Recently, I reactivated my account on the Facebook dating app, which was active over the summer and fall. During that time, there were a few text conversations with actual full sentences, complete thoughts, and exchanges of ideas, but then the communications fizzled. Mostly, it was dudes writing to say “Hi, you’re pretty. We should meet.” Ummm, slow your roll, sir. Also, I think not.
 |
| Matches! |
The app contains hints about starting a conversation like “Comment on a photo.” There are optional profile questions you can answer such as, “What is your favorite time of day / book / movie?” and “What three foods could you never live without” and “If you could live anywhere for a year, where would it be?” A lot of guys don’t bother filling any of those out, which makes it impossible to respond their riveting message of “Hi” with much more than “Hi, how are you?” Maybe they think they are being mysterious, but I don’t have the patience for it.
There are quite a few men out there whose profile looks like a catalogue for a motorsports company. There are no write ups, no prompt answers, and just photos of expensive toys like a boat, a motorcycle, or a car and sometimes one of each. I wonder how many of these guys have also complained that their exes were only interested in them for the boat / car / motorcycle / money.
In other cases, there is a profile writeup, and it is riddled
with red flags. One Noman Bates wannabe wrote his profile as a memorial for his
mother. For real. It reads (typos and absence of grammar are his) “I’m loving memory of my sweet
mom you’ll be missed and I want you to know you’re the sweetest mom ever.”
Oh, and he’s looking for his “one last love.” Sounds to me like he's already met
her, and no other woman stands a chance at this point. Good luck ladies, I'll sit this one out.
One guy’s spartan profile consisted of a photo of a beautiful Christmas tree and one of a dog, and the full content of his writeup is that he is interested in “something casual.” I smell trouble and it's probably a wife or girlfriend. Another guy has one to three much younger women with him in every one of his several photos. His profile says he doesn't have children, so maybe he fancies himself a modern Hugh Hefner. So much nope.
Several men describe themselves as “a God fearing man.” Is that code for something? If your God is something to be feared, that’s a hard pass for me, thanks, but maybe the mysterious guy with a Christmas tree photo who is clearly looking for a hookup could use some guidance.
No comments:
Post a Comment