“Remoted” – Day 513 (Wednesday)

Find my ass money!

A Valpack coupon mailer arrived recently. I always look at the coupons, which is how I found the company that cleaned the gutters a couple weeks ago. One of the coupons in the new pack is for the unclaimed property division and the website “findmassmoney.com.” For days, every time I saw the coupon on the counter, I read it as “find my ass money” and chuckled. It’s not completely wrong. It is the entire point of visiting the site, so maybe I’ll suggest they change it. I finally visited the site, and sadly, neither my ass nor my wallet found money. 

Recent texts I sent to my sister said “Call me when you can. Not urgent, just catch up.” Each time, my brain says “just ketchup” like I’m placing a food order. A couple times the ketchup thought led me to think about a time many moons ago when my sister and I were young. We were in the kitchen baking or cooking or some other domestic entertainment and I called her “Betty Quaker” in a joining of Betty Crocker and Quaker Oats. After that, we declared the Quaker Oats guy and Betty Crocker married, which we thought was hysterical. For a long time we called each other Betty Quaker while in the kitchen.

Sometimes the dumbest stuff is amusing. Thank goodness.