Salesmanship 101

This course teaches activities that will motivate another person or organization to utilize the services promoted (i.e., sales). This module illustrates concepts from the consumer’s (potentially harsh) point of view. It's for your own good. No, not you, her.

Question: What do consumers care about? Answer: What’s in it for them.

That about sums it up. The consumer cares about the payoff at the end of the transactional investment. The salesperson would be wise to remember this. And please be truthful in your product claims. Customers will figure it out pretty fast when you’ve exaggerated and then they will be mad. And they will tell other people.

Don’t tell me you need my sale so you can hit a sales quota. I don’t need that kind of truth. Unless I am your mother, I don’t care (and depending upon the woman, she may not, either). My wallet doesn’t exist to fulfill your objectives, your performance objectives are not my problem, and they have nothing to do with the product.

Exhibit the benefits to be received through the use of whatever you are selling. Will pain be avoided or pleasure attained? Will time and/or money be saved? Will I look and/or feel hot enough to attract a mate? There may be others, but these are some of the basic concerns. These apply to pretty much everything – appliances, cars, clothing, chocolate, pharmaceuticals, banking, services, auto repair.

People don’t generally spend their money unless the product or service will provide physical comfort (food, shelter, chocolate, entertainment, alterations to a mental state); time-savings and convenience (appliances, transportation, babysitter); increased self-esteem (cosmetics, luxury goods and motor vehicles, high-end food/alcohol); etc. Are you getting the picture?

The sales presentation also applies to you. Please recognize that you are a product. Yes, it sounds cold, but it’s true. Every encounter, every transaction, reflects on you, as a product. If you want to sell yourself as a douchbag, feel free. But don’t be surprised when people call you one.

Remember, Mr./Ms. Job Applicant: Hiring managers generally want more than a body with a pulse. I would bet that most (there are probably some exceptions, so I am cutting myself some slack) want employees who will make their work days easier and/or make them look good to their own boss. So, demonstrate what you’ve got. Tell how my job will be easier if I hire you. Don’t waste both of our time babbling about how the company can fulfill your need for esteem and a paycheck, tell how the company (and my department) will benefit by hiring you.

As for you, Mr. Online Dating Site potential-significant-other: Don’t waste your words on me if all you have to say is that I am [choose any one or combination] pretty, interesting, hot, cool, intelligent, funny. You are not the first one to tell me this. Trust me. It’s been said dozens of times by my awesome and supportive gal pals who will lie (convincingly) to my face (if needed) to make me feel better.

You need a much better spiel. Don’t tell me how I will improve your life. If I wanted to work in charitable service I would join the Red Cross or a convent or something.

You may not know me, but I hope you know yourself (i.e., your product). What do you offer to the females of the planet? Don’t kiss my butt (at least until we have met). Don’t tell me you’re going to make me laugh, just make me laugh. Don’t ramble on about long walks if you know darned well the only walking you do is from the couch to the refrigerator. Be truthful in your advertising. I will find out soon enough if you are blowing smoke. So will all the other ladies (and we talk).

And please don’t put your sales presentation on me. Don’t write if all you have to say is, “Hey you’re cute. If you’re interested, write me.” Ummm…. Interested in what exactly? The fact that you think I am cute? Welcome to the club. So do my mom, dad, nieces and my dog. How am I supposed to respond to that, exactly?

In summary, know your product, sell the benefits to the buyer, and don’t lie.

This concludes today’s lecture. Please join me at a future date for additional lectures.