random thoughts – Day 1,175 – (Monday) – Winston

This morning provided a gentle reminder about the reasons for some of the structure built into daily life at The BungaLowell. One habit was to close the bedroom door at night before going to sleep. Some people do it for fire safety, but I did it to keep the dogs contained at night.

The closed door was eventually replaced with a baby gate to improve air flow while containing the dogs, especially when the windows are open in the back bedroom to catch the night breezes. Almost without fail, the gate has been set in the doorway each night for several years. Almost.

Winston loves bed.

Last night, the regular bedtime routine was enacted. Winston gets his cookies, started ages ago when Moose would get an upset stomach and vomit overnight, which was helped by getting something into his stomach before bed. The gate is set up, and we go to bed, where Winston burrows under the top comforter.

Lately, many nights, Winston, like moose before him, wakes up at least once, and usually more times during the night to go out. When he is on the bed, I feel him moving around, which wakes me up and I help him to get down from the bed. The gate is opened, we go downstairs, and he goes out. When he comes back inside, he gets a drink of water and eventually makes his way back upstairs.

Lately, I’ve been too tired to wait for him, and I head upstairs and slide back into bed without him. When I wake up in the morning, Winston is curled up asleep in his upstairs bed. Once in the past week, he was asleep in his downstairs bed when I came down.

This morning, when I got up, Win arose from the upstairs bed and headed down the stairs. The gate wasn’t up from the midnight pee trip because I was too tired to wait for him. When I went downstairs, there were two big wet spots on the rug. That meant a wet clean up in the dining room.

Win ate, and went back to his bed. As I finished coffee and headed to the remote office to begin work, I noticed a yellow fluffy barf spot on the same rug. Poor guy was having a rough morning.

Winston crashed on the couch.

A couple hours later there was a new wet spot in a different place on the same rug, this time in front of the door. I don’t know how I missed Winston’s request to go outside, but clearly, I did. 

He spent the rest of the day sleeping, and the one time he came to see me at my desk, he was trembling. I cuddled him for a minute and then, assuming he was cold, put a sweater on him. He went back to the living room. He must be feeling poorly, because he didn't play any of his favorite games like sitting behind the desk chair, going in and out all day, and begging for cookies. He hung out in the living room.

When I returned from Finnish class, Win was waiting by the back door, like usual. He's still a bit more sedate, but he was ready for a biscuit.

Win has been an amazing navigator since losing his vision, and I have avoided changing the placement of furniture, not that there are many options in small rooms in a small house. Lately, he’s seemed more disoriented, walking head-on into furniture, doorways, and walls. Sometimes he sits still, like he used to do when he could see and would stare at me when he wanted something, but lately he sits facing a wall or a chair and I doubt he knows where he is. My heart cracks a little bit each time. I really wish he could tell me how he is feeling so I could know what to do.