“Remoted” – Day 201 (Saturday)

The dogs were a royal pain in the butt on the Friday overnight shift. At 10:30 pm, I closed my eyes and fell into a blissful slumber immediately. It was destroyed at 11:30 pm, when Moose woke me to go out. At 12:30 am, Moose woke me to go out again. Then at 1:10 am, Winston took over the shift and woke me to go out. At 5:00 am, Moose was back on wake up duty. At 7:15 am, Moose woke me to go out, at which point, despite feeling exhausted, I gave up and stayed up. Thank goodness all nights are not like this.

To throw salt on the wound, as I dragged my unnecessarily tired butt through the day, those darling little brats slept. They were probably tired from being up a million times during the night. I certainly know the feeling, and once or twice it occurred to me to wake them up, just because. It’s not like they could open the door for me or get me food, so there was no real benefit to having them awake and would just be wasted energy.

While I was in the kitchen chopping vegetables for a quiche, they awoke from one of the many naps and hauled ass towards the sound of the knife and cutting board. While it wasn’t my intent to arouse them, it still felt a bit like payback.

Later, I was settling in for a quiet night (aren't they all?) with a glass of wine and the Netflix show Emily in Paris. The show was chosen so I could revisit my dreams of being in Paris from back when I was young and enjoyed entertaining such frivolous things. You know, back before life crushed the dreams, my heart turned cynical, and my soul went dead. Ah, youth and the good old days. 

Adorned in Eau de Pepe Le Pew ... 

Anyway. Back to today. I was warming apple fruit crisp in the microwave to accompany the second glass of wine (or was it the third?) while the dogs were outside. This was an efficient use of time while waiting for them. In an insanely short amount of time, there was an insistent scratch on the storm door and two doggy faces staring through the window. 

The door was opened and the two dogs scrambled inside, accompanied by a stench cloud. One of the boys (or both), apparently had a close encounter with Pepe le Pew. A cloud of Eau de Skunk followed them in. Much like the last encounter with Pepe, it is heavy on the mustard overtones.

It didn’t take long to determine which dog got up close and personal, and luckily, it was just one of them. Winston began running around the house, rubbing on every fabric surface available – both dog beds, the toss pillows in the dog beds, the couch, and something upstairs. As the speed trials were underway, I was checking the Internet for the magic recipe I used the last time – baking soda, dish liquid, and peroxide. 

When the speed demon returned from his frantic laps of the house, I managed to catch him at enough brief spots to wipe him down with the solution. It took a few comical minutes of Winston dashing from bed to bed to couch to rub himself all over the fabrics, and me chasing him with a wash cloth with the baking soda paste. The heavy aroma seemed under control until another trip outside. Re-entering the house was like walking face first into a wet, skunk scented blanket. Thank goodness for Febreze.