“Remoted” – Day 159 (Saturday)

The opening act.

The sound of power tools rang through the air at 9:00 this morning, along with voices attempting to yell over them. Of course, I had to look.

Two guys were across the street. Within the fortress-like privacy fencing of the house lives a massive tree, at least twice the height of the house. Long branches hang close to the power lines strung from the pole to the houses on my side of the street. A man waved over his head a power saw on an extension rod. Branches rained down around him. It looked like the opening clown act at a circus.

Meanwhile, a shirtless, barefoot man with a large question mark tattooed in the center of his back and a cigarette dangling from his mouth, paced in front of the driveway and yelled at Clown Guy waving the power saw. Question Mark turned up the music from the boom box stereo and “Hot Blooded” blared. Sufficiently pumped from the pacing and the music, Question Mark dragged a recycle bin and a cooler closer to the tree and climbed onto the bin. Clown Guy handed him the extended power saw (teamwork!). Perched atop the now sinking lid, Question Mark assumed the overhead cutting / acrobat act.

Question Mark takes over the saw work.

Periodically, a woman in a maroon tee shirt appeared from nowhere. She dragged the fallen branches up the embankment separating us from Beaver Brook and made them disappear, just like a magician. The "No Dumping per LPD" sign was purely decorative in this production.

As entertainment, this show had it all. Comedy, magic tricks, acrobatics, tension, illegal dumping, half naked performers. I couldn’t help wondering what their insurance coverage was.

I texted the homeowner to express concern over the waving of power cutting tools near the power lines from atop the trash bin. Happy Homeowner responded, “He’s a lil weird,” and added, “one of the best tree guys.” Wow. I'm not convinced.

Neighbor Guy next door was sent a text asking if he and his wife were also enjoying the Saturday morning live action cartoon. He asked if I saw when the dude with the chain saw chugged the beer at 9:30. Sadly, I missed that product placement hydration moment.

By 10:45, the action had moved inside the fence and deep into the tree, with a guy up in the branches, and Magician and Clown Guy on the ground assisting with ropes. A voice in the tree screamed and swore when the rope holders pulled the rope at the wrong time, and the guy in the tree had “to go back up and reset it.” Happy Homeowner, now onsite, observed the proceedings. A car of spectators arrived and parked at the end of the street below the tree branches. Word must have gotten out.

It began to thunder. The yelling from the tree shifted to shouts of, “It’s just thunder, let’s keep going” and “It’s not even raining yet.” The newly arrived spectators, known by name, were asked to relocate their vehicle to safety. At 11:00, the rain arrived with thunder loud enough to drown out the chain saw and the yelling. Happy Homeowner, Clown Guy, and Magician scattered for shelter, leaving the guy up in the tree. So much for teamwork.

That concluded today’s show. A lackluster ending after such a buildup, but I heard they will be back tomorrow morning. I can't wait for the next episode.