“Remoted” Workday 201 / Day 304 (Thursday)

The guy next door is becoming a source of entertainment. His age is somewhere around mid-20s, and he is the guy with the deceased red Audi planted in the back yard for about a year, from which he sold the wheels months ago. He also has a functioning silver car that he has done work on, hammering the wheel wells to accommodate the wheels that don’t seem to fit therein, replacing the cinder block that held down the trunk lid with a system of chains and screws. The rearview mirror is festooned with a half-dozen black pine tree air freshers, and a vinyl decal on one window declares "Locally Hated."

Four or five times each day between 3:00 pm and 10:00 pm, the car runs in the driveway between our houses. It’s loud and deep and rumbling, and when I’m in my office space working, vibrations can be felt through the floor. It usually runs from around 30 to 60 minutes. The car is driven very rarely, sometimes just to the end of the driveway to park in front of the house and run for a while before being returned to the spot the driveway. 

Wednesday Date night?

More than just a transportation device, the silver car doubles as the young man’s man cave where he prepares and smokes his weed, sometimes rolled, sometimes in a bong. Judging by the fragrance that seeps from the car and can be enjoyed from my driveway, back yard, and in the warm weather, open-windows months, in my home office/kitchen, he’s going to need a lot more air fresheners.

Last night, a Honda was parked in front of the house next door. It looked like the same Honda that is parked there every once in a while, and that blocked me from parking in my driveway on Christmas. In the driveway, around 9:00, the silver car with the passenger-side black front quarter panel and the loud exhaust system was running in the driveway. Neighbor guy’s mom’s car was tandem parked behind the silver car, so it didn’t seem there were plans to leave.

The car runs loud enough to require turning up the volume on the TV. At 10:00, when the dogs were let out the back door to potty, I noticed light from inside the car. A young lady with dark curls sat in the passenger seat and the guy from next door sat in the driver’s seat. Each was looking at their cell phone in the comfort of the loud car. It seems the young lady drove to the neighbor’s house and got out of her car to sit with him in his car and look at her phone.

There are questions. Is this the state of dating during the pandemic because at 9:00 on a Wednesday night there is no place to go? Is the silver car the winter date car because it runs and has heat? Do they sit in his car instead of hers because he did the inviting? How many dates per gallon does the car get?