“Remoted” – Workday 49 / Day 64 (Tuesday)

Monday may have had a lot of headache action, but it ended with a laugh.

A package arrived with yesterday's regular mail – a plastic covered parcel sealed with packing tape, about the size of a long loaf of bread and about as light as air. Without checking the return address, I thought it must be the mask ordered from a Houston-based seller on Etsy, with some extra wrapping to keep it from being lost in some space in a truck. There have been some small items shipped in bulky and oversized wrapping, so it seemed possible.

Tiny TP loves me.

I cut my way into the super secure, heavy duty industrial-strength packaging to find ten of the daintiest, tiny-ass sized rolls of toilet paper, straight from China according to the return address label. (I finally looked at it). Each is individually wrapped in plastic with the endearing message, “The feeling of falling in love with you.” Oh, China-based Amazon seller, you crack me up. This is the most romantic thing that has been said to me in a decade. My toilet paper loves me! Back at ya, tiny TP!

The size was so surprising that the last full roll of normal-ass sized Family Dollar store-brand toilet paper was taken from the closet for comparison. The new straight from China TP that loves me is narrower than even the newly narrow sized paper. (Have you noticed how TP rolls keep getting narrower? Toilet paper holders look stupidly wide compared to the ever-shrinking rolls.) And these newly arrived rolls are even narrower. One and three-quarters of these new rolls would fit on my holder. Yes, I checked. Don't judge, non-TV screen entertainment options are limited here. 

Portable! Like cash!

That isn't all I checked. In the spirit of science, I checked my slightly large but not gigantic purse. Three rolls fit into it without much trouble or having to remove anything. This could be handy if and when I ever leave the house. Perhaps there might be a need to trade a roll for a better spot in a line or a packet of yeast, which I hear is now scarce due to all the at-home bread making. But it’s almost too cute to use. Maybe I’ll just save it as a COVID-19 stay at home commemorative souvenir.