“Remoted – Hybrid” – Day 898 (Tuesday) social experiment

Tuesday night’s entertainment is a reality dating show called Cosmic Love. Check that – it keeps being referred to by the personalities involved as a “social experiment.” Unlike Indian Matchmaker which involved a human professional matchmaker who appeared on camera as a participant, Cosmic Love uses astrology to make love matches. The astrology matching part is interesting, but the disembodied voice of “The Astro Chamber” providing narration and astrological info is kind of weird.

Every person on the show is attractive and fit and looks like they stepped out of a luxury goods ad campaign or a toothpaste ad. The teeth are all perfect and blinding in their whiteness. The casting call for this show must have read something like “Buff swimsuit models only. No regular people. Nines and tens only.” Maybe the narrator isn’t attractive enough to be on camera and was forced to be represented as a glowing orb.

The Astro Chamber tells Connor about his match.

The eyelashes on some of the uber-stylish women look so thick and heavy that it seems it requires huge effort to keep their eyes open, and the super long nails have me wondering how these women can even get dressed. How do you zip anything, put in contact lenses, or get those insane lashes attached with two-inch talons? I know the lashes and long nails are hugely popular, so maybe some real-world people can fill me in on the logistics of these important details. Old people want to know. This one, anyway.

In one segment, groups of three are doing an activity involving body paint.  And magically, or more likely, on a cue from some producer, all the painting trios run together and “spontaneously” engaged in a paint fight. Seriously? And then, the body painted people break off into twos to engage in earnest one-on-one conversations about their feelings, while still covered in paint which is kind of funny. Both “funny ha ha” and “funny peculiar” like Mummu used to say. 

"Spontaneous" paint fight.

One of the guys talked about his “comfortability.” That’s not even a word. Is “comfort” too hard to say? Another guy said “intellectual” like “into-a-lectual.” Do the extra syllables make it sound smarter? I mean “into-a-lectual.”

One girl said, “I’m so beautiful, I’m not used to not being wanted.” Wow. Mummu’s words jumped immediately into my head. If she thought someone was being conceited, she used to say, “I love me, who do you love?” Either her spirit is watching Cosmic Love with me or I've finally, totally morphed into her.

It might be time to take up a new hobby besides streaming crap on TV. Maybe I can hire my own matchmaker. Perhaps get some long coffin nails and try to figure out how to function in daily life with them. Or start my own “social experiment” and make up fake words. Life goals.