“Remoted” Day 240 (Wednesday)

 The day started too early when Moose began barking his demands to go outside at 4:00 am. The going out operation involves removing pee bands from both dogs, removing the child gate that prevents them from roaming the house at night, racing downstairs to open the front door and ushering Moose outside before he stops along the journey to pee on a rug. Meanwhile, Winston remains in the bedroom or at the top of the stairs, requiring a trip upstairs to either coax or carry him down. I think he likes the special attention and personalized transportation. Or he's too tired to deal with the stairs.

Back from a morning adventure.

At about three steps from the bottom of the staircase, Winston starts squirming like a fussy toddler to get down, and as soon as his paws hit the dining room rug he races to the door, where he then has to wait a second for me to catch up. Once he is also outside, because I’m already up, it’s a pre-emptive visit to the human potty before letting the dogs back in, telling them to go back to back upstairs to bed and hoping they cooperate. If they do cooperate, they are rediapered and we are all back in our respective beds in six to eight minutes. If they don’t cooperate and start creating delays with drinking water and wandering around the house and jumping on the couch, it can take as long as 15 minutes to get back to bed.

Once the 4:00 am drill is completed, it’s back to sleep for hopefully two more hours on a workday, and ideally more on an off-work day.  This is mostly fantasy. Many days (too many), Moose is barking to get up and go back outside or to eat breakfast as soon as 5:00. Today he was barking almost continuously from 5:30 until 6:30 and I just couldn’t get up. I was really tired and I didn’t want to. So I didn’t. I put the extra pillow over my head to try and muffle the barking.

Once I’m up, the first hour of the day is a bit of a circus-like mad dash and choreographed activities. The dogs go outside while I measure out the food and refresh the water, then they come back inside before Moose’s barking awakens the neighborhood. While they are eating, I start the coffee and remove the night guard that keeps me from destroying my teeth in my sleep and brush it and my teeth. Winston gets his insulin, and the dogs often go back outside after they’ve eaten. Then I can get dressed and pour some coffee. At 7:00 it's "Meatball Time" involving the daily improvised song and the wet food meat balls with Moose's containing his adrenosuppressant capsule. Then I  can finally drink the coffee.

This morning, the two dogs were in the front yard after breakfast and I dashed upstairs to dress. It felt like barely two minutes had passed and Moose was already barking to come in. Unfortunately, I was in a state of partial undress unsuitable for appearing at the front door to let them in. I hurriedly finished dressing and went downstairs to discover only one dog in the front yard. Apparently, Moose had been sounding the alarm about an escape and Winston had slithered under the gate and made a run for freedom. 

Usually I can hear the metal name tag clinking on his collar, but there was no sound to alert me to Winston's location as I walked around the yard, looked to the yards across the street, and looked up and down the street before heading inside. It was 7:15 and it felt like I’d already lived an entire day. I wandered the house with my coffee cup, looking out every window for a sign of him before I sat down, then popped up every few minutes to look and listen outside for a sign of him.

Finally, at 7:45, there was the familiar and polite bark at the back door, which is not nearly as annoying as Moose’s loud, shrill yapping, and there was Winston the Prodigal Dog, with four muddy paws leading up to four wet legs. I’ll never know where he went or how he got all wet, but I was just glad he was home and let me wipe his dirty little feet and legs. If he can gain back some of the weight he lost before the diabetes diagnosis he won’t fit under the gate so easily, but for now, it’s looking like he will be on a backyard restriction where there are no escape options. 

He must have had quite a tiring adventure during his 30 minutes of freedom, because he napped on the couch all day. I was tired enough from the morning hijinks that I joined him around 3:00 and had my own couch nap. That is the luxury of a holiday off with no plans.