“Remoted” – Saturday Three

This book could take another
20 years to finish.

Saturday Three of remote life started, like every other day, with coffee. It was supposed to be relaxing and leisurely and involve reading a book. I tried, but the book was abandoned. I really wanted to read this book, but I may have discovered why it has sat in the bookcase for over 20 years unread. It’s called “Pretty Good For A Woman,” and it’s about Elsie Dunn / Evelyn Scott, who was born in Clarksville, Tennessee, where I lived for 12 years. She had an interesting life. This book about her, however, kind of makes my head hurt.

Between the dense, single spaced text, the exceptionally long sentences, and pretentious word choices, in nearly two hours, my eyes were practically bleeding and I had reached only page 26. There were numerous interruptions to let the canine royalty out of the fortress which certainly affected progress, but the mystery of why this book wasn't finished the first time I tried reading it may have been solved. 

The book was set aside, and the pace of the day was shifted from relaxing to more productive when spring cleaning commenced. Kitchen woodwork, paneling, rugs, and floors were vacuumed. The floors were cleaned with a Swiffer Wet Jet but there was no dancing to the Swiffer version of “Whip It” like the lady on the commercials did. Scrubbing dog schmutz off the floor doesn’t inspire me to dance with my mopping implement. The hardest part of cleaning the kitchen was keeping Moose out while the floor was wet. The wastebasket and the vacuum were placed in the doorway, but Moose the Magician figured out how to shove the waste basket aside and strut in like the king of everything.

During the afternoon, the sun came out, creating ideal weather conditions for a turd harvest. The land is fertile, the crops are bountiful. In addition to plentiful poo, the irises and bleeding heart are coming up. As the harvesting activity concluded, a UPS truck showed up, and today it was not just to turn around in my driveway. It was a delivery for me – the wireless keyboard and mouse ordered Thursday arrived early, which is good. What really needs to arrive early is the dog food order I foolishly checked as “not a rush” before verifying the level of food on hand. The $3 Amazon digital credit for no rush is going to be great when the dogs are eating the couch because the food ran out. That will not be good.