“Remoted - Hybrid” – Day 568 (Tuesday)

Lunch is served on the finest foil.

Today I brought a foil wrapped Fluffernutter sandwich to the office-office for lunch. It was on multigrain bread instead of white, because I am, after all, an adult. This particular sandwich delicacy had been on my mind for well over a week since I ran a red light. Stay with me here. 

I was driving home from somewhere – dance class and the farm stand on Sunday, or possibly bike riding on Saturday. I don’t get out much for fun, so it would be safe to assume I’d actually remember a bit more clearly where I go and when, but that’s not how it seems to be working these days. Thank goodness for diaries and calendars. 

Anyway, the radio was on a local independent station that features affable and chatty-bordering-on-annoying announcers /personalities /music button pushers who ramble in between songs and sometimes even say what the song that just played was or what song is coming up next. The radio dude was talking about the 16^th What the Fluff Festival in Somerville, Massachusetts, held to celebrate Marshmallow Fluff, the beloved concoction invented in the town. The festival was happening that weekend. Ok, cool. I’ve heard of this festival. Someday I might go, if I have people to go with.

But the announcer said “MASHmellow Fluff.” I thought I misheard him, because what doofus would say “mashmellow.” This wasn’t the famous Boston thing of changing an “r” to “ah.” This was “mash” like mashed potatoes. He said it again, confirming what I thought I heard, and I’m correcting him, saying, “DUDE, it’s MARSHmallow.” In all, he said it wrong three times that I heard. Trust me, after the first time, I was listening hard.

I got a little distracted over “mashmellow” and accidentally ran a red light through a big intersection, and halfway through I went from arguing with a radio announcer who would never know that I was correcting his marshmallow massacre to suddenly whisper yelling, “Oh, fu*$!” Luckily for me, I was the only thing moving through the intersection, because that could have gone very, very badly.

Proof I was right.

Then, the nerves kicked in as I half expected to see the brilliant blue LED lights of a police vehicle magically appear like they sometimes do. I wondered how to explain running a red light because a radio announcer totally mangled marshmallow with MASHmellow. Luckily, no traffic enforcement officials appeared and I was more attentive the rest of the ride home, although I did keep pondering the mashmellow thing. And when I got home, I pulled out my tub of Fluff to verify that I was correct with the "marsh." I was. 

So that’s how it started. That is why I had to buy peanut butter while grocery shopping this most recent Sunday past. That is the reason why I accidentally ran a red light. It's what led to a peanut butter and fluff sandwich for lunch today, some nine or ten days after hearing “mashmellow” and a few days before National Fluffernutter Day. Yes, that is also a thing. It’s October 8.