random thoughts – Day 1,177 – (Wednesday) – busting out

As far as work weeks go, this one has been pretty good. Or maybe it’s just that June is a beautiful month and the light that extends until after 8:30 makes it feel like the best month of the year, even if the weather has been a bit temperamental. The song "June is Bustin' Out All Over" from "Carousel" keeps popping into my head, which is great because sometimes it almost drowns out the tinnitus.

First peony of the year.

Monday was a satisfying work day that far exceeded the recently designated acceptable level of “tolerable.” Tasks moved along to the next step in a process, and a couple were finished, delivered, and crossed of the list. This was big progress for a Monday. The work successes and the easy ride to Fitchburg for Finnish class with light traffic had me wondering if maybe it wasn’t really Monday at all. 

Tuesday in general had a lot of weirdness with the Waste Management truck driver peeing at the end of the street and a host of other WTF moments, but work was pretty good and tasks continued to move forward. 

Wednesday was more of the same, but in a good way. Projects were entered into the review system and others at the design desk moved forward. Wednesday “Snack and Share” is still happening, and today it was Oreos and candies.

Social interaction with colleagues took place at a new employee mixer organized by HR that I attended with the new team member from another department for whom I am the “New Hire Buddy.” It was a nice break with beautifully catered treats including a cheese board, veggie tray, passed hors d’oeuvres, and sweet treats. A sheet of 20 questions provided a fun ice breaker and conversation starter, and it was perfectly acceptable to walk up to someone and blurt out nuggets like “Do you have any scars?” or “Have you ever run a marathon?” (one banker has run 10 of them!).

Rose bush looks good.

In the yard this week at The BungaLowell, flowers are blooming front and back. The back yard irises have bloomed, and the first peony opened Tuesday. The front yard irises are done blooming but the rose bush is loaded with blooms and looks the best I can remember it looking in years. 

Things feel lighter and brighter. It’s a good feeling. It might be premature to even think it, but maybe the personal cloud of gloom that has hovered for the past nearly two years is moving on.

random thoughts – Day 1,176 – (Tuesday) – some days

Around 9:00 this morning, a loud truck moved through the neighborhood and could be heard on neighboring streets. The guess was it might be for the yard waste pickup that didn’t happen on Monday. At 9:15, the noisy truck backed down my street all the way to the end where there were no barrels to empty. It stopped and the driver got out and walked around to the back of the truck. I could see a puddle appearing and growing in front of his feet, visible under the truck. It seemed he was enjoying a nice long pee. Thanks, pal. And WTF?

June hot soup.

The return to chilly weather launched a rewind to winter soup season. The chill may have been WTF but the soup was 100% yummy. Chicken bone broth with mushrooms, carrots, mixed veggies, and mushroom tortellini, dressed with a splash of half and half and parmesan cheese and a slice of olive bread with butter for the win.

After work I had an organization board meeting downtown followed by a trip to Family Dollar for toilet paper. At the register, wallet in hand, the debit card used Monday night at the gas station was not in its designated slot in the wallet. Thanks goodness I had $5 to pay for my toilet paper and precious bag of delicious Wiley Wallaby black licorice.

When I entered the house and flipped on the kitchen light, it blew out. One bulb went out a month or two ago and I hadn’t bothered to replace it. Now it was time. The step stool was schlepped to the bathroom closet to get the box of lightbulbs from the closet shelf. Then it was hauled into the kitchen to the table under the light.

Two bulbs were removed from the box and set on the table under the light, ready to install. According to the box, they burn for “13 years*/ *Based on three hours a day.” Cool, cool. Then why have mine burned out after barely five years in a room that definitely does not have that light on for anything close to three hours a day? Talk about false advertising. WTF.

Knobby thing.

Atop the step stool, the knob at the bottom of the ceiling fixture glass shade wouldn’t budge. It’s possible the last time the shade was removed was when Mass Save came for an energy audit and replaced all the bulbs with LED. There was some mumbling about the guy with superhuman finger strength who changed the bulbs and reassembled the fixture back around 2018 which is definitely not 13 years ago.

Down from the stool and in the bathroom closet again, the tool bag was rummaged through in search of pliers but a wrench was the best that could be found. The knob loosened with the leverage from the wrench but at the point where I could finish it by hand, the wrench became stuck on the knob. WTF. It finally came free. The lamp shade was cleaned, bulbs replaced. It is now blinding in its brightness.

With the light squared away, focus could shift to the missing debit card. My bag was emptied and gone through. Same for the wallet, where gas receipts going back to April were found, including the receipt from Monday night, but not the card used. Jacket and pants pockets were checked. The car was searched. No card. WTF.

Thanks to the wonders of technology and mobile banking, the card was turned off. Tapping the option for “Report a Lost or Stolen Card” resulted in a message to “Call to report a lost or stolen card.” It took two tries before the call went through and received a recording that the call center was closed. The robot man on the line then said that many card functions could be handled in the mobile app. Umm, yes, except this one. WTF.

The entire bag of black licorice was stress devoured during the unfruitful debit card effort. Some days have a whole lot of WTF going on, but black licorice is a pretty good salve.

random thoughts – Day 1,175 – (Monday) – Winston

This morning provided a gentle reminder about the reasons for some of the structure built into daily life at The BungaLowell. One habit was to close the bedroom door at night before going to sleep. Some people do it for fire safety, but I did it to keep the dogs contained at night.

The closed door was eventually replaced with a baby gate to improve air flow while containing the dogs, especially when the windows are open in the back bedroom to catch the night breezes. Almost without fail, the gate has been set in the doorway each night for several years. Almost.

Winston loves bed.

Last night, the regular bedtime routine was enacted. Winston gets his cookies, started ages ago when Moose would get an upset stomach and vomit overnight, which was helped by getting something into his stomach before bed. The gate is set up, and we go to bed, where Winston burrows under the top comforter.

Lately, many nights, Winston, like moose before him, wakes up at least once, and usually more times during the night to go out. When he is on the bed, I feel him moving around, which wakes me up and I help him to get down from the bed. The gate is opened, we go downstairs, and he goes out. When he comes back inside, he gets a drink of water and eventually makes his way back upstairs.

Lately, I’ve been too tired to wait for him, and I head upstairs and slide back into bed without him. When I wake up in the morning, Winston is curled up asleep in his upstairs bed. Once in the past week, he was asleep in his downstairs bed when I came down.

This morning, when I got up, Win arose from the upstairs bed and headed down the stairs. The gate wasn’t up from the midnight pee trip because I was too tired to wait for him. When I went downstairs, there were two big wet spots on the rug. That meant a wet clean up in the dining room.

Win ate, and went back to his bed. As I finished coffee and headed to the remote office to begin work, I noticed a yellow fluffy barf spot on the same rug. Poor guy was having a rough morning.

Winston crashed on the couch.

A couple hours later there was a new wet spot in a different place on the same rug, this time in front of the door. I don’t know how I missed Winston’s request to go outside, but clearly, I did. 

He spent the rest of the day sleeping, and the one time he came to see me at my desk, he was trembling. I cuddled him for a minute and then, assuming he was cold, put a sweater on him. He went back to the living room. He must be feeling poorly, because he didn't play any of his favorite games like sitting behind the desk chair, going in and out all day, and begging for cookies. He hung out in the living room.

When I returned from Finnish class, Win was waiting by the back door, like usual. He's still a bit more sedate, but he was ready for a biscuit.

Win has been an amazing navigator since losing his vision, and I have avoided changing the placement of furniture, not that there are many options in small rooms in a small house. Lately, he’s seemed more disoriented, walking head-on into furniture, doorways, and walls. Sometimes he sits still, like he used to do when he could see and would stare at me when he wanted something, but lately he sits facing a wall or a chair and I doubt he knows where he is. My heart cracks a little bit each time. I really wish he could tell me how he is feeling so I could know what to do.

random thoughts – Day 1,174 – (Sunday) – brrrrr

It's back to hot broth.

The gray and chilly weekend weather meant a return to winter cooking and hibernation. Chicken bones were pulled from the freezer and added to the fresher bones from Winston’s weekly chicken for bone broth. Screw fresh crisp salads for warm weather, it's back to hot soup mode. 

The crappy weekend weather brought with it amnesia. Basically, I stayed indoors and forgot about things I had wanted to do beyond The BungaLowell. The open studios at Western Ave Studios was skipped. The Greek Festival was forgotten on Friday and Saturday, and when remembered on Sunday, it was decided to not be awkward, alone, and cold at the event and just stay home wallowing in aloneness. The wallowing was done while attired in a full winter ensemble of flannel shirt, fleece pullover, and the denim jacket I never removed after going to the grocery store.

And just like that, poof! and the weekend is over. They always go by so quickly, and it doesn't matter if they are busy or nothing  is done. The rain and cold meant the suddenly shaggy, scraggly, weedy lawn is going to be in need of mowing for a few days longer. It may require farming equipment by the time I can get to it.

random thoughts – Day 1,173 – (Saturday) – rewind

Winston and a blanket.

The weather roller coaster performed exactly as predicted with chilly temperatures. The Thursday and Friday sweat bath felt more like August and prompted the turning on of the air conditioning. By Saturday it was rewound back to a wintery feel with temps flirting with the 40s, Winston curled up on the summer couch cover under a wintery blanket, and heat turned back on. Ugh. 

If I was smart, there would have been some baking done to take advantage of the chill and use some of the two and a half dozen eggs in the fridge, the result of shopping without a list. Not only did that not happen, the idea didn’t even occur to me at a reasonable hour, defined as early enough to mix, bake, and clean up before bedtime.

The time spent in the kitchen was mostly occupied with staring at the kitchen wall trying to rearrange artwork for about the 87^th time. The goal is to fill some weird gaps with additional pieces while avoiding a total rearrangement and pulling out any existing nails. That means there are some very odd and specific sized pieces needed. It’s not easy inventing rules and then adhering to them. 

Winston played one of his favorite games throughout the day. It was the one where he goes to the front door and scratches it like he wants to go outside. Then, when I’m standing there holding the door open, he strolls away all casual like. According to his script, I am then supposed to follow him to the cookie bin and give him a treat. It didn’t work, but he kept trying, so points to him for persistence. When he finally got a cookie after a dozen attempts, he really deserved it.

random thoughts – Day 1,172 – (Friday) – headache and stuff

The day, like the weather, was a roller coaster. The ride to work was sunny and mildly annoying, with morning traffic that was heavier than the usual Friday. The after work route took me right into the jaws of a traffic jam at the Tsongas Center where the many dark blue graduation gowns provided clues to the reason for the volume.

A room full of bargain books.

Breakfast was Greek yogurt with blueberries and strawberries from the freezer. It was creamy and delicious and soon followed by a headache which stuck around all day and night. My cheekbones ached and eye sockets felt like they were throbbing. It didn't help that I was clenching my jaw while trying to chip away at the long to do list.

In the early afternoon, there was a trek outside to try and shake the headache. A stop at the library book sale, which I had forgotten about until I was outside, was a mild diversion.

Four more books that won’t fit in any bookcases in the house were acquired from the thousands available. Clearly, it's time to get more bookcases. I browsed the perimeter of the room with well marked sections including foreign, travel, hobby, literature, and local, and avoided the sea of fiction in the center which felt overwhelming in its vastness. Of my acquisitions, the most amusing title is Uppity Women of Ancient Times.

It was another morning where I saw a weather report of "hot," stopped reading, and ditched the umbrella. As the afternoon clouds darkened, doubt set in. When the skies opened opened at 4:15, there was regret. It’s amazing how little I learned after the last sunny day that turned into a waterfall.

Chartreuse puddle.

At home, the rosebush has begun blooming with bright red blossoms, but the few annuals bought have died in less than a week. The downpour magically replenished the big puddle at the end of the driveway, which was fascinating with its chartreuse coat. I can only guess what the neighbors were thinking if they saw me squatting near the pollen puddle taking pictures. Twice. It seems I may be on the way to the title of the crazy lady at the end of the street. 

The thunder rumbled during the evening. By the time darkness fell, so had the temperature and the afternoon high around 90 degrees had dropped to a refreshing 65. One forecast has the temperature at a record low for Saturday. Bundle up!

random thoughts – Day 1,171 – (Thursday) – back to normal

It was back to the office today. There was a crunchy start when I accidentally did the morning activities out of order. Somehow, I neglected to make coffee, which is usually the first activity, followed by prepping Winston’s breakfast. Returning to the kitchen after dressing and seeing an empty coffee pot was confusing. Worse, later, I couldn’t remember if I had given Win his insulin.

At the office, 255 emails were lying in wait to greet me at log in. I took a deep breath and dove in. It could have been a lot worse, but the weekend and a holiday being part of the vacation probably helped. And a lot of those were subscriptions and newsletters that could be ignored and deleted.

Unfortunately, I missed a colleague’s going away party on Wednesday, which had pizza and cupcakes. Her last day is Friday and there is the opportunity to say a proper good bye/good luck. There was a piece of leftover veggie pizza and a couple cupcakes and I pounced on them like a hungry jackal. So yummy.

The garden at ALL.

Midday, I managed to extricate myself from the desk chair and get outside the building. There was a walk around the block, past the brick park on Middle Street, then the little gated park on Market Street. There was a quick visit to see the show at the Art League of Lowell (ALL) and then I picked up my photo that was in the recently ended Associate Artists’ show at The Brush Gallery. 

It was nice to get some air and I need to do it more often.  It was hot in the sun, but one side of several streets was shaded, and by not walking like I was in a time trial for the Senior Games race walk competition, it was comfortable.

Overall, it was a pretty good day. It exceeded the recently established acceptable baseline of “tolerable,” chosen for its attainability. Lowering the bar has really improved things.