Friday, November 9, 2012

Headline News

Every day, multiple times a day, I scan the headlines on Yahoo. I don't always read the articles, because sometimes the headlines alone are plenty of entertainment. In with the legitimate, hard (read: usually depressing) news is the soft news -- heavy on the Hollywood "Who really cares?" variety, that offsets the gloom of everything else. Without the fluff news, it's possible we'd all be sobbing raw nerves in need of therapy. Those who read the news, anyway.

Every once in a while, my selective attention plucks out a series of headlines in a day or a series of days that send me over the top. It happened again this week.

On the heels of the national election that dominated the news for what felt like forever, these are some of the real Yahoo headlines that caught my eye from  amongst the hard news of weather disasters, stock market drops, the near-daily gunfights in the 'Ville,  and 8,000 year old bones in an ancient well:

"Worst celeb tattoos"
"Party schools that pay off"
"In Hollywood, I’m obese"
"Middleton rocks same dress"
"Michelle Obama recycles Michael Kors dress"
"Sasha Obama election night skirt was first worn by Malia"


It’s "news" that Michelle Obama, First Lady of the United States, and Kate Middleton, the wife of Prince William, recently wore dresses they had already worn before? And Sasha Obama wore a hand-me-down skirt on election night? OH MY GAWD!!!  Public figures behave like everyone else and presidential children have to suffer with hand-me-downs?

And this is newsworthy?!?!?

Perhaps, since the election, these are slow news days (until the breaking news about David Petraus resigning from the CIA, anyway). Maybe it’s the work of publicists attempting to illustrate that Royals and First Ladies with access to top designers and money that most people can only dream of, are just like the rest us (at least in a tight economy). Sure they live in palatial residences with cooks and staff, but look -- they wear their designer clothes more than once!

On the bright side, parents everywhere can now say, (with full journalistic backing), that "If hand-me-downs are good enough for the president's kid, they are good enough for you, [fill in first, middle and last name of whining child protesting wearing clothes of older sibling]."  

Imagine if this was "news" for normal people -- all of us non-royal, non-presidential, working-stiff  types. I can see the shocking headlines now:

"School teacher wears same cardigan over five year period"
"Office worker wears same suit to three different client meetings in one month"
"Utility worker wears same five uniforms in rotation throughout 15 year career"

If wearing clothes more than once is a newsworthy event, then most of us probably deserve a medal. Or a new outfit.

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