random thoughts – Day 1,843 – (Thursday) –feelings and groceries

The latest x-rays and previous ones.

The follow-up with the surgeon was today and it was more of the usual with another x-ray and quick visit with the surgeon. He had me make a fist and extend my fingers. Make prayer hands. Invert the prayer hands with the backs of the hands touching. The official medical declaration was that the bone is about 90% healed, there are no restrictions, I don’t need any more appointments with the surgeon unless something happens, and the best news of all – I don’t need physical therapy. 

I’m convinced the PT bullet was dodged thanks to two friends who told me exercises to do to work on mobility and flexibility. So thanks K and K!

The appointment took about 10 minutes and I had the afternoon off. Instead of taking the left towards home, I took the right towards the shopping plaza and Hannaford. I had a coupon for $12 off a $60 order and $6 in rewards I could redeem.

The Hannaford discount coupons are when I splurge if the usual pantry staples haven’t hit the total to trigger the coupon. I was keeping a running total in my head, but kept forgetting the total, and unlike the old-timey days before bar codes there are no price tags on items to start over.

Produce, granola bars, coffee, spaghetti sauce, salsa, cheese, English muffins, rice, and more were loaded into the cart to bolster the pantry reserves. Splurge items included ice cream and cookies. At the register, as the number of items left to be rung up dwindled, I mentioned to the cashier the need to hit $60. That’s when I learned that the $6 rewards came off first, which put me $6 shy of hitting the qualifying amount for the other coupon. My math was on the mark, but the rewards deduction knocked me back.

Splurge that led to savings.

The cashier offered to pause my transaction and take the next customer while I got something else to hit the target amount. My mind went blank and under pressure I couldn’t think of anything else I needed. I was darting around the aisles like the ball in a pinball game until jugs of trail mix were spotted on a bottom shelf. 

Usually, I mix my own using whatever is in the baking cabinet, but the reserves are low-ish. The Hannaford mixes have dried fruits and nuts I would never have on hand at the same time. And it let me hit $60 to get $12 off. Getting $68 worth of groceries for $50 felt like a financial and psychological victory. Sure, I had to spend more to save more, but I would have buying the pantry stuff eventually.

The rest of the afternoon involved putting away groceries and watching movies on Max. There was a chunk of Steel Magnolias, of which I remembered only that I didn’t really like it when it first came out, and also someone dies. I liked it a lot more this go-round and bawled my eyes out. It was followed by Sixteen Candles, which I’ve seen several times, and also made me cry. I have no idea what is with the waterworks today. It’s nice to live alone and be able to cry freely, even when it’s a rare occurrence. During my tween and teen years, Mom and I would cry while watching movies and my brother and Dad would make fun of us. My response was to master stuffing down the feelings and choking back the tears, which was preferable to being mocked for having feelings.

There were other feelings today besides the mushy movie ones when I read the follow up notes sent by the doctor’s office. The notes claim that “The patient was informed a slight chance of reinjury/refracture, need for future surgery and a slight chance of arthritis in the future. If appropriate, a permanent growth plate deformity may develop. A home exercise program was given to the patient.” My accompanying reaction was straight up, full blown, out loud exclamation of “what in the actual f*ck?!?” NONE of that was discussed. Not a single word of it. A chance of refracture? A potential growth plate deformity?!? Trust me, had this been told to me, we’d still be in the office discussing probabilities, ways to avoid such things, and options if they developed. And where is the “home exercise program?”

I was all set to enjoy some tropical trail mix that I would probably get all over the couch, but I couldn’t get the lid off, which was disappointing. The lid and the container are each a smidge too large for me to grasp. Maybe I’ll bring my 30-ounce jug of trail mix to the office tomorrow and see if someone with large, strong hands can loosen the lid for me. And who are the sadistic product packaging design engineers who come up with so many cruel ways to frustrate the shopper? I would like to slap a couple of them.