random thoughts – Day 1,879 – (Friday) – tasks and cats

Fresh porch paint.

Project paint the porch is now complete. The walls painted under tough lighting conditions Thursday evening were touched up this morning. The alarm went off, I tossed a sweatshirt over my pajamas, and by 6:45 I was busy touching up the flaws by daylight. For a couple days, there has been a sleek black cat wandering the neighborhood meowing its heart out. This morning, the meowing was the musical soundtrack to the painting activity. Like yesterday, a girl from across the street was trying to get the cat to come to her, but it didn't work. 

By 8:30, I was in jeans and a shirt and at my desk kicking off my paid workday. The professional handyman was on site, unloading tools and materials from his truck. The warped and peeling wooden kickplates below the front and back doors and the deck sliders are now replaced with fresh PVC plates.  The house, decks, and backyard vinyl fence got a power wash. This was followed by painting the porch floor. 

I meant to lock the front storm door to prevent the latest crop of solar sales people from walking in and ruining the porch paint, but I forgot. There were a couple the other day, and the process is usually to knock on the outer storm door, then enter the porch and do a shave and a haircut knock or some other patterned rap on the front door. It aggravates me to no end. 

If I know you and/or I'm expecting you, or you are delivering something to my address, by all means, enter the dwelling space which begins with the enclosed porch. If you are some door-to-door annoyance trying to woo me to your cause and/or separate me from my hard-earned money, stay on the step outside. Do not pass go. Do not open the door and enter the semi-privacy of my enclosed porch. And definitely, do not knock on my door with some stupid fancy knock. If not for deliveries, which are always welcome to be left in the porch, the doors would remain locked. 

Anyway. The threat of solar panel people led to setting a plant stand and a flower pot blocking the stairs and a paper note on the front door. The side door to the deck is barricaded by the glider. 

The day's casualties were few. A terra cotta pot on the deck shattered under the water force of the power washer. Because the porch floor was wet, the slider was needed for active entry/egress, and a white sheer curtain somehow received a schmear of the blue porch paint. When I tried to scrub it off, I wore a hole in the curtain. Luckily, I have another pair of sheers.

Beans, rice and more.

Tomorrow I can return the glider, the bistro table that receives the food delivery orders, and the shelf of potting materials to the porch. For now, porch furniture, rugs, pillows, and gardening tools are all jammed in the living room and dining room. It’s chaos. Tomorrow, the comedy portion of the project will resume when I try to wrangle the glider back into the porch without destroying the newly painted floor. Then I need to gather up clothes and housewares for a donation pickup on Tuesday, which helps with the declutter/downsize pre-move effort.

Tonight, it was nice to sit quietly after work and relax a bit. There was no task list or pressing timeline. My legs are feeling smoked from climbing up and down the step stool 10,000 times over the past couple days. 

There was a bowl of black beans, meat substitute crumbles, rice, salsa, queso, and corn chips, and Netflix (The Four Seasons then Tuiskoms). Before long and like last night, the evening quiet was interrupted by the black kitty outside meowing again. Kiki cocked her head for a second, but then resumed her usual nonchalant amble around the house before perching on the arm of the chair.

random thoughts – Day 1,878 – (Thursday) – paint math

There have been two purchases of paint for the porch. The first was for the upper half of the walls that are all windows. Ten windows, surrounded by various widths of framing and a wonderfully wide sill below. One quart took care of that, plus some door frames and other random bits.

The second purchase, paint for the bead board on the half walls under the windows, the one tall wall, plus the floor got confusing. I asked for a quart of wall paint and a quart of floor paint, having read that floor paints are more durable to handle the wear and tear. The clerk confessed they only knew how to push the buttons to mix the colors, then had to leave the counter and try to reach the boss to relay my question. Upon returning, they said that the boss said that floor and wall paint are the same. Which was then amended to a confession they don’t have floor paint and maybe I could check Sherwin Williams. And then in a conspiratorial whisper, “or maybe our competitor has it.” I didn’t have time to be checking other retailers. 

I really miss the Ace Hardware that used to be around the corner. You could enter with a question or a situation and get actual answers and solutions. It's now a barber shop and an appliance store, just a block from another barber shop and appliance store. The upstairs kitchen showroom is now apartments.

After an hour's work in the morning.

I rolled the dice and asked for whatever they have. It seemed two quarts would handle the job based on measurements, and that’s where the paint math got weird. A gallon cost $44, but two quarts would be $42 ($21 each). So, yeah, I bought the gallon. I will be a painting fiend, covering everything in sight in “Time’s Current” blue. Foundation? Bulkhead? Sure, why not? Will it be the right formula paint for the job? Probably not. Might it happen anyway? Probably. Maybe.

An hour before work today was spent painting the short walls and a lot was accomplished. It was with this confidence that I boldly stepped into the after-work paint session. There was some initial debate over mowing the suddenly shaggy lawn while it wasn’t raining or getting straight to the painting, but bouyed by the morning paint success, it was straight to painting.  

Dark evening sky and gloom
meant twice as long to paint.

It was cloudy and dark, and by 6:30, I had to put the light on. Located approximately in the center of the ceiling, it increased the level of difficulty due to shadows. It was hard to see how the coverage was and I felt like I needed a miner’s hat. Things really slowed down. It took two hours to accomplish what took one hour in the morning when there was decent light. Work will be required in the light of day to touch up tonight’s efforts. The floor will be done tomorrow by an actual professional with a clue, which was key to tonight's timing.  

I’m already deep in the “I should have done this ages ago” arena of thinking. And also thinking how nice the ceiling would look in the Southern haint blue I've imagined for eight years.

random thoughts – Day 1,877 – (Wednesday) –cloudy and fair

Pollen painted view.

The rain fell and blew overnight and the storm door and windows on the front of the house were plastered with a coating of splattered pollen. As a look for the house, not great, but moderately interesting as a filter for the view outside, adding a painterly effect and also a clear depiction of why everyone is sneezing lately.

There was a job fair at work today for those of us who will be released on the merger date. The morning was spent racing around the house gathering things that would have been collected days ago had I not been flattened with the stomach crud. I needed to find the padfolio I haven’t used for nine years and the business cards done years ago to use for writing applications and freelance work.

As I put on my favorite Calvin Klein suit jacket with my favorite Banana Republic black trousers and a black, green, and yellow silk blouse, I noticed the fabric on the elbows of the jacket was shiny with wear. Ugh. Hopefully nobody would be looking at my elbows.

The job fair was pretty good. Twenty-five companies were on the list including some staffing agencies. Tables were arranged all over the Community Room and a training room, each one bearing a logo tablecloth, jars filled with candy, and lots of branded giveaway items like pens, notepads, and what seemed to be popular, the lip balm that comes in a ball that unscrews. I took one chocolate square in a logo-bearing gold foil wrapper. The last thing I need is more stuff. I already have approximately 5,000 pens of various pedigree and branding.

My plan was to talk with the staffing agencies and then get back to my department, but I ended up also talking with several banks. It was the same conversation at every bank table and it went like this: Them: “What department are you with?” Me: “I with marketing.” Them: “yeah, we don’t have anything available in marketing.” This wasn’t a surprise, I had already visited the careers website section of every bank on the list. But things change and just because there’s nothing today, doesn’t mean that is a permanent situation, although many reps said their people tend to stay a long time. I get it, there has been no turnover with my current team for years.

Wearing a suit jacket in a mildly stressful situation in a room full of people was a bit warm. I was sweating, and when I’m warm, it usually means everyone else is close to heatstroke. One of the HR officers was trying to get the A/C to catch up with the crowd. All the talking was tiring, and when I thought I had run out of resumes, I cut out of there quick.

Back at the office, I discovered there were more resumes in my padfolio, they were just buried under the handouts the MassHire office had provided. Oops. Part of the afternoon was spent cleaning out desk drawers in between setting up ad reviews and checking emails and all the regular work. This winding down process is a lot of work.

Afternoon cover.

By 3:30, the clouds were heavy and low, and it seemed like it might rain again like Tuesday night. It seems that there has been more than enough rain already, and I wouldn’t be at all sad if it stopped. Thanks to all the rain, the back yard has turned into a lush jungle over the past few days, and now I need to figure out how to squeeze a mow in with all the painting and decluttering and other labor that needs to be done. 

Where is my clone? It's 2025, and I still have not been issued my clone, Rosie the Robot maid, personal jet pack, I Dream of Jeannie or Bewitched magic pack or any other technology we were promised was possible back in the 60s and 70s. Reality can be so disappointing. 

random thoughts – Day 1,876 – (Tuesday) – improved

There has been improvement. And moderate rejoicing was heard throughout The BungaLowell.

Guidance from the doctor’s office, which I should have requested sooner, was received. The responding LPN suggested Imodium, high-fiber foods including sweet potato and beans, and the BRAT diet (banana, rice, applesauce, toast).

Toast, my recent best friend.

I had forgotten I bought Imodium before traveling to Mexico, then didn’t need it and stuffed it in the medicine cabinet. There were a couple sweet potatoes from the last time I grocery shopped. I almost always have rice on hand. Toast is easy. There were no bananas or applesauce, but at least I had some of the crucial items.

Imodium was taken. After the appropriate interval noted in the instructions, my new best food friend toast (with butter) was consumed. Later, there was date with a baked sweet potato. After work, there was some rice.

 It’s hard to say if one of these things was responsible, a combination, or the cumulative effects of all three, but things definitely improved. This was the most food eaten in a single day since Friday, and it wasn't trying to forcefully escape. Maybe tonight will have a full night's sleep and by tomorrow my gastrointestinal system will be operating normally again, or close to it.

Unfortunately, the improvement wasn't fast enough for me to make it to tonight’s dance class. Intestinal distress might be partially replaced by general stress, because things are coming quickly and all at once. House prep, house listing, job ending, job searching, house searching, shows. It’s a lot. But doable. At least as long as I don’t break any more body parts or pick up another weird ailment. Easy. 

random thoughts – Day 1,875 – (Monday) – still delicate

For several years, I have had a steady supply of homemade broth and soup in the freezer. Today, feeling moderately less horrid than over the weekend, but still not fully back to health, I finally felt ready to attempt eating. There hadn’t been a full meal eaten since Friday night, and the comfort of soup was the first choice, just like when I was a kid and Mom would heat up a can of chicken noodle. Of course, once I started making homemade soups, I stopped buying canned soup, so there was an immediate hiccup to the food plan.

It turned out, soup is the one thing currently missing from the freezer. I don’t know how this happened, and while I was a bit better, I was still in no shape to start making a vegetable stock. That is for a day of more robust health and vitality. I was still largely couchbound with lightheadedness and weakness.

Plain ramen.

During the freezer search, I found some freeze pops of mysterious vintage, and the blue one was delicious. I considered having Greek lemon chicken soup delivered, but that felt expensive. I finally settled on ramen, as it was the only quick soup option in the house. 

It’s the first time in years I’ve had ramen prepared as instructed with just water, the ramen brick, and the seasoning packet. Long, unbroken noodles with no mixed frozen vegetables, and definitely no Korean hot pepper paste and cheese.

It seemed okay, and the hot broth was calming, but several hours later, any time I change position or stand up, the gut gets delicate. Things seem precarious. It feels like the 3:00 meal is suddenly trying to make an escape. It’s feeling a lot like the way things began Friday night. Fingers are crossed it is an overactive imagination and false alarm. And this whole stomach thing has gotten really old. It can stop any time now. I hate feeling so fragile.

random thoughts – Day 1,874 – (Sunday) – bare minimum

The weekend was shot. Destroyed, due to an illness that had the same effect on plans as a firing squad.

This was supposed to be the weekend where I bought the paint for the porch walls and floor, and painted the walls. The handyman coming at the end of the week is handling the floor. Friday night, before I was suddenly and fully overcome with illness, I decided to wait until Saturday morning to get the paint.

The view from the couch.

Instead, I have been incapacitated since Friday night at 10:00. The overnight was spent being ill from all directions. Most of Saturday day was spent sleeping. Saturday night was spent sleeping. Sunday was spent laid out on the couch watching most of an entire season of Wear Whatever the F You Want with Clinton Kelly and Stacy London. Prime cut out three times during the marathon, which was annoying. 

Though I hadn’t eaten anything since supper at around 6:00 on Friday, I wasn’t hungry. The thirst was strong and I was finally able to keep down water, so that was an improvement. My stomach was making lots of noises and I finally mustered the strength to make and eat a piece of challah toast. It was exhausting.

Later in the day, I still wasn’t hungry, but eating seemed important. I dragged myself to the kitchen to make scrambled eggs, the comfort food Mom always made for me when I was sick as a kid. Unfortunately, mine never come out as good as hers. Barely one-third of the two eggs was eaten. Somehow, the trash was gathered and the litter box cleaned.

It’s been a day of dragging myself through the bare minimum level of activity. Let’s hope tomorrow is better.

random thoughts – Day 1,873 – (Saturday) – under attack

Mysteries abound. In addition to the missing sunglass clip, suddenly draining cell battery, and misplaced dance belt, Friday night delivered a mysterious health situation.

While sitting in the living room half-watching TV, messing around on my cell, and drinking ice water my stomach started feeling “wrong.” I wasn’t a stomach ache, it just felt like the ice water, which I drink nightly, was causing a weird reaction and things were churning. At 10:00, there began a full-on assault of vomiting every 20 to 40 minutes.

I remembered Mom giving me ginger ale when I was kid with a messy stomach, but I don't have any. There is ginger root in the freezer, but I wasn't in any shape to be trying to cut some of that.

Eventually, it felt safe to go upstairs to bed, plastic trash can with a liner bag at the ready. Kiki laid on the floor near the door, her new nighttime spot. Things were calmer with my stomach and then suddenly they weren’t when the mystery ailment took a turn and the expulsion from the other end of the digestive tract kicked in. I was also sweating, then freezing. My body was angry and I don't know why. 

This went on all night. It was brutal. I returned to the couch because it’s significantly closer to the bathroom than the bedroom is. Then it felt safe to return to the bedroom. Things finally eased up around 6:00 am. Not gone, just less frequent, and I was able to sleep for longer increments in bed. At 2:00 pm, I left the bed and went back downstairs to the couch. 

I was thirsty and feeling parched, but the first sip of water kicked the cycle off again. Eventually, I was able to keep water down. I have a headache and feel very weak, but I’m afraid to take anything on what I’m certain is a completely empty stomach and I don't feel like eating.

The expressions “sick as a dog” and “weak as a kitten” kept running through my head, along with lots of exclamations of whiskey-tango-foxtrot.  And why are the dogs sick and the kittens weak? Aren’t cats the ones known for yakking on the rug? I actually feel more like another expression I used to hear – “death on toast.” No, I don’t know where that one originates from either. Maybe when I’m not dealing with a headache and feeling as weak as a kitten I’ll have the energy to look into it.

random thoughts – Day 1,872 – (Friday) – energy drain and missing stuff

Yesterday, despite my not using it all day except for stupid work-related multi-factor authentications, my cell phone drained itself empty. Not long after work ended, it was suddenly at 1% and then dead. It charged quickly once I was home at the charger. I decided it needed to be monitored.

This morning, it drained quickly again. And recharged quickly. And was dead again in the afternoon. And recharged. Now, a few hours later, it’s back down to 26% without even being used for games or watching videos or anything. It’s shockingly similar to my own energy level lately.

This can mean only one thing. The phone must be about five seconds away from being fully paid off, it’s time for it to blow up, and by next weekend, I’ll be forced to shop for a new phone. This was how it went down with my previous phone, and maybe the one before that. Hooray.

The day was shrouded in the mystery of the phone as well as the earlier mystery of “where the h*ll is the sunglass clip to my brown tortoise browline glasses? I had it on Tuesday. The car, work bag, dance bag, pockets of the fleece jacket I wore and the denim jacket I didn’t wear, and two purses I didn’t use this week. Multiple times. No sunglass clip. First the dance belt, now the sunglass clip. Mysteries sure do make things interesting.

random thoughts – Day 1,871 – (Thursday) –kitties and tassels

Kitties in the window
with reflections 5-1-25.

We had a guest scheduled to be in the office today, so it became an onsite day for me. On the way into the office, I got to check out the Lazy Cat Lounge windows and saw the white kitty and the black and white kitty together in one window. So cute. Still so hard to photograph the black kitty with all the window glare and reflections.

We were hosting a high school student who is a co-op in another department and who wanted to learn about marketing. Four of us were onsite for the occasion, each with scheduled time with the student.

In preparation, I spent time gathering samples of types of projects I work on because I find it easier to show the finished product and talk about the strategy and work behind it. I had a gajillion PDF tabs on the screen with sponsorship ads, business banking ads, bi-lingual ads, billboards, and other stuff. Then I accidentally hit the X in the corner instead of the minimize screen button and blew it all away. Then I got to reconstruct it all. After 45 minutes at my desk, he met with the others, and then after that it was just a mostly regular day.

At lunchtime, there was a walk to the Dollar Central store where I browsed the aisles and chuckled. There is an entire wall of products that includes sewing scissors, elastic, needles, pins, and other various tools and notions for sewing recognizable and not, and every single package bore the same product name of “Sewing Kit.” And none of them was actually a sewing kit, which is usually a set of thread, needles, a needle threader, and maybe a couple buttons. I wanted to take a picture of the wall of not sewing kits, but the guy working there was following me around like he thought I was going to rob the place. 

Curtain ties now,
belt tassels later?

My mission was tassels and trim for a tribal style dance belt, and as hoped, they had some curtain tie backs with tassels and corded balls which I bought instead of playing the ridiculous game of “I’ll come back” and then not and getting all stressed out because I forget. Theoretically, the curtain tie backs will magically be transformed into a dance accessory. Or not. We’ll see. 

I still have hope I'll find the tassel belt I already own, in which case, the new tassels and parts will become another layer for it. This stuff was all so much easier when there were fabric stores, and I totally missed the boat with the JoAnn fabric store closing sale. Timing is not always my strong suit. 

random thoughts – Day 1,870 – (Wednesday) –pretty and fluffy

Backyard lilacs.

Spring is popping everywhere. The sun was out today, and the temperature was in the 60s (give or take, I didn’t go outside to verify). 

The lilac in the back yard has some flowers, but not very many, which may or may not be due to the big trim I gave it last year. Last year I cut big bunches of lilac to put in vases, but this year may not be as plentiful. Time will tell in a few weeks.  

The bleeding hearts that were transplanted last year are loaded with little heart flowers. Daffodils waved in the breeze Tuesday outside dance class.

The lily of the valley has spread and sent up an abundance of green shoots. They will eventually take over the back yard, which is okay with me and was an unofficial plan. For the past few years, I “expanded” the flower bed by moving the edging out further.

This morning, while parking downtown, I took a moment to look beyond the concrete wall at the world outside. I noticed that solar panels have sprung up on the roof of one of the converted mill buildings across the street, which isn’t exactly a sign of spring, just something I noticed this morning and didn’t remember seeing before.

Fluffy kitty in a window.

Over on Merrimack Street, I saw kitties lounging in the windows of Lazy Cat Lounge. Finally! A fluffy white beauty posed for me, then a couple windows away, a black one was curled up napping. 

The Lazy Cat Lounge opened months ago and I still haven’t been inside. It’s not open when I pass in the morning, I’m failing miserably at the afternoon take a walk thing, and at 5:00 it’s the last thing on my mind.

At home, my own kitty was seeking face rubs and pats. Her coat is smooth and silky and she let me touch it. Today had a pleasing amount of soft, pretty, fluffy things. Five stars. Highly recommend.

random thoughts – Day 1,869 – (Tuesday) – surprises

It’s another week where the workday routine is out the window. Monday had the visit to the surgeon’s office to shake things up. Today, there was a resume review session with MassHire in the HR suite, which led me to be downtown for the morning. The first challenge was getting out of the neighborhood after I discovered that the short street that lets me leave my neighborhood in an efficient route to work, was closed. A large, orange “Road Closed” sign informed me as I prepared to turn onto the street.

Instead, it was the longer route to work, which planted me in a lengthy line of traffic. There was another surprise at the parking garage, where only one entrance was open, with an orange traffic cone blocking access to the other one. Traffic was blocked up with people from two directions waiting to enter the garage through the one entrance lane blocking the two lanes of people trying to exit the garage.

The Idea Lounge.

The resume review that brought me downtown was in the HR suite. The schedule was running a few minutes late, and I had arrived a few minutes early, so I had a chance to sit quietly in the Idea Lounge in the HR suite overlooking Palmer Street. It’s decorated with 26 square paintings depicting the letters of the alphabet. 

The lounge is the same space where, nine years and a few weeks ago, I had my interview for my current job. This morning, I was receiving help with merger-induced outplacement. It’s funny how things work. As Mummu used to say, “not funny ha ha, funny peculiar.”

The result of the resume review was another surprise. The recommendation is that I should completely revise mine from a chronological format to skills based (aka “functional”). Like, right away, because the onsite job fair with reps from 25 companies in attendance is next week. Oy.

Wednesday will be a regular state of things with being downtown, but Thursday will be topsy turvy all over again with another day in office for a visit from a co-op student from another department. The co-op is studying marketing and will be shadowing our team for part of the day. These visits are better on person.

It’s only Tuesday, I’m already tired, and I’m looking forward to sleeping late on Saturday. It’s nice to have something to look forward to.

random thoughts – Day 1,868 – (Monday) – plate and bump and x-ray vision

There was a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, scheduled last Friday after I finally remembered to call. For a couple weeks, the surgery scar had been doing crazy stuff. It looks like it's glowing red and weird, and sometimes is sensitive and needs to be covered with a bandaid when wearing long sleeves to keep the fabric from rubbing on it. The real kick was when there was pain in three fingers and down the top of my hand and forearm when grasping and pulling leaves from the flower beds. Every time. While leaves won’t need to be pulled forever, the action of grasping and pulling may be required on an ongoing basis.

X-ray visions.

There were more x-rays, which seem to be the warm up act at every appointment. The assistant, followed by the doctor, were not especially concerned about the scar and the pain, but I did learn new nuggets of info concerning my wrist. The first was that the plate may need to be removed eventually because my wrists are all small-boned and dainty and the plate “sits proud” as the assistant said. Basically, it’s not flush with the bone and makes a bump in my wrist, and a tendon rubs and clicks over it, but only when I move my hand, so no real worries, right? 

I figured the plate is what caused the bump, but this was the first mention of removing said plate after the bone is fully healed, and if my scar hadn’t started randomly glowing and feeling all Harry Potter weird and my fingers hadn't screamed at me when I pulled some dead leaves, I might not have known this any time soon.

The second nugget was that there is a small bone chip near my outer wrist bone. What, what? The assistant pointed it out on the x-ray, then said it’s too small to be dealt with, but it can rub on the soft bits in the wrist, which explains the ongoing tenderness and swelling in that area.

The instructions before I left the doctor’s office were “take Motrin” and “come back in three weeks.” Um, okay. See you then, I guess. And until then, I’ll be hyper-fixated on the wrist, the plate that sits proud, the bump, the bone chip, and the tendon. Things I was blissfully unaware of until this afternoon.

random thoughts – Day 1,867 – (Sunday) – show day

Moody clouds, 4-27-25.

Whatever bodily system provokes sleep seemed to be on strike on the Saturday overnight shift. I went upstairs around 10:30, hoping for a good night’s sleep in preparation for performance day. At midnight, still awake, I mentally ran through our dances for the show but it stressed me out. There was tossing and turning and a whole lot of “what the effity-eff?”

At 1:30, there was still no sleep. Same for 2:30, then 3:00, before I finally fell asleep until 6:45. The alarm would be going off at 7:00, so I dragged myself out of bed to a cloudy sky morning.

Show day preparations began while the coffee brewed. The forecast was for breezy, chilly weather which meant dressing in layers, starting with black capri-length leggings and a nude mesh long sleeve shirt. A black version of the mesh top went over the nude, then an elbow length cotton and spandex dance top. These were topped with a black, long-sleeve wraparound dance top. The fifth layer, the chiffon and paillette costume top would be added at the festival venue. Sweat pants went atop the leggings for the drive and would be replaced with the purple and black 25-yard costume skirt.

Bundled up before show time.

Hair was put in a half-updo messy bun to minimize the amount of hair available to blow in my face. Fabric flower hair clips were added. Makeup was applied. 

At departure time, large rain drops splatted onto the windshield. It rained during the entire ride from Lowell to Townsend. It wasn’t heavy, just annoying, and slightly depressing. The sky was brighter closer to Townsend.

Hamming it up after the show.
Photo by Kevin Harkins.

We gathered and did final primping in the parking lot before crossing the street to the festival, bundled in capes, shawls, puffy jackets, and winter coats. Shortly before our scheduled time, the sun came out. We danced, and it was good, even the part where the music for the first song began several seconds into the song and we were a few beats behind for the entire dance. After that, the rest of the songs played correctly. 

A photographer friend attended the event and took photos of us while we were dancing and posed photos afterward. 

During a brief walk through the vendor area, the wind got blustery. Tents were taking flight and displays were blown to the ground. Mother Nature was running through the repertoire today with rain, sun, chilly air, and wind.

The drive home was accompanied by the seat warmer and heater on high. At home, the stage makeup came off, the hair came down, and things were put away in their designated storage bins and hung on the recently organized costume rack.

The rest of the day is a blurry mystery. I was tired, chilled, and the random and always inconvenient sciatic issue had decided to pop in for a visit. At 4:00, the power went out on my side of the river, likely wind related. The power returned at 6:00, beating both the initial estimate and the update. Thank you for your speedy repair work, utility folks. Much appreciated. Now I’m going to bed.

random thoughts – Day 1,866 – (Saturday) – treasure hunting

The rain came as forecast, but the Earth Day event scheduled for today had already been moved to the Sunday rain date, so there was no need to awaken early and check for a text update. With the schedule cleared, there was the chance to visit another thrift store to search for an Indian top for a costume for a dance in a June show, and materials to make a tasseled belt for another dance in the same show. There was better luck with the top at Savers in Nashua today. Yesterday, my beloved St. Vincent de Paul, which had lots of Indian tops when I didn’t need any, had none. It seems to be a shopping rule.

Top for a dance and shawl for whatever.

Today, there were seven or eight potential tops in my cart at Savers. They were ranked in order of prettiness and cost, and in some sort of shopping miracle, the one I liked best was also the lowest cost of the bunch. And the icing on the cake was that it fit when I tried it on over my shirt and jeans in the aisle, the only way to do it since the pandemic removal of fitting rooms. Now, it’s like a smaller, more civilized version of the days of the old Filene’s Basement in Boston with people trying things on in the aisles whatever way they can.

A piece of fabric that seems like a rectangular shawl but was labeled as “seasonal bedding” was bought because I couldn’t resist it. A brown curtain valance was bought because the fabric seems suitable for the dance belt that needs to be made. My mysterious fixation with plaid was nurtured with the addition of a pair of purple plaid shorts which will hopefully fit. Those are less easy to try on over jeans. I served as a neutral consultant concerning dresses. A guy stopped me in housewares to ask if my hair was natural and said, and I quote, “it is totally rock star.” Thank you very much, dear stranger. 

After Savers, there was a quick and less eventful trip to Michael’s down the street for tassels. It’s been ages since I was last in a Michael’s and it seems that sewing fabric and notions have been replaced by knitting materials and Cricut supplies, which really stinks with the recent demise of JoAnn Fabrics. The only tassels in Michael’s, which required professional help to find, were in the seasonal area, and were much too large for a belt. They were more suitable for a Downton Abbey bell pull in a fancy sitting room. Nobody asked me if a dress was too grandmotherly. Nobody called me a rock star. There were no tassels. Michael's was a bit boring, but overall the day was a success.

random thoughts – Day 1,865 – (Friday) –hidden dangers

Tonight marked the fourth consecutive night out of the house. On Tuesday there was dance group, Wednesday had the Finance and Accounting social hour, Thursday was the planning session for the Tuesday dance group’s June show, Friday was dress rehearsal for the Sunday dance troupe’s show this weekend. It wasn’t especially hectic, but I’m still glad it’s not like this every week.

Once upon a time, I was used to a high level of activity, but that was a long time ago. Back then, I was fueled by coffee, Diet Coke, adrenaline, anger, and stress. Life is much calmer now, and there is no live-in partner I’m trying to avoid. Being home is peaceful and lovely and usually the goal each day.

Violets!

There was a small amount of yard clean up done today, which allowed time to notice the violets are coming up near the rosebush. Pulling dead leaves hurts three fingers on my hand attached to the recently broken wrist which never actually hurt. Any exertion causes the scar to turn red and be even more sensitive than usual. I finally remembered to call the doctor’s office and there is an appointment on Monday.

The cleanup resulted in a sliver in a finger. It was removed and life moved on. While driving to dress rehearsal, my left hand hurt and I discovered another sliver in my hand in a spot that made contact with the steering wheel. I couldn’t wait to get to the studio so I could use a pin to dig it out. Either gardening is dangerous or I am becoming a little too delicate.

During rehearsal, I caught my foot on a floor splinter and there was bloodshed. Once cleaned up, a gouge and cut were visible. Bright red drops of my blood dotted the floor. It would have been the perfect time for collecting a blood sample. A Band-Aid was applied and rehearsal continued. By the end of rehearsal, the bandage was saturated and a new one applied. Luckily, it doesn’t hurt, and the performance on Sunday is outside and will include shoes. Hopefully I am spared additional slivers in fingers and splinter gouged feet until at least Monday.

random thoughts – Day 1,864 – (Thursday) – changing season

Bleeding heart buds.

The bleeding hearts are coming up all over the yard from the splitting and transplanting last year. There are two new plants out front and several out back. Some of them have buds of little heart blossoms dangling from the branches like bracelet charms. 

In other spring news, the mayor of The Bungalowell backyard has been making appearances. There might be more than one woodchuck back there, I don’t know. What I do know is, the fluffy blobby things are more agile than I imagined.

The other day, a woodchuck climbed up a chain link fence and down the other side, which seemed impressive. I’ve also seen one squeeze into a space that looks impossibly small given the bulky looking appearance. 

Woodchuck as meerkat.

Today, one did a remarkable impression of another critter. There was the sound of dogs barking somewhere in the neighborhood, and suddenly Chuck emerged from under the ramp to the shed and sat up straight and looked around like a meerkat. Maybe there has been some streaming of Meerkat Manor in the woodchuck abode. 

After work, there was a meetup of the Tuesday night dance group to plan the dance show in June. We worked on the lineup, keeping in mind time for changing costumes, and mapped out which would be stage dances and which required space on the floor in front of the stage. 

We talked a bit about the actual costumes, like which dances would have pants or 25-yard skirts, and long tops versus short tops, and quiet belts instead of coin belts. And we feasted on a potluck supper. It was fun. We have just under eight weeks until the show. And two of us in the Tuesday group, have two days before our Earth Day show with the Sunday group. The change from dance preparation season to dance performance season is here.

random thoughts – Day 1,863 – (Wednesday) –observations of the day

Shop window on Bridge Street.

Some days offer random tidbits and nuggets to notice and play with.

There is a new clothing shop on Bridge Street across the trolley tracks from Arthur’s Paradise Diner. It's next to the previously opened dress shop with goods displayed in the window that have fascinated me for months. The first shop has mannequins in shiny metallic gold clad in dresses and pantsuits that look perfect to wear to a wedding, a fancy event, or a high-end resort.

The new shop has gorgeous long dresses with matching head scarfs for girls and women, and one slightly cockeyed mannequin stand with a golden beaded shoulder cape with fringe. I hope that the usual red light will put me in the right spot to admire it from traffic, and try to conjure up an occasion or outfit to pair it with. The best I can come up with is a dance costume or a 1920s costume party.

Excessively long legs.

The elegant fantasy life inspired by the merchandise in the windows of the two shops makes sitting in traffic more tolerable. So much eye candy. Someday I will get myself in there for a visit during business hours to explore.

Tonight, on Merrimack Street, while walking to the garage after a gathering with colleagues, the setting sun provided an amusing shadow. I looked about ninety-seven feet tall with legs that extend half a block. I always wanted longer legs, but the shadow cast tonight took it a little bit too far.

Over on John Street, in the building housing a local credit union, is a door. It's green, it has a large window, hinges, and a lock,and a bit of a handle. There is a small blue sign with white lettering declaring "NO TRESPASSING" in don't mess with us all caps. Above that, is a sign printed on letter sized paper and taped to the inside of the glass that emphatically declares"THIS IS NOT A DOOR".

Looks like a door. Claims it's not a door.

Ummm, I beg to differ, but it is most definitely a door. It has all the characteristics of a door. It's likely the intended message is that this door is not intended to be used as an entrance, and visitors should use the door at the corner of the building. You know, "Please Use Main Entrance" with an arrow pointing to the right in the direction of the primary entrance. I am tempted to print a corrected sign and deliver it to the credit union, as a public service of sorts.

Further up on John Street, not far from the credit union, the pocket garden tucked between two concrete buildings, trimmed a few weeks ago, is beginning to flower. The building behind it now has rice paper screens in the big window overlooking the garden, providing a clean backdrop for the garden as viewed from the sidewalk. Previously, the window was uncovered, and a work table covered with shopping bags and paper and clutter could be seen. It's a nicer view from the sidewalk, but now the view of the garden from inside the building is blocked.

random thoughts – Day 1,862 – (Tuesday) – work, eggs, dance

Matzo brie for lunch.

It was a butt in chair at the desk all day kind of day. There was a resume workshop scheduled for those of us who will be departing the bank soon. There were short notice ads and a delivery to the printer for the other project of the past few weeks.

Lunch was matzo brie, a scrambled egg delicacy introduced to me by X1 and his family and made possible by the display of Manischewitz matzo crackers at Market Basket the other day. Oh, matzo brie, how I love you, with your broken crackers sautéed in a fry pan with butter, with scrambled eggs poured in and stirred while it cooked. Delicious. 

Suddenly, it was 5:04, which I noticed almost by accident as I was finishing sending out an ad. I really needed to be logged out, grabbing my bag for dance practice, and hitting the road.

But first, I needed gas, because I neglected to get some on Saturday when I was out in the world, and then again on Monday on the way home from downtown. As I dashed out the door, clad in a rarely-worn heavy pullover sweatshirt, I discovered it was 75 degrees and sunny. This is information I would have known back in the days of having dogs, because I would have been outside with them several times during the day. I would have tidied up flower beds. Walked the yard. Followed the dogs.  Known many details about the weather. Without the dogs, I rarely go outside.

Without a zipper for temperature control, it was hot in the sweatshirt and then I remembered why I usually don’t wear it. It provided an opportunity to check out the A/C in the car. It works.  

Dance was good. We are preparing for a show in mid-June, so there was discussion about who is in which dance. We stretched, broke down some moves in some of the dances, and then we splintered off into groups to review the dances. Very productive.

random thoughts – Day 1,861 – (Monday) – in the office

Today became an in-office day instead of a remote day, thanks to Comcast. Thanks to good communications, it wasn’t a surprise.

A couple weeks ago, a letter arrived from Comcast with an alert that there would be work in the area in the next few weeks and that more info would arrive closer to the date. Last week, a text message came with the tentative date of today and promising confirmation the day before. Yesterday morning, a text came with the potential start time, which could be as early as 6 a.m.

Normally, on Monday, I work remotely and might cut corners. You know, like skipping a shower or not blow drying and styling my hair. The timeline is different, because I don’t need to leave to drive downtown and at the work start time I can walk to the desk. 

Flowering trees on John Street.

When I went to bed Sunday night, I reminded myself that in the morning I needed to shower, dry and style the hair, dress for the office, and get out of the house in a timely manner, like a regularly scheduled office day. I could also have made the decision to work remotely, cross my fingers  and hope the service interruption was before work, or during lunch, or was brief. There was the risk I might have to dump a task on a colleague. 

All the things were done and I got out the door on time. Because it’s school vacation week, the ride was easy, and then I found a parking spot on the second level of the garage. The trees are flowering and downtown is looking fresh and lovely. I had solved Wordle in two guesses. It was starting out as a pretty good day.

At 9:00, a Comcast text informed that work was beginning and service would be out. I was in the middle of a review that has a small timeframe for completion and was glad I had gone to the office. At 11:00, another came that work was completed and service should be restored. 

Had I been working remotely I would have missed my rotation for the review and a team touchbase meeting. And more importantly, the cupcakes and cannoli brought to the office by a colleague. Time was spent clearing out a desk drawer. Lots of notes from meetings five or six years ago were tossed. Overall, it was a decent day.

random thoughts – Day 1,860 – (Sunday) – bright night light

Day two of the "freshen the porch before the house goes up for sale" painting project commenced at 10:00 this morning. The planned procedural approach was top down – first the trim board at the top of the wall, which was done Saturday (day one). Next would be the top boards inside the window frames, then the vertical trim between the windows, which was started on Saturday. Finally, the deep sills that run under the windows on two walls.

The original paint color was a yellowish-tan that is close to the boring, generic, safe color of the vinyl siding. The new color is called “Night Light” and is a cream color. I didn’t want to take a handful of paint chips home and wanted to leave the store that night with paint. Not a lot of deliberation went into the choice, meaning, for once, I didn't overthink it. It took two years to decide on a kitchen paint color and I don't have that kind of time.

The painting plan was conceived to deal with the chance that I miscalculated how much paint was needed and ran out. If the sills were the last segments to be done and more paint was needed, everything above them would match, and whatever paint was needed for the sills, either a new can of the same color that might not match exactly, or a different color, would be the same.

There were seven windows and the sills under all ten windows left to be done this morning. I started at the short wall with two windows. The paint supply was plentiful, and the plan was changed on the fly. Once the window frames were painted, I moved right onto the sills. It felt more efficient completing the section in one visit.

I methodically moved along the wall of windows and sills. I was so engrossed in painting that I had no idea of the time. At some point, I stopped, cleaned up everything, and had a big plate of salad with homemade dressing. The coverage on the sills looked uneven, and, even though I had already cleaned everything up and moved on to laundry, a second coat was done on the sills. 

Later, when admiring the gleaming, fresh paint in the sunlight, nearly blinding in its glory, I noticed I had forgotten to paint the trim around the door leading to the deck. In a few minutes, the narrow framing was painted, another clean up was conducted, and I was finally done for the day. There is a small amount of paint left in the can, and I might finally be able to stop second guessing myself when it comes to math, especially when the calculations have been checked twice, even thrice.

"Night Light" is brighter in real life.

The paint color "Night Light" is not quite what I imagined in real life. It’s brighter and whiter than the chip, almost as if the color wasn’t added, but the dab of paint on the lid matches the chip card. The color isn't a huge concern. The objective was "fresh paint," and it is definitely fresher than the tired tan paint of unknown vintage. 

Without window coverings, the porch feels exposed, like a stage for the neighbor’s entertainment. The sheer curtains soften the light, provide some privacy, and make the porch feel more like a comfortable space. Once the paint is most definitely fully dried and won’t be messed up by the tension rods, the sheer curtains can go back in the windows, and I can't wait.

The walls don't seem problematic, and with luck, a handyman will be available by the time I get to the floor. I need to be decluttering, downsizing, and scheduling a moving cube to store some of the household stuff. 

random thoughts – Day 1,859 – (Saturday) – windows and painting

With a weather forecast of temperatures in the 80s, the plan was to start the porch painting. The paint had been bought Thursday night from a big box store which was a mini adventure. As I was looking at paint chips, the intercom started calling for help at the paint desk. It went off twice, while a guy in a suit stood there waiting. I made a quick color choice and stood at the counter near him. It was several minutes before a clerk arrived and in less time than the initial wait, we each had our paint and were on our respective ways.

The bathroom linen/pet supplies/tools and stuff closet was visited for the rollers and brushes I remembered having from the kitchen and bathroom painting projects. It turned out I was also pretty well stocked with plastic tarps. On the porch, the roll up shades were taken down and the sheer curtains were removed and set in the laundry. A tarp was spread over the planting work table. The small bistro table and chairs, some plant stands, and flower pots were relocated. The broom was used to sweep/dust the parts to be painted. 

Some of the windows, so many narrow bits between.

It was a methodical plan. First up, the six-inch boards at the top of all four walls. The small cabinet door roller was perfect for that. Next, the narrow trim around the front door. It took 1.5 hours and I was on a roll. There was still coffee to drink and it was comfortable, but it was time to stop, clean up, and go to dance practice for the Earth Day performance next Saturday. 

The drive to dance  on a Saturday afternoon is heavier than Sunday morning, and there were several events along the way that made the travel slower, but the jonquils and daffodils are out, and the forsythia and trees are flowering, so at least it was pretty. There was a big yard sale on one side of the road with people crossing from the parking area across the street, but I didn't have time to stop to check it out. Earlier in the day, there was a reenactment of part of the Townsend Minuteman’s Walk to Concord that started at the Common and I got to see some of the participants gathered for festivities at Reed Homestead on route 119 as I sat at a red light.

After dance practice, it was back to the house and the manual labor. First, the center beam on the ceiling was done, and then the trim and framing between the ten porch windows was started. The short wall with three windows was done, followed by the framing around the storm door before calling it a day. It was hot on the porch with the 4:30 sun blazing in through the doors and windows and my legs were feeling the many trips up and down the step stool.

Tomorrow, the longer part of the front wall with five windows and the end wall with two larger windows will be tackled, and hopefully there will be stamina for the eight-inch deep sills that run on the wall under all the windows. The final phase will be the half-walls below the sills, the one tall wall with the door to the deck, and the floor, but the paint for that phase hadn't been bought yet. The walls and floor are currently a burnt red, but I'm leaning dark blue. It’s nice to have a plan, and satisfying to see progress. The free home workout isn’t too bad, either.

random thoughts – Day 1,858 – (Friday) – first and beyond

First day steps.

Nine years ago today, it was my first day at work. Before the big day, I had gone shopping with my cousin/first-day outfit consultant/shopping sensei Missy and she helped me find a great navy-blue suit with jacket, pants and skirt from Ann Taylor. 

On new job day one, I wore the pants and jacket with a blue and white striped cotton shirt, and a peach silk tie with blue accents as a belt. The shoes, bronze-metallic square toed pumps with a chain detail, were also new. It was a fresh start on all fronts. 

At the time, I was staying at Mom's, which meant commuting to Lowell from Fitchburg. Unfamiliar with the traffic on the route, I left early and landed in downtown early. It gave me a chance to walk around the block a bit and admire all the cobblestones on Middle, Palmer, and Shattuck Streets before reporting to the office.

First day, 4-18-2016.

That first day, the graphic designer also started. As first day welcome gifts, the marketing manager gave us each a plant, and there was a welcome sign. There were also some bank-branded items including a three-color highlighter and insulated lunch bag. Because we started in the middle of the month, our formal HR orientation wasn’t scheduled until May. There were lots of meet and greet conversations and meeting invitations and overviews of how things worked.

At noon, the marketing manager and department head took us to lunch at nearby Fuse Bistro. As we chatted at the table, the department head asked us if we had any vacation plans. It felt like the most surreal question four hours into the first day of a new job. At that point, neither of us had plans beyond getting through the nerves of the first day. Or maybe it was just me.

Once I passed the seven-year work-iversary, it was officially the longest I’d ever worked at a company. The timid first day plant gift had endured alternating stretches of being in need of life support and being lush and healthy. It always felt like a desktop barometer of my potential success in the job. It became a goal to see how long I could make it at the bank and if I could keep the plant alive. Beyond the ten year mark and all the way to retirement eventually became the goal. 

Life has a funny way of altering goals and plans, and the upcoming merger will derail this one. It’s okay. It will all work out. At least that is what I keep telling myself, as the last day at this work and the next first day creep closer. First day of what exactly, is still to be determined. My office plant is looking well and healthy again so I'm taking that as a sign.  

random thoughts – Day 1,857 – (Thursday) – lists and progress

I make lists. At work there are weekly to-do lists of the stuff for the week. I’m really good at managing that one. The paycheck is a big motivator. The rest are not always as closely monitored or successfully completed.

At home there are lists everywhere. On scraps and notepad sheets in the office and living room and tucked into drawers. There are writing ideas, grocery lists, gift ideas, recipes to try. For several years, I made a yearly list of tasks and repairs for the house and then would misplace it. When eventually found again, it was fun to cross off the accomplishments. Insulation, fence, gutter screens, closet shelving, and gate for the deck. All were completed. Other tasks have lingered longer. 

The newest house list involves preparations for yet another list -- listing it for sale. A trip to Lowe’s tonight got the paint needed for the sills in the enclosed porch and now I can work on those this weekend. I figure it will go quickly, which means it will probably take me a week to complete. I also got a replacement bulb for the bathroom heat lamp which burned out ages ago. 

One top makes two costumes.

After Lowes’ I stopped at Rainbow, which was my favorite go-to for inexpensive and colorful dance class wear and costume components when there was a store downtown. Now that the only option is across town this was my first visit since around the pandemic. The current costume list included tops in colors to go with the new Bangkok pants and/or tiered skirts, and Rainbow delivered with one in “mango” color that does double duty with two pieces. 

I love it when the clothes and costume pieces play well together. This acquisition doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll stop looking, because sometimes the fun is in the quest. And also, there are more dance skirts and pants that need partners.

What Kiki looked like
peeking over the bed.

There is even list for Kiki. It has “sample to vet for fecal test” (new entry), and the big ones, “turn her into a cuddle kitty,” and “get her used to the crate and go for rides to fun (non-vet) places (more than a year). The plan is to wear her down with shoulder rubs and face rubs and keep inviting her onto the bed each night now that she comes into the bedroom and curls up on the rug. Last night, as I did a final Duolingo lesson before sleeping, Kiki’s ears and eyes popped up at the side of the bed. It looked like the doormat in my Amazon "saved for later" list. She looked at me, I looked at her, and she popped down to under the bed. It felt like a big step.

Tonight, when I went upstairs to lay the pants on the bed to check how they look with the top, there was Kiki, in the middle of rising from what seemed to be her suddenly disturbed nap atop the bed. Busted! She looked at me, I looked at her, and she slunk off the bed and underneath it like she had been bad or thought she would be scolded. Meanwhile, I was excited, telling her she is a good girl and taking it as progress in our relationship. The minimal level of cat hair on the blanket indicates this is likely a new situation. There is hope.

random thoughts – Day 1,856 – (Wednesday) – costume quest

As dance performance season nears, dance costume preparation panic kicks into high gear. The costumes involve multiple pieces that are the official costume, various hair and jewelry accessories, and other parts dictated by the venue (usually outdoors) and weather. April events could be warm and pleasant or they might be cold and raw. At August and September events, we could suffer heat stroke or it could be chilly. It’s anyone’s guess, and it’s not even fair to blame it on New England weather because it was the same situation in Middle Tennessee.

The Jezebellies freezing in April 2011.

In 2011 in Clarksville, Tennessee, our troupe The Jezebellies was scheduled for a morning performance at the April Rivers and Spires Festival. It had rained the night before and when we arrived at the site everything was wet. The temperature was in the 40s and raw, and we huddled and shivered near the stage in our lightweight harem pants, golden dance tops, and spring jackets, waiting for the sound guy, who was late and still nowhere in sight. Ugh. The minutes ticked by, the schedule was now late, and we were cold. At other festivals in the same town, we nearly baked on the asphalt under the blazing sun.

Years later in Massachusetts, hours before an Earth Day performance on the Common in Townsend, it was an especially chilly and extra breezy day, and I was tearing through a nearby Wal-Mart desperately searching for leggings and tank tops to layer under my costume for warmth. The wind blew our veils all over the place. A pizza box was carried across the Common by the wind and landed around one of the legs of a dancer in the middle of a dance. Crazy! We still laugh about "that time with the pizza box."

Costume quest.

This year I’m in two dance groups and there are performances scheduled for April 26, June 6, June 17, July 26, and another one or two over the summer still TBD. In the process of tearing through two under-bed storage boxes, one closet shelf, and a quilt storage bag looking for a specific red belt and top set worn only once, maybe twice, a couple forgotten costume components were unearthed. It felt like a treasure hunt when I failed to find the top and belt, but found the forgotten and never used coordinating hair accessory with tassels and shells. The worst part is, I know I had that set in my hands a few months ago. But where the heck was/is it? Seriously, where?!? I need to find these pieces pronto. Like yesterday, and definitely by next Tuesday.

The main quest turned into an opportunity for a little organizing side quest. The skirts and harem pants are now rounded up and hung together for the first time, instead of the previous scattered storage. Maybe someday I can perform a similar exercise and collect and hang all the Halloween costume parts. It will probably be a side quest to a larger objective, but whatever gets stuff done is okay with me.

random thoughts – Day 1,855 – (Tuesday) – patchwork day

Opening tray.

The day started out with the craziest starting tray in a Words with Friends gam, and the note there were no moves possible. Awesome. Pass.

It was donation pickup day from Big Brothers Big Sisters as part of operation downsize. Under a calm sky, the boxes and bags were placed on the deck by 7:00 a.m. as directed. It wasn't long before the sky opened up and rain poured down upon the four boxes and the bag of clothes. I ran out with a larger plastic bag to try and cover it, but it was already wet. I missed the truck’s arrival, but I hope the boxes didn’t disintegrate when they were loaded.

At some point in the morning, I got to see a woodchuck climb it’s fluffy butt up one side of a chain link fence, pause on the top edge, then climb down the other side. Amusing and very impressive. The fluffiness hides the agility.

At lunchtime there was a presentation at work that included a film screening of the documentary Lost Child: Sayon’s Story, about a child soldier with the Khmer Rouge and his eventual reunion with family members. It’s a beautifully done film dealing with news topics I vaguely recall hearing about when I was a kid. The Sayon in the story is the husband of a colleague, which made it even more impactful and personal.

At first, I was bummed I wasn’t onsite for the screening, panel discussion, and Cambodian food lunch. As I sobbed through most of the movie I was glad to be at home, alone, and not in a room full of colleagues struggling to keep my sh*t together.

Cloudy and sunny.

The afternoon delivered a couple vague and half-baked project requests, followed by a routine task that landed at 4:30 and should have been on my list but had been forgotten completely. Luckily, it was a quick and routine turnaround. For a nanosecond, it felt like the only thing that had gone right all day, but then I realized I put the wrong financial quarter in the headline and had to fix it.

As 5:00 approached, the sky grew so dark lights were needed. Rain roared down. Thunder rolled in. It looked grim outside, and I needed to leave for dance in a few minutes. The rain cleared, but the traffic was heavy and slow. It took extra-long to get to dance, and  I arrived barely on time. By then, the sky was a gray flannel shade but the sun had returned. I couldn't find a rainbow, but I was late-ish and didn't spend a lot of time looking. 

Missing seven of the past eight weeks has really set me back in the Tuesday night dance group. We ran through dances I kind of knew and felt pretty good about back in early February, but now it’s like I have total amnesia. At one point, I just wanted to cry all over again. It got better when we learned a new dance and I wasn’t just flailing about trying to follow something I used to know.

And there we have it. A patchwork quilt of a day. Sunshine, rain, tears, swears. A wood chuck performing athletic feats. Crazy screw ups. Thunder and more rain. Dancing, frustration, and then things were suddenly better. Whew.