random thoughts – Day 1,185 – (Thursday) – neighborhood theater

During the repair.

The kitchen window is whole again. Neither the window repair guy nor I have a clue what caused the mysterious hole, but at least it’s fixed. 

He even took a couple minutes to check out the freshly broken handle on the deck slider. I have a part number and place to order it from, but I didn’t realize the handle had a key lock on the outside when we looked up the part. I clearly never paid much attention to the outside handle, and there was no key for it with the house. It took nearly seven years to notice this little factoid. 

The evening was nice and breezy and the porch windows and handle-free slider door were wrestled open. Those stupid slider clip things on the bottom of the porch windows are hard to slide and usually require the assistance of tools to operate and raise the window. Today’s tool helper was a prong from the three-pronged garden tool thingy.

As I fought to open the windows, a guy in jeans and a snug white tee shirt with Calvin Klein emblazoned across the chest sat on the front steps of the house across the street. He was reading or texting or playing a game or whatever phone activity is quiet and involves looking at the screen. The downstairs guy was vacuuming and cleaning a car and the upstairs guy was wandering around the driveway and yard. I noticed Calvin Klein guy earlier while letting Winston outside. From across the street, Calvin Klein guy looked kind of handsome and it occurred to me for a nanosecond that I should text upstairs guy for details. Big surprise, I didn’t. I’m not bold like that.

The calm of the porch.

While I read on the calm and breezy porch, suddenly, a lot of yelling erupted outside. Apparently, there was another community theater performance debuting across the street. There was, “Dude, you fu**ng bi*ch,” and “Dude, you’re just a fu**ing drug addict” and “Dude, I put a baby in you and now you f**k me like this.” There were multiple rounds of this limited dialogue, plus something about a car registration. 

Of course, I looked out the window. I enjoy live theater, and I didn’t even have to move from my seat where I was reading. Calvin Klein shirt was pacing and yelling into his phone. Apparently, he was the guest star in the latest Neighborhood Theater production, known for loud delivery of limited scripting. 

The homeowner adopted a voice that sounded amazingly calm, like a therapist would speak, and the total opposite of his yelling at his wife voice. He told his friend, “Man, it’s not worth it” and “don’t go over there, you know they’ll call the cops on you.” There was also something about trailer trash.

Calvin Klein yelling man calmed down. A few pages of my book later, he got into his car, executed a precise three point turn in front of my house, and drove away. I hope there is a sequel. I’m dying to know if Calvin Klein shirt went to see the trailer trash baby momma who did him wrong.