random thoughts - Day 2,031 (Wednesday) - fall dance

More of more of the same. I swear, as soon as this shoulder pain thing is sorted out, I'm going to drag myself out of the rut and be a gal gone wild. It's one of my life's typical dumb little stunts that just as the house is sort of organized and after three months I was finally ready to enjoy some of the free time provided by joblessness, my body would rebel. But once this hurdle is over, things are going to happen.

There will be trips to the library. Art galleries. The local park with a pond and trails. Maybe take an art class or a writing workshop. Pack and deliver some unneeded household items to a consignment shop. Join a gym. You know, everything!

Fall's carpet.

For the past few weeks and probably for a few more weeks ahead, it's a super low-key existence. I can dance our performance numbers without issues, but for whatever reason, driving is brutally uncomfortable and even walking to the mailbox (like I did today), causes twinges in my upper back and my arm gets throbby. Today I took the express route to the neighborhood post office, which is straight down my street and back the same way. There were no casual scenic ambles on the longer streets to look at leaves, flowers, siding, carports and whatever else usually catches my eye. 

Many trees on the street are already nude, and the yards they adorn are covered in brown, brittle leaves. No big color this year. Time was taken to notice my back yard is covered in fallen pine needles and leaves. There is one really tall pine tree out back, and you need to look up over the tops of all the other other trees to even know it's there. 

It was my first trip to the mailbox all week and it was loaded with grocery store flyers, mail for me, and very official government mail addressed to a name completely different from that of the previous occupant of 20+ years. 

My two most local dance sisters came over and we ran through the dances for Saturday's Halloween event performance. We talked about costumes. We made carpool plans. We are set. Mostly, I still have to finalize my costume, but not too final-final. Half the time, the day of an event I change it all up because I'm not in the mood for it anymore or something's not working or the weather changed and isn't costume friendly. Dancing outdoors in the evening has a few costume challenges. 

random thoughts - Day 2,030 (Tuesday) - checkup letdown

 After 11 days of constant shoulder and arm pain that ran through the flavors of aching, stabbing, throbbing, spasming, tingling, sharp, dull, and everything in between, it was time for the orthopedic appointment. I had big hopes that a source would be identified and some form of relief prescribed. I was prepared to hurl myself into any potential remedy whether it be pharmaceutical, massage therapy, acupuncture, chiropractic, or even voodoo. 

Boring exam room.

Several x-rays were taken in a room two doorways down the hall and then I was in a nondescript, nearly empty exam room. The most interesting thing was a model of a knee. There were no computer screens with x-rays on display, just a sign about declaring "No use of electronic devices in exam room." 

The exam included tests for mobility and strength. I was told my x-rays were great and so are my mobility and strength. The pain might be currently emanating from my shoulder, but that does not seem to be the source of the problem. 

Based on the tingling, the PA thinks it could be a pinched nerve situation and I have been referred to the spine and neck specialists. There was a cancellation on Monday, and I was given the appointment slot. If things continue as they have been, it's going to be another long and painful week. I can't remember the last time I felt this knotted up and miserable.

In fun news, some top secret Halloween performance costuming parts ordered yesterday arrived today. A potential solution was devised for the recently arrived "one size fits all" top that is comically large on me. The lamp and few other items in my cart that had the price increases late last week have dropped back down to the previous prices that make it look like Prime Days deals, and a couple items seem to be enjoying bona fide discounts and I'm tempted to stock up on Kiki's now deeply discounted cat food and a few cans of instant chai latte for me. My pricing displeasure has been assuaged.

On the Kiki front, she has been spotted several times on the bed that past couple days. Each time, she slithers off it like maybe I won't notice even though I tell her she is the smartest and best and prettiest kitty. Last night, her little head popped up at the side of the bed  and she leapt onto the bed, but when she saw me in it she jumped off. This afternoon, she stretched and lounged on the living room floor in a spot of sunshine and posed in front of me. 

random thoughts - Day 2,029 (Monday) - build and bake

New bedside shelf and lamp.

It was a day of GSD (getting sh*t done). The three-shelf tower with light, drawer, two outlets and two charging ports that arrived in a surprisingly small box on Saturday was finally assembled today. the instructions to this one had challenges. The three-cubby narrow storage chest, the litter cabinet with door, and the six-foot tall book shelf spoiled me with decipherable instructions and illustrations. 

The three-shelf tower was a different story. For one thing, none of the parts or bags of hardware were labeled. Some parts, like the drawer and the lighting fixture were obvious, but the three different screws required scrutiny of the teeny, tiny illustrations. Two types of screws had an extra, noted in the inventory as "(1 for spare)", but one step that required four screws not only didn't have an extra, it only had three in the package. (Cue a round of WTF.) 

The poorly translated text in the instructions was mostly okay until steps 10 and 11 of 13. These steps used undefined terms that resulted in head scratching and WTF-ing. "Fix the bracket with the buckle"? "Lamp cap"? What, what? It took longer than it should have and the lampshade became creased during that step of the installation, but at least it's done now. And when I'm done reading in bed, with cell charging on the little shelf, I no longer have to get out of bed and walk tot he wall switch to turn off the overhead light. I can pull the little chain and my sleek, modern light will be extinguished for the night.

After that, there was the fan searing of vegetables for supper, which were tossed with leftover basmati rice from Sunday's supper. A couple hours later, brownies were made. The former standard of baking only from scratch has relaxed with time, and these were made from a box. As convenient as they might seem, the only time savings was not having to measure dry ingredients. The mix required two eggs, three tablespoons of water, and a half cup of oil, so there was still the dirtying of measuring utensils which are now in the sink. 

Even more edges!

The brownie pan a friend gave me has the channels so every piece gets two edges. Yes, please. Unlike the days of my youth when I would disappear an entire pan of brownies and clean up all evidence, leaving the rest of the family to question whether they really saw a box of brownie mix in the cabinet, self restraint was exercised. Most of the pan is still intact, and, as noted on the box, "loosely wrapped." 

None of the completed tasks were the thing I was supposed to be doing, which is finalizing my costume for a troupe Halloween performance on Saturday. I started altering a key component last night and somehow lost the entire bunch of black (for contrast) small safety pins I was using to mark where I needed to take tucks or remove material. I had then in my hand. In my lap. Then, they were gone. Not under the couch or ottoman. Not in the cushions. Not anywhere. No bueno. Time for a new approach. Tomorrow.

random thoughts - Day 2,028 (Sunday) - coping and shopping

The return to summer weather continued, and according to forecasts, will stick around for Monday and Tuesday. If I had my act together, I could finally get in that daytrip to the beach that was postponed all summer. It's a jolly fantasy, but driving is too uncomfortable with the jacked up shoulder and Tuesday morning is booked with the orthopedics appointment so the speed bumps are in place.

Ice pack comfort for the road.

Dance practice was good this morning, and once again, the shoulder was good during all the movement. Having a Quasimodo ice pack hump perched on the problem shoulder made the drive there and back tolerable. This week I was smarter and I took an insulated lunch bag loaded with two Nordic ice packs to keep the gel packs cold during class. It was a good coping system and allowed for an errand on the way home instead of racing to an ice pack.

There was a stop at Ocean State Job Lot on the way home. The parking lot was busy with the dinosaur and cookie truck event taking place at the Staples end of the parking lot. I was not curious enough about the cookie truck to navigate the many families who seemed to be parking at the furthest point from the event and walking across the expansive parking lot which had plenty of closer spaces available. 

Ocean State wasn't crowded inside, but there was still a notable number of rugrats running around and some laissez-faire parenting in action. At least three times the same small human came sprinting around a corner and nearly went face first into the far end of my cart. He was with the tall human who kept yelling for "Roscoe." The same family unit of the two tall and two small humans (one being Roscoe) appeared around every corner and blocked every aisle, no matter how much I tried to avoid them. I stood there waiting to get down an aisle for a good three minutes while they read every spice jar out loud, and finally retreated back down the aisle I was trying to exit. Somehow, when I reached the end, there they were again, blocking the next egress. It felt like a haunting. I couldn't get out of the store fast enough.

Real life versus product photography.

The point of today's Ocean State grocery adventure was an unsuccessful search for Sophia's Italian boxed butternut squash risotto. To avoid leaving empty-handed it ended with boxed Indian dinners. Even without a microwave, the heating times were just three to five minutes. The serving suggestion of basmati rice was followed, which extended the overall cooking time to a whopping 20 minutes for the rice. 

The plated result of Palak Paneer (Spinach and Paneer Cheese) meal looked nothing like the picture on the box. Not even close. Clearly, a lot of staging went into the photo for the box. It looked gross in real life, but tasted okay, mostly due to the rice. The boxed stuff is adequate in a pinch, but I doubt I'll put much effort into buying it again. There is one more flavor in the pantry and maybe it will look more appetizing.

random thoughts - Day 2,027 (Saturday) - fall festive

It was back to summery weather which made for a lovely day to be out in the country. Two friends and I started with yard sales in the center of Ashburnham at New Dawn Art Center and the Historical Society, part of the town-wide yard sale. Then we visited an art gallery/gift shop where my friends know the owners. We got chocolate bars and learned there was an artist reception there later in the day. 

Mums at Wildwood Farm.

From Ashburnham, we headed to Wildwood Farm in Westminster with sweeping skies and rolling hills. It's an equestrian farm and event venue and they were having a fall festival. I was there once for a beautiful June wedding, and today the vibe was full-on fall festive with live music, pumpkins, mums, a farm stand, pony rides, food trucks, catered barbeque, craft vendors, and fundraiser raffles for the equestrian program. 

I had stupidly dressed for the cooler morning temperatures, and it wasn't long before the thermometer reached a noontime summer level and I was too warm. Rookie move. You'd think I hadn't lived in New England for most of my life.

After the festival, we went back to the center of Ashburnham for lunch and the art reception. We got sandwich wraps from a local market and parked ourselves at an umbrella table in front of Creative Connections Gift Shop and Gallery to enjoy the weather. The first thing we noticed as we settled in and looked around was a car parked blocking a travel lane with an elderly woman slumped in the seat. We thought she was having a medical issue and were ready to help, but then she moved and we saw she was on her phone. Car horns were honking and aggravated drivers risked a head-on collision going around the car. 

She rolled the car window down and started yelling to us. She said she called the nail salon and there was no answer, and asked us how she could get inside. The front door with the neon "Open" sign looked like a good option, but maybe she knew something we didn't.

Luckily, someone came out of the shop, helped her out of the illegally parked car, got her and her cane inside, then came out and moved the car to a proper parking spot. A few minutes later, a police officer arrived, exited the patrol car and looked around. We guessed he was looking for the illegally parked car with elder in trouble. My friend went over and learned the officer was indeed looking for the car with the potentially expired person that someone had called about. The officer was relieved to learn that there was no deceased person in a car on Main Street and left. 

Inside the art gallery, I got to visit with a painter friend who has work for sale in the gallery and was there supporting the main exhibiting artist who is a colleague at Worcester Art Museum. The gallery was lovely, the show of mostly watercolors was beautiful, and the gallery air conditioning was much appreciated. 

It was a lovely day all around. When I got home, with the lidocaine patch on my shoulder no longer helping, I crashed on the couch and napped. I felt a little guilty sleeping on the remainder of a beautiful afternoon, but pain and discomfort are exhausting. 

random thoughts - Day 2,026 (Friday) - prime time

Cheese and cracker  inferior snack.

It was hard getting out of a nice warm bed this morning. The house was at a chilly 56 degrees due to the mysterious furnace failure of Thursday. Thank goodness for base layers, cashmere sweaters, and fashion scarves. Clad in one of my cold season casual Friday outfits, I felt like I should get in the car and drive to the old office. Briefly, there was a temptation to bake, mostly to enjoy the 350 or 400 degree oven, but laziness won out  and no baking was done. 

Hours later, there were pangs of regret that no baking had been done. American cheese and saltines with a glass of wine were the evening snack instead. Not quite the same satisfaction as a brownie or apple crisp. 

Hopefully, the wine will result in some relaxation before my shoulder region completely shatters like brittle ice. The Tuesday appointment feels like forever away. 

The massive shopping monolith that offers everything from A to Z with a smile is gearing up for the celebrated fall season "Prime Days," (October 7-8) and there are already advance "deals" and pricing shenanigans in effect. In the past two days, several items in my "save for later" shopping cart have increased in price, some by as much as $15 and $25. Come Prime Days, they will likely be available "on sale" for the same price they were two days ago. I used to work in retail. I know some of these tricks. I'm willing to play the long game and wait out Prime Days.

It's not the first time I've noticed this. One time I had been loading up items so when Prime Day discounts hit I (and likely everyone else) would be ready to check out at discounted prices. And just like now, shortly before the big "deals," the alerts about price changes in the cart (mostly increases) began rolling in daily. So no, dominant purveyor of stuff, where Prime Days deliveries take twice as long as usual, I'm not falling for it. Probably. Maybe.

Alternate providers for some items have already been located. Wayfair and Overstock carry a lot of the same home furnishings stuff as big A -- and if you are willing to wait a few days longer for delivery, the price is sometimes significantly lower. That discovery was made during my pandemic search for a desk and office chair. The exact same items were less costly at the other websites, and with the way big A extends delivery dates during Prime Days and bumps them out a day or two after the order is placed on regular days, the timeline isn't all that different. 

In other news, the heating problem of Thursday was resolved today. The furnace was diagnosed this morning. It needed a replacement part, which was replaced later today.  Calm was restored, shivering reduced, and the mood is much better. 

Afternoon yard work crew.

Outside, my Fairy GodFarmer arrived on a riding mower and cut my grass. Later, the neighborhood turkey team was busy with the afternoon shift of yard work, quietly pecking away at whatever it is they eat from the lawn. The team of the limping adult female and the five smaller birds was in the yard for a morning feast, went elsewhere, then returned for the afternoon feast. I like the yard crew. 

random thoughts - Day 2,025 (Thursday) - fixin' to snap

Right around the time I was feeling like I might be able to get into a groove and relax and enjoy some of the free time provided by unemployment, forces are activating to make sure that doesn't happen for even a minute. Welcome to my world.

There are several physical factors at play, and they aren't playing nice. First, my right glute hurt. Then, the right side of my neck hurt. The timing of the neck thing is fuzzy because it's a decades-long, recurring condition, often exacerbated by stress. The stress leads to jaw clenching when I drive and when I sleep. Things hadn't been too bad recently and I missed a few nights of using my night guard, which may have been the first misstep, bred of comfort and cockiness. So, yeah. 

The latest version of the neck pain is also the worst and longest lasting. It spread to the upper shoulder area (not unusual) and by last Saturday it was moving into tricep area (never before). By Sunday, it was in my armpit and I considered visiting an urgent care office, but didn't, partly because it hurt too much to drive. Now, everything hurts and I'm ready to snap.

On Monday I reached out to my primary care physician. The office said I could schedule with an orthopedic, and I found an office a couple miles from home. The orthopedic office requires a referral even though my health coverage does not. There was back and forth with the PCP office and on Tuesday, they were provided the fax number and said a referral would be sent that afternoon. I waited a couple hours and called the orthopedic. No referral.  

On Wednesday I was busy with other things like gathering dance costume components, lunching with family, and then discovering my auto insurance has a payment due next week and I didn't receive an invoice. I couldn't access the bill through the company's portal because it said I'm not a named insured on my auto policy for which I am the only owner and the only driver. During a phone call, a rep emailed me the invoice, which I later noticed still has the old address. Super fun time-consuming, soul-sucking stuff. The address is now sorted out and the premium will be lower, which is a bright spot more like a fun sparkler than an explosion.

This morning, I called the orthopedic and there was still no referral, so either something was messed up or the PCP was sending it by pony express instead of fax. I opened the PCP patient portal to send a message and saw that the referral had been sent. To me. On Tuesday. There had been no system notification about a portal message and I wasn't looking for one because it wasn't supposed to come to me. 

There were instructions about printing the referral and taking it to the appointment. Except there was no appointment yet because they need the referral before they will make the appointment. Also, I don't have a printer. I called the orthopedic with the updated status and asked it I could email it. They said I shouldn't have to be involved at this level and they would call the PCP and straighten it out. They called me back later and scheduled an appointment. It's next Tuesday. There is little confidence I will last that long without totally blowing a gasket.  

In addition to the shoulder pain, today, while wearing a wool sweater over a base layer, I was freezing. Around suppertime, I decided to abandon the self-imposed challenge and turn on the furnace, which worked when the building inspector checked it in July. When Mass Save came in August to do an anergy audit the tech put on a new thermostat face and said I just needed to slide the lever over to "heat" to turn it on. Sounds simple. Tonight, I slid it to heat. Nothing happened. The manual was consulted. Buttons were pushed. The oil tank is 3/8 full, the thermostat is new and there is no heat. Now in addition to closing out the sixth consecutive day of big pain, I'm also cold and pi**ed off on several different levels. Yay. If only rage would make me warm instead of more tense.

And tomorrow, instead of dealing with my 401k plan transfer, I can chase down the Mass Save technician or customer service or whoever and find out what is wrong with the stupid thermostat. Sounds like another fun day on the phone. Can't wait.