “the house.” It offered privacy and views, and proximity to everything. I used to go home for lunch nearly every day. Located at the top of a hill, there was just a tiny puddle during the flood of 2010 that had the houses further down the street under water up to the porch gutters. If I could have picked up that house and taken it with me when I left, I might have. Sometimes I think I should never have left.

The 402 isn’t the only previous residence I miss. The house that X1 and I had in Fitchburg was a version of my dream house. It was a 1600 square foot Victorian style built in 1920 with stained glass windows in the double front doors, kitchen with floor to ceiling storage, dining room, and a huge living room with nine windows and fireplace. It took two steps into the place for me to fall in love with it, even with the hideous paint and linoleum on the countertops. I felt it like a hug.

On the verge of a divorce, my first apartment alone was in a quiet neighborhood in Worcester, back in the time when rents were affordable and a person making $30,000 could afford rent alone. There was a large kitchen with pantry, sewing room, small living room, guest room, and large bedroom. There was off street parking. It was the right size in the right place at the right time and it represented freedom and control over my own situation. Again, the minute I entered the place, I knew it was the right place for me.

Years later, after ending a five-year relationship where the guy and I lived together for three of the years, I moved back to Worcester to an even cooler apartment in a brick building on Elm Street that was built in 1899 and close to historic Elm Park. It took about three seconds to fall in love with the building with a wrought iron cage elevator that stopped on the landings between floors. There were hardwood floors, and a large dining room with a built-in china cabinet with a pass-through window to the pantry off the large kitchen. The massive living room had a working fireplace. I had a sewing room, a spare room, and a walk-in closet. The affordable rent included heat. I have never lived so large. Even still.

The BungaLowell is smaller than any of the previous domiciles. And different. Cute. More expensive, but that is partly the effect of time and place, and everything is pricier nowadays. Everything. Even with all the expenses included, it’s still less expensive than rents which keep climbing. Thank goodness for buying before the hikes of prices and rates in recent years.

Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have left some of the places I once lived. I stalked the second Worcester apartment building online when I first moved back from Tennessee. The Fitchburg house came on the market around the time I bought The BungaLowell and I imagined buying it back until I looked at the photos. The things I loved most about the house had been “improved” away. The kitchen was stripped of character and the amazing cabinets and drawers. A bathroom had been remodeled with a tub set under the sloped ceiling that looked like a major concussion hazard.

Sometimes, when there is nothing more pressing to ponder (and because I live alone and have nobody to talk to) I wonder. What if I had never left? What if I went back? But it wouldn’t be the same. The cities are different. The dwellings are different. The economy is different. More importantly, I am different. Everything is different. As Thomas Wolfe said, “You can’t go home again.” 

random thoughts – Day 1,525 – (Wednesday) – warming up

The weather has executed a quick step into summer and delivered a one-two punch of heat. The temperatures were in the 80s on Tuesday, and today’s high hit 92 by some reports. Knowing it would be hot triggered a debate this morning before I left for the office. Should I put on the A/C for Kiki? Well, should I? Will she be too hot? Will she be ok? 

In the end, it was decided to keep the curtains drawn against the sun and the A/C off. The system hadn’t been run yet this year, and I would be at the office-office downtown if it decided to do anything weird and crunchy sounding like it did a year or two ago.

On the walk downtown.

It turned out to be bright and sunny and warm. Hot, even. With air quality alerts. Yay. In the office, it was chilly and I had on a sweater.

A walk was taken downtown when I decided I wasn’t interested in the lunch carried in to work (frozen, microwave Korean dumplings) and really wanted the salad I neglected to assemble due to running late. This triggered another debate. What to get for food and from where? Subway was considered. The foot long veggie used to be my emergency warm weather lunch go-to for the trifecta of accessibility (next door), affordability, and predictability, but I usually toss half the bread which seems wasteful.

I walked around the block, pondering lunch as if it were as weighty a matter as inflation, immigration, or world peace. Yesterday’s lunch at a work wellness informational event about Multiple Sclerosis was Greek food from Athenian Corner and included a great salad. The restaurant is a mere two streets from the office. And there was a winner. And it was good. Crispy, chilled iceberg lettuce, cucumber slices, wedges of tomato, a slice of green pepper, Kalamata olives, feta cheese, and dressing. Plus an appropriate slice of fresh soft bread with butter. It was perfect.

Back at home, the thermostat read 84 degrees. It felt a bit warm but not as humid as it was outside. Kiki was lounging on the stairs and let me approach and stroke her sweet, soft little face. She was extra charming this morning and greeted me in the dining room with very chatty meowing when I came downstairs, then moved away when I approached to pet her. She eventually let me rub her cheeks, which she enjoys. Some day I will brave getting closer, and then attempt to pick her up.

The A/C was turned on. It works. There were no weird noises, except for the high-pitched screech of anguish from my wallet over the spike that will occur in the electric bill. I had hoped to skate through the entire month without heat or A/C, but that is no longer to be. Chilled air blew from under the couch, chilling my shorts-clad bare lower legs. After a couple hours, the temperature registered on the thermostat showed a drop of a meager three degrees to read 81, but somehow, I was cold enough to be sitting under a blanket. So confusing. I think the thermostat sits in a little heat pocket.

Kiki, meanwhile, after a brief foray through the living room, was back to reclining on the staircase, chillin’ like a villain at the halfway point where the temperature difference from the cool air of downstairs meets the warmer air upstairs. She still seems more like an imaginary pet than a real one, but she’s coming out more often, and like the weather, seems to be warming up. She meows like she’s trying to tell me something, and lets me pet her.

Tomorrow’s forecast is for the high 80s and a chance for a heavy thunderstorm in the afternoon, with possibility of hail. Might be a wild one, but it's a remote day, so I can keep an eye on the homefront.

random thoughts – Day 1,524 – (Tuesday) – flashback to 2010

Sometimes I just need to reach back to the past, mostly because I have run out of things to ramble about from the present. Like today. So here is a little trip back to Tennessee and the younger days of 2010. Some of the basics still hold true, so many years later. For instance, I have gone through many different cell phones since 2010, but I still usually don't answer my cell phone at work. Most of the calls are still from sales people. And for better or worse, I still work in a cubicle. 

Legal Fun - (originally written Wednesday, May 12, 2010)

Current mostly
unanswered phone.

I don’t always answer my cell phone when I am at work. Most of my clothes lack pockets, so it sits on my desk. If I’m away from my desk I may not know it rang until hours later. Sometimes I am right there, in my cubicle in a strip of cubicles, but if the call is from a number I don’t recognize, I may or may not answer it depending upon what is going on around me. Half the time it is some service provider wanting to sign me up for something I don't really want (or don't want to have to pay for). 

At 2:20 this afternoon, a call rang in from an unfamiliar number. I stared at my cell for a second, thought “Oh, why not?” and answered it. The caller identified himself as being with the county sheriff’s department. Only once have I been contacted by a sheriff’s department, and it scared the crap out of my sometimes paranoid self. That time, many years ago at about 11:00 at night, the caller said they had found my cat, which was odd because I didn’t have a cat, but an ex in a town 45 minutes away did. The call came after an unfortunate relationship with a guy who decided to exhibit his adoration by serving as my personal stalker, and I was frozen that night with the fear that  my stalker had tracked me down in my new town.

On today’s call, the first thing racing through my mind was that someone had been injured or was in some kind of trouble. After that, I tried to think of illegal behavior on my part (not even a u-turn!), my car was right outside the office, and I was pretty sure Moose was safe, having never demonstrated the skill to unlock the deadbolt and walk out the door. As my blood suddenly turned to slush I wondered, “Oh, dear Lord, what has happened?” All this mental activity took place in about a nanosecond.

It was a job reference request for a friend. Mr. Law Enforcement asked me a few general questions. Far too few if you ask me. How long I had known my friend? (Many years!) Did I know of any reason why he shouldn’t get the job? (Um, what job? Don’t even know what he applied for.) Did I know of any drinking, drug or gambling habits. (No way, this dude is squeaky clean.) The entire call took one minute and one second according to my phone’s call record. That does not seem like much time to get a thorough job reference, but hey, I don’t work in Human Resources. Maybe it was just a formality. And it was one minute and one second more than some companies invest in reference checks.

Now, in his defense, my friend told me a week ago that he had listed me as a reference. In it’s entirety, the text message read, ”fyi I put u dw as a ref. K”. I asked for more info, as I like to be prepared. None came.

After my chat with the law, I had to have a little fun with it. I texted my friend: “Thanks for the heart attack with call from the sheriff. Was expecting a message of doom. Relieved it was reference call, but geez…”

Him: “Lol, sorry. I owe u, unless u said bad thgs abt me.”

I didn’t even see that one, because I was already busy with: “mostly they cared about your drug, gambling and drinking, so I told them we met in AA, ran a meth lab together and illegal poker and dog fights. You are so in!”

Him: “Lol, u suc, kisses.”

I love my friends. They love me, too. I hope. And I hope he gets the job.

random thoughts – Day 1,523 – (Monday) – domestic weirdness

First rose blossom.

A couple of neighbors up the street have some spectacular roses that began blooming several days ago. At least, that is when I noticed them. My  rosebush has always bloomed later and for a far shorter duration than whatever magic roses the people up the street have. 

My rose bush currently has one bloom, up against the fence, and noticed by accident today. The iris buds nearby are appearing and will emerge soon, and the rhododendron is about ready to start popping with bright blossoms. 

Thank goodness for the routine and familiar house things, because the weird ones are beginning to accumulate. The homeowner mysteries are mounting. A couple of weeks ago, a woodpecker was hammering away on a narrow piece of wood between the vinyl siding and aluminum storm door. Weird. And why?  

Sunday, the washer stopped dead and smelt like burnt rubber after filling with water, then magically finished its job when I tried it again after returning from shopping. The same day had the discovery of the dark chunks on the basement floor that look like coal or burnt wood chips.

Monday offered up a suddenly temperamental toilet tank that wouldn’t fill. After the jiggle the handle thing, normal operations resumed, but then the tank made noise for about five minutes, which felt a lot longer than necessary. The refrigerator has been oddly quieter than it used to be.

On the tech front, my phone is being weird, and for whatever reason, it randomly disconnects from wi-fi. What the what?

Mystery dirt.

Tonight, while mowing near the deck, I noticed a pile of dirt that looks to be stacked about a foot and a half high and reaches high enough to touch the underside of the deck. It looked like it had been sifted and flung against the lattice under the deck, which kept most of it from spilling onto the lawn, but there is a bunch of it in the grass. Maybe the groundhogs are building a new housing development. 

The fact I mowed tonight seems like another weird mystery, but less about the home and more about the owner. It happened after work, after I had been to the gym and walked on the treadmill, then come home for a big salad for supper, I was on the couch, doing the usual after work not a lot, and the next thing I knew, I was pushing the mower in the back yard, racing the clock and the approaching darkness. How did I get there? I don’t know. Maybe I was possessed or something. It seems to be the week for weirdness, so really, it seems that anything is possible.

random thoughts – Day 1,522 – (Sunday) – walking

The annual Lowel General Hospital TeamWalk for Cancer Care raises money to help cancer patients “by paying for medications, nutritional supplements, wigs and prostheses, support groups, skilled nursing visits, transportation, mini-grants, and supportive services to patients of all cancer types” (LGH TeamWalk website). This year’s event was the 25^th annual, and once again, Enterprise Bank was a sponsor and like many other years, employees gathered as a team to walk in the event.

Walkers and tee shirts.

It was a cloudy morning, beset with drizzle, but the atmosphere was bright and light, just like in past years. The start of the event feels like a festival with donuts and coffee, team photos, and displays of tee shirts honoring cancer patients and teams strung around the grounds at Tsongas Center. Groups in brightly colored tee shirts imprinted with company, family, and team names dotted the area.

Our group of bankers in fluorescent green tee shirts gathered on the front steps of Tsongas Center for a photo before scattering back to the coffee and donuts and the opening ceremony. Kids played on the grass and bubbles floated in the air.

I was in a cluster with colleagues from my department and the Technology team. With the good, non-work conversation, the miles flew by. As we started walking, volunteers and Patriot cheerleaders, and UML mascot Rowdy the Riverhawk cheered everyone on. We walked the concrete path along the river before turning at Boott Mills and heading to Merrimack Street and the downtown leg. 

"Take on Me" with brass.

Besides this year’s drizzle, the three mile course included a brass band playing the 80s A-Ha hit “Take Me On” near boarding House Park, the LCCPS panthers step squad on the deck near the trolley museum, an acapella group at St. Anne’s Episcopal Church, local cover band Big Blue Sky near Wannalancit Mills, DJ Mark Watson at the start/finish area, plus countless route guides and supporters. After the walk, restaurant tents offered fruit salad, mac and cheese, hot dogs, hand cut chips, and popcorn. The whole event is very festive.

The step counter had me at 7,700 steps by the end of the walk and it was barely 11:00. That’s a record for the step tally. 

Back at home, life returned to the usual level of glamour. Laundry was started, and as I sat in the living room scrolling social media and playing Words with Friends, I realized the washing machine was exceptionally, eerily quiet. The kitchen held the slight aroma of burned rubber. The washer sat motionless, filled with water and a load of clothes. I turned it off. And back on. And off. And on. Nothing. 

Google searches for “washer won’t agitate" and "washer stopped” began. results were not helpful and involved using tools and dismantling things and a mention of checking the electrical. It's impossible to unplug the washer without pulling it away from the wall, which would be impossible when full of water and clothes.

A visit to the electrical box in the basement (20 steps from the kitchen) yielded no helpful info other than the circuits were all flipped in the same direction and are well labeled, thanks to the previous owner. The home inspector even commented on the beautiful labeling before I bought the house. There was a label for the dryer and two or three marked "kitchen" but none marked for the washer, so that seemed puzzling.

Weird mystery chunks.

Another puzzle in the basement was a scattering of about two dozen odd black chunks of something of varying sizes along one wall. At first I thought it was some kind of unalived insect, but when I got closer I saw dark chunks like broken coal. So weird. Homeownership sure does come with a lot of mysteries.

Back upstairs, the washer smelled burny and wouldn’t turn back on. Of course, I did what any sane, puzzled homeowner with a dilemma would do. I removed myself from the scene of the stress and went to get some groceries. Messed up washer or not, I would still like to eat during the week. It appears that no trip to the Basket can happen without a stop at my place of solace, the St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Shop.

Thirty-three dollars later, I had two small decorative mirrors and eight spring/summer garments to replace the closet full of stuff that no longer fits and is on the way out to the door to its own thrift shop destination.

The grocery store was quick with a short list of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, and mushrooms for salad for the week. While shopping, I was considering the ways to bail the water out of the machine using the small and the large wastebaskets.

The washer seemed to appreciate my absence. I pushed the button and it sprang back to life, just like it always has. That was good news, because there was more laundry to be done, including the recent acquisitions of denim shorts and capris, summer pants, and tops. The initial load plus two others were completed and it felt like I’d dodged a bullet. Or a blown washer motor. 

By evening, the step tally was at 10, 088 steps. Clearly, the answer to me reaching a high step tally is to not be tied to a desk all day. My next vocation should be vacationing, as I usually get to walk a lot then. 

random thoughts – Day 1,521 – (Saturday) – streaming

Once again, the list of potential activities for the day was long-ish. Possible entertainments included Doors Open Lowell, with 19 historic buildings open for tours; an art exhibit reception; drop off book donations for the library book sale; label items for sale at the booth with Mom and Sis; store the winter sweaters and organize the spring/summer things; buy paint for the bedroom; go to the sales yard for the company with the fancy and pricey sheds.

Avocado and tomato on olive bread.

I made it to the gym. Lunch/brunch was a very yummy grilled olive artisan bread slices with avocado and tomato. The current shed was measured (8’ x 10’) to know what size to look for. The stack of paint chips was analyzed and the choices were narrowed from far too many to still a few too many. The bedroom was measured (11’ x 17’) to know how much paint to buy.  Gym clothes were exchanged for jeans, shirt, and bomber jacket in anticipation of shopping. 

There was a time-consuming online rabbit hole filled with fitness watches in search of one that tracks dance. Some claim to have 100 fitness activities, and it took forever between reading reviews and visiting company sites and Amazon. There are watches sitting in multiple shopping carts, waiting for something else to happen. Some of them track stress level and blood pressure which would have been interesting data last week when I was waking up at 3:00 am worrying about work and then sitting at my desk enjoying heart palpitations at 3:00 pm.

There was an exciting Kiki breakthrough when she let me put my hand into her hidey bed and feed her treats from my hand. It used to be a stare down scenario until I placed the treat in front of her and withdrew my hand. But today, she ate from my hand.  

In the end, I didn’t go out. It was raining and a downtown walking tour, which felt interesting on Friday, was suddenly less appealing. The paint purchase can wait until next weekend, closer to the staycation when the painting will take place. The mostly stream of consciousness unplanned activities that bumped the loosely planned ones didn’t surprise me. 

Shot glass travel memories.

The shot glass collection, which has lived in a box since 2007 and on a shelf in the laundry closet since 2016, was unwrapped and inventoried. There are 17 of them, most of which are travel souvenirs with all but one from my own trips. They commemorate vacations in Seoul, the Korean DMZ, Reykjavik, Paris, Las Vegas, New Orleans, York Beach, Washington D.C., Dallas, Fort Worth, San Francisco, Jamaica, Canada. I’ve been to some fun places. I don’t remember who went to Seattle but someone brought me back a memento from there. The intent was to make labels for them for the sales booth, but they need washing and no labels were done.

Like so often happens, suddenly, the day was done and there wasn’t a whole lot to show for it beyond the additional clutter of shot glasses and unfurled packing paper on the dining room table.

Saturdays usually end up being a day to decompress, shake off the workweek, and go with the flow. Often, not much else is accomplished, and it’s usually Sunday afternoon before I’m finally ready to actually do something. I really need a regular schedule of three-day weekends to get through things. One full day to decompress from work, then two for a proper weekend of activities.

random thoughts – Day 1,520 – (Friday) – sunshine and kim bap

Sidewalk concert.

The weather was nice, with a temperature on the cusp of 70 degrees. The workload felt more civilized and less crippling than in the past couple weeks and I was able to get outside for a walk. It was a quick loop over by one of the canals and Appleton Street. 

Lots of people were out enjoying the day, walking, chatting, sitting on benches. Outside one converted mill building, a small audience listened to a guitarist playing from a wheelchair. He was very good, but I couldn't hang around for the rest of his concert. There was a pace to maintain and tasks back at the office.

A crisp, chilled salad for lunch felt suitably filling at the time, but a few hours later, I was hungry. By 4:00, I was starving and trying to hang on until 5:00 quitting time. The emergency provisions in the desk drawer are currently limited to a couple coffee cups. 

While finishing things up for the day and week, my mind wandered to what was available for potential supper at home. The freezer is packed full, but everything recollected was more of an ingredient than a quick to heat meal.

I love you, kim bap.

The wheels were turning, and soon my head was filed with thoughts of kim bap from the new shop near house. That pretty much settled it, and on the way home there was a stop to pick some up. Four customers were in the place when I arrived and I got to see the ramen bar in action. Some of the stainless steel machines on the counter were in use. Each of the customers had a large stainless steel bowl with ramen on the warmer of the machine. Two of the customers ordered Brown Sugar Milk and now I'm curious about that. 

There was more signage in the shop than the last time I was there. One listed additional items for the ramen, others explained how to make the ramen in the machines and when to add other items like the egg, cheese, and whatever. It was interesting, and I’ll probably try it some day. For now, I'm happy for access to kim bap.

After supper, it was TV time. Madame Web was finished, and the new season of Bridgerton started. I had forgotten that the plan was to mow the yard, and when I remembered, it was still light out and possible, but I decided to skip it. Maybe tomorrow. For now, it's time to savor Friday.

random thoughts – Day 1,519 – (Thursday) – surprise and wonderment

Work has been delivering surprises and wonderment. The surprise extreme short-notice projects keep rolling in and heaping onto already overloaded plates. I wonder how much longer the team can hang on before we all end up incapacitated from heart attacks or strokes. Or incarcerated for murder. 

Zills workshop!

Beyond work, there were also surprises. I recently signed up and paid for an online program for playing zills, then forgot about it. The daily announcements were routed to my email spam account, while the fake emails about orders at places I don’t shop with landed in the inbox. 

Today was day three of the program, and I finally remembered about the program. There was a bit of catching up to do after work, so my zills were gathered and the program logged in to. I got through day one and most of day two but it was getting a little frustrating so it was time to redirect my energy. The "musical counting method" really threw me off so some of my counts were closer to swears. I wonder if swears are a counting method. 

Dahlia no longer
distressed.

I switched gears to reviewing photo files for possible show entries. It started out fun, but after nearly an hour of it which included choking up a bit when seeing pictures of Moose or Winston, the clock read 7:45 and I just needed to step away from the laptop.

A quick visit outside to the front yard to check the mailbox and look around at the world beyond my computer screen revealed a nice surprise. The dahlia bought last Saturday at Lowes from the distressed plant discount rack (which look more tired than distressed) bloomed. Being in the ground and the recent sunshine and the rain overnight seem to have helped. I wonder why the holes I dig for myself don’t have the same restorative powers. 

random thoughts – Day 1,518 – (Wednesday) – soul mate

Kiki came out of hiding this morning. I was on the couch, engaged in the pre-work morning coffee consumption ritual when Kiki emerged from behind the couch and headed to the hidey bed under the buffet at the recently new, slower pace. She used to cover the distance at an Olympic-level sprint, but in the last week or so, she has begun to take it at more of a casual saunter.

Kiki on exhibit.

She paused outside the little bed area and composed herself in a tidy arrangement like a work of art, sitting under the buffet in my view long enough for me to notice, turn on the phone camera, and take seven quick photos of varying but mostly crappy quality. 

After the brief photo shoot, she stood, turned 180 degrees, and delicately stepped into her special little space. When she sits towards the back of the little covered bed, she is hidden deep in shadow and the only way I can see her is to kneel on the floor and peek inside with the aid of the flashlight on my phone. Sometimes she lets me rub her face.

When I returned from the office, Kiki was nowhere to be seen. After 2.5 hours without even a peep from her, I kneeled on the couch to look behind it. Keeks was curled up in the space between the back of the couch and the wall. She spends a lot of time back there, probably contemplating life or maybe devising new and even more clever ways to avoid me. 

Miss Kiki has expertly calculated the length of my arm plus about a half-inch, and remains precisely that far away from me most of the time. She might let me inch close enough to rub her head or cheek or massage her little shoulder blades, but it is always on her terms and only if she is in the mood for it.

This mindset is not a foreign concept to me. I get it, little Kiki. I really, really get it. Hiding out in the house, not speaking for hours, avoiding others until it gets boring, push-pull behavior. We seem to be cut from the same cloth and it seems I’ve met my soul mate.

random thoughts – Day 1,517 – (Tuesday) – blue skies and balmy

When I checked the morning weather forecast, like I do each day before figuring out how many layers to dress in, I read forecasted temps in the 70s for the afternoon. A cotton J Crew button front was selected, with the idea that it was a remote work day and I could easily grab a sweater if needed. 

Office-office days require more methodical and thorough planning. No matter what the temperature is outside, it's usually freezing at my desk, unless the central HVAC is on the fritz and it's 98 degrees and stifling like it was a few times too many last summer. It's all about layers that can come off and go back on as needed throughout the day.

Blue sky over downtown.

The morning was cloudy, but the skies cleared and the sun came out. The front door and a few windows were open and fresh, balmy breezes wafted through the house. White fluffy flowery dandelion puff stuff floated through the air like snow.

Imagine my surprise this afternoon when I moved my phone on my desk and the home screen illuminated with the time and temperature reading 82 degrees. Heavenly! I was focused on work and it hadn’t registered how warm it is. It registered that I wasn't freezing, but beyond that, I was quite comfortable.

I had a meeting after work, and drove downtown under a blue sky with sunshine that required sunglasses. Sunglasses! I even put the A/C on in the car to check to see if it works. It was a short ride, and the car was still warm when I arrived at my parking destination. Note to self – test the A/C again just in case it needs service before summer weather settles in. 

Bunny at supper.

A little brown bunny was enjoying some fine dining in the back yard. Earlier in the day, a groundhog was traveling its route from the shed, diagonally across the yard towards the house, pausing to chomp every now and again. 

Between the bunnies and groundhogs, it seems the lawn should be a lot shorter than it is. It would be nice if they would eat enough to evenly trim the lawn and spare me from having to mow, but it usually doesn’t work like that. The violets and other flowering plants that seem to be the star of the backyard menu, and not so much the small sea of greens. 

random thoughts – Day 1,516 – (Monday) – may delights

Porch lilacs.

This is possibly my favorite time of the year with the long daylight. The warming temperatures with sunshine mean the heat can be turned off,  the air conditioning isn’t needed yet, making it budget friendly. Overall, it's a delight. 

The drawback is the pollen and the resulting allergy symptoms of itchy eyes and runny nose. Despite the mostly mild allergy symptoms, it was pleasant being outside in the beautiful weather for a quick midday break and then again after work. Thank goodness for tissues. 

The lilac tree – or maybe it’s a bush, despite trying to research it, I still don’t know – visible across the yard from the desk, was looking shaggy with shoots growing from the main branches, some lanky branches with blossoms, and some dead wood. A few minutes with the loppers and it was trimmed and tidier, and the nearby peonies had some breathing room.

Face full.

The lily of the valley under the lilac is marching further into the yard and is very fragrant. It's always a nice surprise when a pleasing scent penetrates the sinuses. For many years, my sense of smell seemed to be on sabbatical and I couldn't detect pleasant scents, just yucky ones.

The clipped lilac branches with blossoms are now in the blue water pitcher serving as a vase and set on the little table near the front door. When the front door was open, the breezes carried the lilac scent into the house, like nature's plug-in air freshener. Again, it was a joy to be able to smell it.

The clipped branches without flowers were snapped and stuffed into the yard waste bin at the curb, which wasn’t emptied today. Pickup seems to run a day late every week and maybe the city should just push it to Tuesday and be done with it.

The groundhog was back and busy with the dried leaf mission, emerging from under the shed that is disintegrating at an alarming rate. It appeared with a face full of leaves and made the diagonal journey across the already shaggy yard that was mowed a week ago and needs it again. 

Today, I was able to get a photo of the ground critter at work, but the object of the task is still a mystery. To me, anyway. It probably makes perfect sense to the parties actually involved. 

random thoughts – Day 1,515 – (Sunday) – moms and stuff

There was another effort made to see the Aurora on Saturday night. It involved driving to a neighboring town to a golf club on a sort of a hill. By “sort of a hill,” I mean it’s a hill, but not like the death-defying hilly streets of Fitchburg that formed my perception of hills and elevation. 

The sky was mostly clear and stars could be seen. It wasn’t as dark up there as I imagined it might be, but the main building was still open and aglow with lights, the parking lot lights were on, and I wasn’t the only one with the idea to be there to look at the sky, so there was periodic traffic and headlights. 

After 45 minutes, I had a couple photos with only a barely perceptive hint of muddy green and I was getting cold so it was time to head home. I ended up staying up too late, which meant I overslept in the morning.

Cleaning off the ick.

Mother's Day dawned and I finally opened a card that had come in Friday's mail with a return address from Kiki (by way of my thoughtful cousin). The return address tipped me off to the potential contents, which is why I waited.

The Mother’s Day plan was for lunch at my sister’s house, located between my house and Mom’s. On the way, I stopped at the car wash to remove the disgusting crusty coating of pollen and use the vacuum to liberate the floor mats of the winter sand and grit. 

My sister always puts out a great lunch, and today it was buffalo wings, barbecue wings, chicken nuggets, and pulled pork. I brought a big bowl of tossed salad with lettuce, red cabbage, broccoli, mushrooms, cucumber, and grape tomatoes. We had strawberry shortcake, Mom's favorite dessert. 

There was a video call with my niece in Vegas. It felt like a lot less time had passed, but four, or maybe four and a half hours later, I was driving back home with a hosta plant and some food from my sister.

Hoping the mulch lasts longer
 than last year's.

The hosta was put into the ground. Grass was pulled. Mulch was put out. Just as I was finishing the yard work, it began to rain a bit. The timing was perfect. Now, it needs to just be a light rain. Last summer, right after I spread mulch, the monsoons began and it was all washed away. It felt like flushing money down the storm drain. Hopefully, the weather this summer will be less wet. 

There is still work to be done, because yardwork never ends. The fencing set around the rosebush last year to keep Winston from wandering into it and being injured by the thorns can come out. It's surprising it lasted through the winter, but it was mostly rain like the summer and autumn before it.